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who gets to be in the picture?

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 3:45 PM
  • 35 Replies

 So really...This is from a co worker who has a SS22 getting married.  She was Custodial SM of him and his sister with two new children added with DH.

There is a wedding coming up in May.  She said today that she just knows that BM is going to request a picture of Son, new Wife, Ex husband (BD) and herself (BM).  She acted like that was a horrible criminal request.

I know they havent seen eye to eye on a lot of stuff. I know she as SM helped raise them. I know BM wasnt always in the picture.

But,even with all that drama, I can understand why that picture shouldnt happen.

What is your experience with Skids and weddings.

 

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 3:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
vintagebikegirl
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 4:38 PM
My dad was an alcoholic (15 years sober now), in and out of my life, I loved him, but my step dad raised me.

I had my stepdad walk me down the isle. I did a father daughter dance with both of them.
I also have a wedding photo with just my dad, just my mom and SF and one with all of them.

You may think dealing with the OP ends when your kids are grown but it doesn't. My parents see each other more NOW than they did when I was a kid. I have ONE birthday party for my kids, they are ALL invited, even my soon to be SM, and they all come and get along.

ETA...I also have a photo with my mom, BF and my sis and I.
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USBrit
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

One of my SD's asked that her Dad and Mom be in the picture with her and her new hubby WITHOUT their respective spouses. I wasn't prepared for that and so it was a bit uncomfortable. I think those things should be discussed in advance with the families so there are no surprises infront of everyone! :(

USBrit
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 4:41 PM
1 mom liked this

I think what you did was very appropriate for everyone! :)

Quoting vintagebikegirl:

My dad was an alcoholic (15 years sober now), in and out of my life, I loved him, but my step dad raised me.

I had my stepdad walk me down the isle. I did a father daughter dance with both of them.
I also have a wedding photo with just my dad, just my mom and SF and one with all of them.

You may think dealing with the OP ends when your kids are grown but it doesn't. My parents see each other more NOW than they did when I was a kid. I have ONE birthday party for my kids, they are ALL invited, even my soon to be SM, and they all come and get along.

ETA...I also have a photo with my mom, BF and my sis and I.


angelmommy2806
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 5:56 PM
When I married my ex and his parents were divorced we did separate family pictures. My ex mil Hated her ex and we wouldn't do that to them.

I think if the bio parent's are OK with it that's one thing. If they despise eachother that's unfair.
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zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:01 PM
Lol sorry I am laughing because my mil requested the same picture and they have grown kids and have been divorced for ten years and fil is still remarried! Just make sure she speaks up NOW about her expectations that she will have one with her dh ss and new dil! Speak now or forever hold your peace....just tell her she is lucky she was invited...I was not allowed to invite my dh' sm....so sad
4and1mom
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:04 PM
2 moms liked this

This is my daughter with both her bf and sf. She is closer to my dh but didn't want to hurt her bf. It turned out great.
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raerae725
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:06 PM
dhs SM threw a fantastic fit at our wedding over this. His parents have been divorced for 20 years and there were many women between then and now. I couldn't believe it.
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dee06
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Shouldn't it be up to the son that is getting married to decide who gets to be in his pictures? 

mirm99
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:10 PM
I think that whatever ss wants is what should be done.... its his big day..this isn't about BM or SM... its not like his asking them to hold hands and hug each other!.. they can easily stand on opposite sides of the pic and tada its done!... thats what my brother did on his wedding day... he wanted a pic of himself and his parents... so my mom stood on one side and my dad on the other side and my brother was in the middle... its not the children's fault their parents are divorced..
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wife_to_eric
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:15 PM
2 moms liked this
SD9 has already informed us that there will be 1 with BM and DH, 1 with DH and me, and 1 with BM and SF..........
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