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Bipolar is an illness....... not a personality flaw

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I have seen on here too many times that a parent is bipolar so they are worthless. Please stop this. It is a pepetuation of a stero type that mental illness is okay to use as a dehumanizing tool. People use to use race the same way. Not once have I seen on here that "oh parent a has diabetes so they are worthless. " Did you know that a majority of Americans suffer from some form of mental illness or personality disorder. That it affects every family in one way or other. That if one parent has it than there is a strong chance that the skid that you love like your own will either have it or have a child with it. That in the '50's people with cancer were talked about in the same way as people with mental illness are today. It is the last bastion of socially acceptable bigotry. If mental illness affects your family get educated, yes if BM is actually bipolar than SM needs to get educated. NAMI online is a good place to start. Thank you for reading this.
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM
Replies (31-40):
liltigersmom
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:08 AM
What is vibration therapy?

Quoting lilangilyn:

I appreciate you posting this. I think some people get bi polar confused with border line personality disorder. Bi polar people have the ability and the desire to live perfectly normal lives. They do not have the same issues as those with personality disorders and can have great jobs, kids and families.


Have you read about the success of this being treated with vibration therapy? I have a family member that this is working so well on that she no longer needs medication. It's so wonderful. You would never know that she has ever been diagnosed bi polar.

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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:06 PM

It cannot be an excuse for bad behaviour. I think BM probably suffers from bouts of depression now and again, I think when she assaulted me she was going through some major depression however it doesn't excuse her behaviour, generally illness doesn't excuse bad behaviour. I don't think anyone else aside from your support people (family & friends) need to put up with the effects of other people's illness.

Amy1973Potts
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:43 PM
Bipolar is an affective disorder, in a different Cluster than mood disorders.

Oh hell I'll just admit this now.

In 1998 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, one of the most intractible formsof mental illness and one that therapists cringe over.

In 2005 I was properly diagnosed with ADD.

In 2011 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. Apparently I have bad it since my teens. Having Lyme Disease for ten years may haave delayed the diagnosis because of the cognitive changes and being exhausted. My Bipolar includes mixed episodes and I toe the line with Bipolar I.

I have been in perimenopause for over a year.

This Thursday I got worked up for Celiac Disease.

I still function and can now hold a job: proper diagnosis and treatment have given me my sanity back.

If anyone can trump my shitpile, have at it LOL
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andie646c
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I am bipolar ... even being bipolar I think there are def. circumstances where a child is NOT safe in the home of a bipolar parent. 

If a mother is diabetic and doesn't care for her diabetes, she can be "unfit" as well. Not checking your sugar, not taking your meds, not using insulin (if needed) and not eating right can place a child in a lot of danger (especially when very young).

Amy1973Potts
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:07 PM
You are correct. There us a huge difference.

You don't have to have a mental illness to be a batshit asshole. We don't hold the patent on that.

One distinction with me is I have always been cognizant of my behavior and have a great deal of insight into ME. I own my shit. I am personally responsible. I make my issues work for me; when I am hypomanic I use the energy, creative ideas and such to my advantage. When I was medicated for six years for ADD I used that to my advantage. I was razor-sharp and could multitask like a mutha. I needed to cease the Vyvanse for ADD as it was
really aggravating the bipolar. Now that the bipolar is fairly well controlled I don 't need the Vyvanse. Its a delkcate balance and KNOWING your triggers and behavior changes that herald a shift. I also have my bullshit meter set at 0 which is most likely a result of the Bipolar, but thats not a bad thing. I don't use it as an excuse. My SO is learning about it with a book. I feel like it is opening Pandora's box an once he knows what it is really like, he may see me differently. He hasn 't yet.


Quoting chanizen:

There is a difference between living with a mental illness and behaving poorly. For me there has always been a HUGE distinction between the two. I have known kind and wonderful people who struggle and overcome mental illnesses or mental challenges. And of course there are many cognitive "typicals" who behave poorly. I agree with this post entirely.



I have been recently been re-examining how I use the word crazy (personally, I do NOT use it to mean mentally ill). I use it to describe what is to me irrational behavior or behavior intended to shock, threaten or disturb. But because it can be so dismissive... And so many people use the term to put down people with mental illness. I'm re-thinking it.



There is no reason to mock or belittle a person with a mental illness. Honestly, I think most people do it out of fear and not just ignorance.



Also, when I see statistics where 10% or more of the female population is diagnosed with a disorder..... It's not a disorder. It then is either 1). Mislabeling and misdiagnosis OR. 2) within the range of NORMAL behavior.


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liltigersmom
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 2:12 PM

 I had a really good therapist, that taught me, coping skills and such.

I do take one medication, and it works wonders, only bad side effect is the weight gain.

lilangilyn
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 2:56 PM

It is the therapist playing gongs of different sizes and sounds while the client/patient meditates. It soothes the central nervous system. Contemplative therapists and yoga therapists use them. We are vibrational beings and the theory behind this is that parts of our nervous system are vibrating too fast or too slow. Thus the ups and downs.

It has really worked for my family member. There was a huge initial difference which then over the course of several months became lasting change. I think no more medication is the best part.

Quoting liltigersmom:

What is vibration therapy?

Quoting lilangilyn:

I appreciate you posting this. I think some people get bi polar confused with border line personality disorder. Bi polar people have the ability and the desire to live perfectly normal lives. They do not have the same issues as those with personality disorders and can have great jobs, kids and families.


Have you read about the success of this being treated with vibration therapy? I have a family member that this is working so well on that she no longer needs medication. It's so wonderful. You would never know that she has ever been diagnosed bi polar.


rainmommy
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:19 PM


Quoting lilangilyn:

It is the therapist playing gongs of different sizes and sounds while the client/patient meditates. It soothes the central nervous system. Contemplative therapists and yoga therapists use them. We are vibrational beings and the theory behind this is that parts of our nervous system are vibrating too fast or too slow. Thus the ups and downs.

It has really worked for my family member. There was a huge initial difference which then over the course of several months became lasting change. I think no more medication is the best part.

Quoting liltigersmom:

What is vibration therapy?

Quoting lilangilyn:

I appreciate you posting this. I think some people get bi polar confused with border line personality disorder. Bi polar people have the ability and the desire to live perfectly normal lives. They do not have the same issues as those with personality disorders and can have great jobs, kids and families.


Have you read about the success of this being treated with vibration therapy? I have a family member that this is working so well on that she no longer needs medication. It's so wonderful. You would never know that she has ever been diagnosed bi pol


im learned something new.  i never heard of this. thanks for the info i have a med check tuedsay i will bring this up with the dr. even though i only take one med as needed i would love to med free

OregonMom80
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

This.  I mentioned bipolar in regards to my DSS's BM and noted that it was the only thing of the list that I understood wasn't something she can control . . . but she CAN control whether she admits she has an issue and gets help, whether that's medication or something else that works for her.  In our case, several of the women in BM's family had their kids taken away by CPS because they had untreated BPD and self-medicated with drugs/alcohol and exhibited other unstable behaviors.

I have no issue with a parent who has a treated mental or physical illness caring for children.  Bottom line to me is if somebody is doing things that endanger the welfare of their child, I don't care if they have a diagnosed mental or physical illness or not, somebody needs to step in.

To the OP, I think people lead with this in some cases (in mine in particular) not to say that all people who have BPD are bad, but because it does give people who know the diagnostic criteria for BPD a pretty good idea of what kind of behaviors that person is exhibiting.  It also IS an explanation for certain behaviors in people suffering from it as in "This person does these things in part because they're bipolar."  If the behaviors are charateristic of those with bipolar disorder, that isn't a judgment, it's a statement of fact - the person is doing things characteristic of those with BPD because they have BPD.

Alcoholism is also an illness, but if a parent drinks until they pass out when they're solely responsible at the time for a young child, does it matter whether they did it because they're an alcoholic or just irresponsible?  I'd argue no as the effect on the child is still the same.  This doesn't mean the parent is worthless because their an alcoholic.  It means they are engaging in behaviors that are harmful to their child and that need to be corrected if they are going to be parenting.  If they cannot stop engaging in behaviors harmful to their child, then they shouldn't be the custodial parent or possibly even have unsupervised visitation depending on how harmful the behavior is.  I feel this is true regardless of the cause of their behavior.  If people have mental illness and are not engaging in problematic behaviors then they should have the same rights and treatment as people who do not have mental illness.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

 BP is an illness and should be regarded as such.  However, I have yet to hear of a person withndiabetes or other chronic physical illness sufferer going off their meds regularly and abusing their kids...or neglecting them....or engaging in dangerous behvaiors around them...or the ongoing destructive things that happen continually when a bipolar individual is off of their meds.  It is a disease and it is tragic, but the line gets drawn when innocent children suffer because a person with this diagnosis thinks they 'can handle life without their meds.'  This is true of any mental illness - it's the CHOICE to not help themselves and then punish others that frustrates people.  I have no sympathy for that - especially when children suffer as a result.


Ms.Gwen
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Not really. I'm simply pointing out that there is a very fine line between illnesses and capable parenting. Being aware of that reality is not discrimination. Acting or speaking out against an individual without just cause simply because they are a parent with an illness is wrong. Forming an opinion based on statistical fact or personal experience is a freedom we all enjoy.


Quoting neverbeamom:

Uhhhh....

Comparing apples to oranges.

Quoting Ms.Gwen:

How about MS or alzhiemers? Should you be allowed to care for a child if you literally can't lift a finger to help them or can't remember that they even exist?



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