Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have been married to my DH for 5 yrs and been together for 8 yrs. He has an 11 yr old  daughter from a previous relationship that lives 1600 miles away. He has had little to no contact with his DD in the last 11 years because of the BM moving and changing phone numbers. Before April 1st it had been 2 yrs since we've heard from his DD (we hired a PI to find them). When we finally contacted them the BM says that she can no longer handle DD and wants us to take care of her.

Now here is my life style...My DH has been working offshore for the past 2 yrs (28 days on 14 days home) and we have a 2 yr old DS. So I take care of a house (clothing, dishes, cooking, yard work etc), I run a business and I raise my DS by my self. 

Now I have the SD in my possession with no custody papers and no DH to help take care of her. I have no legal rights to SD, so I can't enroll her in school, get her to the dr or make life decisions for her.

Has any one else raised a SD or SS without either BP around?

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:15 PM
Replies (11-20):
kustomkidz
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I did ours myself then got it notorized. Super easy!

Quoting bonusmom04:

This! DH and the state before that gave me power if attorney with DH's consent. You can get it done in one day




Quoting m_ellingson:

As long as your dhs name is on the birth certificate he can sign a power of attorney for you to do things for your step daughter like take her to the dr and enroll her in school. Im a sahm mom so even though my husband is around most nights and weekends I still do the drs and the schools and whatever else moms usually do for their kids and so we have a power of attorney that gives me the right to do that.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
vintagebikegirl
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:50 PM
Hell, I just sign DHs signature when I need to.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RoseBlossom
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:56 PM
1 mom liked this

**Grabs Popcorn**

Quoting AmyB118:

That's nice...do you and OP live in the same school district? Same state? Do your SO's CO and OP's DHs CO read indentically?  Are you an attorney?

My suggestion is that you refrain from giving this lady LEGAL advice when you know ABO.SO.FUCKING.LUTE.LY NADA about her personal situation....

Shouldn't she have the BF call an attorney in their area for guidance?


Quoting emandab:

I registered my step-son (not actually my ss cause his father and I aren't married) for school two years in a row, and the first time we were starting in a different school district. No problems at all.  Talk to the school, surely there is a way around this, maybe phone confirmation with the father and school or something



Bozo75
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:14 AM
Yes. I divorced dh in 2009 and my sd stayed with myself and her siblings (my boi kids). Along with the divorce, I was advised to file for custody (had her alone for a yr before I filed papers), of course with her being okay with it and she was then almost 15 yrs old. Her bm got every other weekend visitation (showed up to court bc her family said she should) and that's when things went downhill. Sd hadn't been around her much before that, so her bm filled her head with shit and made my household a living hell for the next year. I'm in SC and never had a problem enrolling her in school, dentist, doctor, etc. I didn't realize till she went to live with her bm that everyone thought I was her bm (same last name and she never spoke of her bm).
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
emandab
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:20 AM

Woah easy there.  She was in a time crunch concerning school, I wasn't refering to anything else legal wise.  A phone call to the school to find out her options isn't going to hurt anything.  Why the hostility? jeez

Quoting AmyB118:

That's nice...do you and OP live in the same school district? Same state? Do your SO's CO and OP's DHs CO read indentically?  Are you an attorney?

My suggestion is that you refrain from giving this lady LEGAL advice when you know ABO.SO.FUCKING.LUTE.LY NADA about her personal situation....

Shouldn't she have the BF call an attorney in their area for guidance?


Quoting emandab:

I registered my step-son (not actually my ss cause his father and I aren't married) for school two years in a row, and the first time we were starting in a different school district. No problems at all.  Talk to the school, surely there is a way around this, maybe phone confirmation with the father and school or something



AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Time crunch or not, its really up to her DH to fix this.  OP hasn't said if they have Legal Custody or if BM just dropped her off on the door step.

No hostility, just honesty.  Are you interested in your "advice" being the one that got SD sent back to BM or removed from the house?  For instance, DH had custody of OSS when he was 15- released to him from a group home.  He moved in w/us prior to the CO being changed (we were awaiting a court date).  In order to register him in our school district, BM had to sign a piece of paper giving DH "Educational Custody".  BM was fine w/it and did it so no biggy, but if she wouldn't have signed the paper SS would have had to wait until the court date to become registered.

Quoting emandab:

Woah easy there.  She was in a time crunch concerning school, I wasn't refering to anything else legal wise.  A phone call to the school to find out her options isn't going to hurt anything.  Why the hostility? jeez

Quoting AmyB118:

That's nice...do you and OP live in the same school district? Same state? Do your SO's CO and OP's DHs CO read indentically?  Are you an attorney?

My suggestion is that you refrain from giving this lady LEGAL advice when you know ABO.SO.FUCKING.LUTE.LY NADA about her personal situation....

Shouldn't she have the BF call an attorney in their area for guidance?


Quoting emandab:

I registered my step-son (not actually my ss cause his father and I aren't married) for school two years in a row, and the first time we were starting in a different school district. No problems at all.  Talk to the school, surely there is a way around this, maybe phone confirmation with the father and school or something




lilangilyn
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:10 AM

Your husband can fax you a power of attorney from his rig. Or do it when he is on his 14 day home leave. You don't need the mama to help you. With a POA you will be able to do whatever you need for her when he is gone.

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:19 AM
Quoting m_ellingson:

As long as your dhs name is on the birth certificate he can sign a power of attorney for you to do things for your step daughter like take her to the dr and enroll her in school. Im a sahm mom so even though my husband is around most nights and weekends I still do the drs and the schools and whatever else moms usually do for their kids and so we have a power of attorney that gives me the right to do that.




This
bonusmom04
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:37 AM
This.... my DH was on the road.


Quoting lilangilyn:

Your husband can fax you a power of attorney from his rig. Or do it when he is on his 14 day home leave. You don't need the mama to help you. With a POA you will be able to do whatever you need for her when he is gone.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:26 AM

Is no one paying attention to the fact that she states "with no custody papers"?  So that means that my DD13 could effectively run away to her BF's house and his GF just register her in school even tho i have SOLE legal and SOLE physical custody on paper.......interesting.  Then what the hell is a CO for?

Quoting lilangilyn:

Your husband can fax you a power of attorney from his rig. Or do it when he is on his 14 day home leave. You don't need the mama to help you. With a POA you will be able to do whatever you need for her when he is gone.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured