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i said something like this before(i believe) kinda long

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:29 PM
  • 46 Replies

 ok i remember saying something like this before about my ss's bm not allowing my dh to know anything about his son... Well we were able to find out what daycare he goes to from my sd(not his bio),but when he emailed them to get some info on his son,they said that they aren't allowed to tell him anything over the phone or through email... He has never physically been to the daycare because she wouldn't tell him anything about it,thats why he emailed them... Well i guess the daycare told bm and she got pissed off because he emailed HER CHILD'S DAYCARE... Umm excuse me i thought it was bm and dh's child not just hers??? but idk... so anyway she text's him cussing him up and down saying why would you email his daycare and if he had a problem to confront her... but all he said was: Hi I believe My son (took out child's name)goes to your daycare... How is he doing?How is his speech coming along?When he's at my house it's as if he doesn't know how to pronounce words correctly,like for MILK,he'll say MOLK.... what are the costs per month for him going there? Thank you so much if you could provide me with this info... thank you...what they said was:

Hi Jeremy,

I’m sorry it is our school policy that we cannot give enrollment information or personal information through e-mail or over the phone.

He wanted to find out what was going on because she told him she was putting him in "school" for his education and to help with his speech... obviously thats NOT helping... She works Graveyard shifts and her dd goes to an actual school(she's in 1st grade now),so since his speech isn't improving he now believes she just sends him to daycare so she can sleep All day til the kids get home,she doesn't work daytime AT ALL...She hasn't said how much she pays for him to go to daycare...he's been trying to find out how much she actually pays... We can barely understand him when he's over here at dad's house...   She also says if he wants him in "More" speech therapy(which obviously he's not in ANY kind of speech therapy) he should FORK UP,and pay more CS,she(BM) also says if he thinks he's paying too much in CS to take her back to court... She told him they'd probably just give her more since when she had CS ordered he was on unemployment and gave him the bare min. to pay her...And she told him she wasn't going to go back to get it raised because she knows he has another family to take care of... He only pays about $240 a month in CS and i know it'd probably be more if they went back to court right now...but we are starting to get skids Every Weekend now since she will be moving a lil closer,but she'd still be in her dd's school district so dd doesn't have to change schools... So now we have a question... When he starts getting them every weekend and if he tries to go get some sorta custody CO will they raise his CS even higher even though he will have SS every weekend and still be paying about $240 a month(what he pays now)...(yea still no CO yet) jw...??? Will they re-do his CS in the Custody/Visitation hearing? or will they just go over the visitation schedule,and Not include CS info?

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:46 PM

 Why would you think for one damn minute that someone would give out personal info like that over the phone or e-mail. ESPECIALLY e-mail! How dense can one be...I mean really.

Mamaslilbear10
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Quoting baparrot2:

 Why would you think for one damn minute that someone would give out personal info like that over the phone or e-mail. ESPECIALLY e-mail! How dense can one be...I mean really.

 it wasn't even really that personal,they can't even say how much it costs for a child to go to daycare there either? jw SS is HIS child as well as hers... And since he was supposed to be going to "school"(daycare) for his speech and education(which isn't helping) he was trying to find out what was going on since he works all the time and can't make it out there to do it in person... So BM is just wasting his and her money by putting him in daycare just so she doesn't have to deal with him during the day and so she can Sleep since she works graveyard shift as a waitress... All she does is sleep and work... even her daughter says bm works all the time,and rarely spends time with ss and her daughter.... she works at night,sleeps mostly all day,ss gets really no interactment with bm at all,so he still doesn't speak right at all and he'll be 5 in december... What he was asking them really wasn't that personal IMO,Now what would be personal info would be him asking the daycare for ss's ssn etc... Like i said DH can barely even understand anything SS says when he's over here... SS calls everything water even if its juice or soda etc... Obviously bm isn't teaching him anything or helping him learn how to really speak right... BM's  not being cooperative at all,since DH tried finding out the info from HER before he even sent the email,and she still wouldn't tell him a Damn thing... JS

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Why couldn't he go to the daycare in person to make the enquiries? He could then observe for himself the type of facility, the appropriateness of the environment and the teaching methods.

Ms.Gwen
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:38 PM
This. And don't tell us "he has to work" cause if he can't take one damn day off work for the welfare of his child than he just needs to "shut up and color."


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Why couldn't he go to the daycare in person to make the enquiries? He could then observe for himself the type of facility, the appropriateness of the environment and the teaching methods.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
andie646c
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Is there a CO in place that states he has the right to this information? No CO saying he has visitation or anything?

In my state, if you don't have the CO, you can't get information on a child at all period. If you called and said, "I need to enroll a child that is this age" then they can tell you the general rate for that age but since there are government programs that can help pay daycare it's not a guarantee that the particular child you are asking about has to pay that much.

Would you really want just ANYONE to be able to call in and say, "Hey, I'm this kids dad, can you verify he goes there?" ... that means any Tom Dick or Harry could call in asking about the kid and get that info. They could use that information in all sorts of crazy and horrible ways.

The daycare has no way to know if the person calling or emailing is ACTUALLY dad, so even if he has a CO they shouldn't give out information. Especially not information that will tell someone if a child goes to the daycare. If he really wants information he should take his CO up to the daycare ... work or not, his child is important to him and he will take off of work to go check it out if he really wants to know.

I think the fact that she works graveyard and the child is in daycare is irrelevant to any of this. Why does your DH care how much she pays? It's her money, not his.

There are government programs to help with speech therapy as well. Some free of charge if the parent qualifies. Have your DH look into them if this is a huge concern for him. In my area, the programs are run through the Department of Health and through MHMR as well as our local Rehab center.

Mamaslilbear10
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:46 PM

 he does have 1 day off a week,besides saturday and sunday... He's usually spending time with our 2 boys during the time he has off... He could go to do that on one of the fridays he is off... But then she'd still text him cussing him out since he didn't ask her about whats going on... he's tried and is it so horrible he wants to find this stuff out about his son when she won't tell him anything??? They should just be able to let him observe etc if he has ss's BC in hand saying he is the father etc?

Quoting Ms.Gwen:

This. And don't tell us "he has to work" cause if he can't take one damn day off work for the welfare of his child than he just needs to "shut up and color."


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Why couldn't he go to the daycare in person to make the enquiries? He could then observe for himself the type of facility, the appropriateness of the environment and the teaching methods.


 

Mamaslilbear10
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:52 PM

 

Quoting andie646c:

Is there a CO in place that states he has the right to this information? No CO saying he has visitation or anything?

In my state, if you don't have the CO, you can't get information on a child at all period. If you called and said, "I need to enroll a child that is this age" then they can tell you the general rate for that age but since there are government programs that can help pay daycare it's not a guarantee that the particular child you are asking about has to pay that much.

Would you really want just ANYONE to be able to call in and say, "Hey, I'm this kids dad, can you verify he goes there?" ... that means any Tom Dick or Harry could call in asking about the kid and get that info. They could use that information in all sorts of crazy and horrible ways.

The daycare has no way to know if the person calling or emailing is ACTUALLY dad, so even if he has a CO they shouldn't give out information. Especially not information that will tell someone if a child goes to the daycare. If he really wants information he should take his CO up to the daycare ... work or not, his child is important to him and he will take off of work to go check it out if he really wants to know.

I think the fact that she works graveyard and the child is in daycare is irrelevant to any of this. Why does your DH care how much she pays? It's her money, not his.

There are government programs to help with speech therapy as well. Some free of charge if the parent qualifies. Have your DH look into them if this is a huge concern for him. In my area, the programs are run through the Department of Health and through MHMR as well as our local Rehab center.

 NO CO, just one for CS... thats it... That is relevant because he's in school as she calls it so he can have speech therapy,so she never spends very much time with him... obviously since his speech hasn't improved at all... and he's been going to "school" since probably august last year...So basically she's just wasting His CS money and her money just to put him into daycare so she could sleep all day long... She's basically just using him as a paycheck,because we ask for certain things etc and she's like well why do you need to know that and you don't need that,but he's DAD,he has a right to know about his son and whats going on,but she is being uncooperative...

Ms.Gwen
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:54 PM
I would take BC and CO, and yes they will give him a private tour if he asks because it's the law.


Quoting Mamaslilbear10:

 he does have 1 day off a week,besides saturday and sunday... He's usually spending time with our 2 boys during the time he has off... He could go to do that on one of the fridays he is off... But then she'd still text him cussing him out since he didn't ask her about whats going on... he's tried and is it so horrible he wants to find this stuff out about his son when she won't tell him anything??? They should just be able to let him observe etc if he has ss's BC in hand saying he is the father etc?


Quoting Ms.Gwen:

This. And don't tell us "he has to work" cause if he can't take one damn day off work for the welfare of his child than he just needs to "shut up and color."



Quoting leegirl_jm:


Why couldn't he go to the daycare in person to make the enquiries? He could then observe for himself the type of facility, the appropriateness of the environment and the teaching methods.



 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mamaslilbear10
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:57 PM

What about this part of my post? anyone wanna comment on this and help with this???Mostly the bottom part,cause there is a question i have not had answered by any of you yet... Please help and stop being rude... thank you all so much... He wanted to find out what was going on because she told him she was putting him in "school" for his education and to help with his speech... obviously thats NOT helping... She works Graveyard shifts and her dd goes to an actual school(she's in 1st grade now),so since his speech isn't improving he now believes she just sends him to daycare so she can sleep All day til the kids get home,she doesn't work daytime AT ALL...She hasn't said how much she pays for him to go to daycare...he's been trying to find out how much she actually pays... We can barely understand him when he's over here at dad's house... She also says if he wants him in "More" speech therapy(which obviously he's not in ANY kind of speech therapy) he should FORK UP,and pay more CS,she(BM) also says if he thinks he's paying too much in CS to take her back to court... She told him they'd probably just give her more since when she had CS ordered he was on unemployment and gave him the bare min. to pay her...And she told him she wasn't going to go back to get it raised because she knows he has another family to take care of... He only pays about $240 a month in CS and i know it'd probably be more if they went back to court right now...but we are starting to get skids Every Weekend now since she will be moving a lil closer,but she'd still be in her dd's school district so dd doesn't have to change schools... So now we have a question... When he starts getting them every weekend and if he tries to go get some sorta custody CO will they raise his CS even higher even though he will have SS every weekend and still be paying about $240 a month(what he pays now)...(yea still no CO yet) jw...??? Will they re-do his CS in the Custody/Visitation hearing? or will they just go over the visitation schedule,and Not include CS info?

Mamaslilbear10
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:58 PM

 but all he has is BC no CO except for CS,no visitation schedule or anything is in place yet...

Quoting Ms.Gwen:

I would take BC and CO, and yes they will give him a private tour if he asks because it's the law.


Quoting Mamaslilbear10:

 he does have 1 day off a week,besides saturday and sunday... He's usually spending time with our 2 boys during the time he has off... He could go to do that on one of the fridays he is off... But then she'd still text him cussing him out since he didn't ask her about whats going on... he's tried and is it so horrible he wants to find this stuff out about his son when she won't tell him anything??? They should just be able to let him observe etc if he has ss's BC in hand saying he is the father etc?


Quoting Ms.Gwen:

This. And don't tell us "he has to work" cause if he can't take one damn day off work for the welfare of his child than he just needs to "shut up and color."



Quoting leegirl_jm:


Why couldn't he go to the daycare in person to make the enquiries? He could then observe for himself the type of facility, the appropriateness of the environment and the teaching methods.



 


 

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