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 I was just thinking...I would love to see what other people have in their CO's! Recently when I took ex back to court to change ours my DH's really came in handy so I could see what I wanted that I may have forgotten! I think if we could combine CO's here all of us would be able to get EXACTLY what we wanted! LOL ok maybe not exactly but still..It would be fun! What do y'all think?

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:06 PM
Replies (11-20):
....ClvrScn.
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:01 AM
Dh and BMW is very basic...

Dad gets SD every weekend, picking her up on Friday ( no time) and returning her on Sunday ( no time)

Mom dad share legal custody

SD goes to school in moms district

Dad does all transportation between parents

Child support amount .... dad claims SD on taxes every year

Rofr ...

They don't follow it tho. We all get along, so I guess the court order is just something to fall back on.. both parents are flexible
alibrezzy154
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Dh co is super vauge it drives me nuts. Dh is suppose to have joint legal coustody. And bm still has yet to inform him who's the kids primary doctor and where or what therapist or councler the kids are going to and where. If at all. Then there is the communication issue between them. Bm is either acting like a complete child and yelling at dh for no reason constantly bringing up the past and keeps getting pissed off cause he's a better person without her or sf try's playing bm. I wish we would have thought of it and asked for all communication to be through email. Less drama and bm bringing the kids into it.
OregonMom80
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Parenting time, holidays, custody, who provides transportation, how parental communication is to happen, both parents have access to all school records & medical records & custodial parent must sign any release required to allow this, who gets tax deduction, life insurance must be maintained equal to child support remaining. This is all standard for OR state though.
Ms.Gwen
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:21 AM
You can see all the COs you could possibly want by going to your local courthouse and digging through the case files. More importantly, you can compare COs that have been signed and approved in your jurisdiction... Allowing you a clear advantage when you want to modify.
I must warn you though... There are thousands of case files to wade through and they read like stereo instructions. This project is not for the feint of heart or easily distracted, lol!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:24 AM

The 2 most important parts:

BM cannot drink/or be on mind altering drugs for the 8 hours preceeding her visitation, during her visitation or anytime while talking on the phone with them.

Visitation is optional.  If they don't want to go, they don't.  If they go and want to come home, they do.

MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:19 AM

Mine with my ex are pretty standard. He gets EOWE, supposed to alternate holidays, summer visitation, etc. We have joint legal. We have never followed CO, we get along for the most part.

My DH and his ex CO are long. We have had to go back to court so they get longer and longer. They have joint legal/physical, visitation is in there,summer visitation, holidays, ROFR, they have to email once a week at a certain time to inform each other of activities, health and all other matters concerning the child, have a GAL that will settle disputes if the two parties can't agree. That's all I can think of right now. It used to be a very volatile situation between the two, but now they don't go by CO, they can usually email each other and work the situation/schedule out however they need to.

Mommy0505
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:35 AM

Each situation is so different that there certainly isn't a "best" option that'll work for everyone.

Based on BM & DH and their issues, their CO needs to be very specific (even down to the time of drop offs and what constitutes as "late").

Mine is vague.  I have primary placement with "reasonable periods of secondary placement" given to BF upon "reasonable notice given" to me.  For a while that meant he didn't see DS for a long time or for specific times because he had better things to do (drink/party). Not my choice, but his. 

Right now it means he gets EOWE and we are working out a summer schedule based on DS needs (traveling baseball/vacations/summer school).  He wants every other week, but that aint happenin, lol.  He wanted that last year also, but it just so happened that after sports and vacations, it was 1 week til school started.  Honesly though, we'll see what this year brings.  I am open to DS having a relationship with BF and encourage it (I have only said no to 1 visitation in the past 9 years and it was after he'd been MIA for 4 months and called out of the blue & wanted him the next day) but DS is at an age where he's becoming more social and he's just not on a 3rd shift schedule so I doubt EOW will work.

mahalalove27
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:50 AM

We don't have a court order technically. We do have a written contract drawn up and done before a lawyer with as many loose ends tied as we possibly could. We share 50/50 phyical custody when my husband is here (he is military) when he is not here, SS visits me on weekends or whatever days work best between his mom and me. My husband pays child supprt and always has even though he relenquished his rrights. Holidays are split as fairly as we can all do it and again it depends on when my husband is here versus being deployed or training. 

MrsJaiClark
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:57 PM

 This is what we are considering when dealing with DH two exes. One in particular harasses us nonstop via text messaging and phoen calls. We are considering email or certified mail with phone call MESSAGES being allowed ONLY in the event of an emergency.

I am loving reading all of these! Keep em coming! The one thing I wish I had specified in my CO was that ex would have to pay half of ALL activities. We only have medical expenses in there. He owes me so much money that he promised yet it is not CO so I cannot do anything about it. Right now he isn't even paying what IS CO. I love the idea of going through other peoples CO's at teh courthouse! If only I had the time! lol

Quoting alibrezzy154:

Dh co is super vauge it drives me nuts. Dh is suppose to have joint legal coustody. And bm still has yet to inform him who's the kids primary doctor and where or what therapist or councler the kids are going to and where. If at all. Then there is the communication issue between them. Bm is either acting like a complete child and yelling at dh for no reason constantly bringing up the past and keeps getting pissed off cause he's a better person without her or sf try's playing bm. I wish we would have thought of it and asked for all communication to be through email. Less drama and bm bringing the kids into it.

 

ROBIN-C
by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:50 PM

 my ex and I dont go by anything our co says. for example i let him have daughter part of EVERY weekend, not eow. i also let him have daughter overnights on wed's. he gets her whenever he wants during school breaks, we just talk and work it out. same for holidays based on when out of town family is here. daughter has her own phone and we can call or text daughter whenever we want when the other parent has her.

it does state that he is suppose to have ins on her but he hasnt in 6 years, nor does he pay hald of Rx's or copays etc.

basically he has a hard time keeping a job so i am lucky that he even pays cs!

also he is on probation which states he is not to drink prior to or while daughter visits him.

now if he were to take me to court, lmao, these are some things i would request:

-half of activities and equipment

-half of school related fees

-half of ins deduction (from my paycheck) and half of all medical expenses

-half of before/after school care and summer care

-he provide daughter her own waredrobe at his place (she takes clothes and leaves them or he asks me to bring a bunch to leave there @@!)

- half of back to school supplies and waredrobe

visitation we dont have a problem with - would be half of all school breaks, one night during week and half of summer

i would like to require regular drug/alcohol testing and continued AA with proof and it would state that all visitation becomes null and void if he is underinfluence while daughter is in his care. it would also state that there be another responcible adult in attendence when he has visitation, at MY approval and that those adults would be responsible to contact me if he is under influence and if they dont could face legal consequences.

 

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