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It hit the fan continued.....

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:17 PM
  • 22 Replies
Last week I posted about SD lying about being mistreated and telling us she wants to go live with BM. Today is SD birthday and we had her party on Saturday. Everything was already planned before we had the big blow up. Needless to say, I was less than excited to throw this big party after everything SD had said about me and to me. I had made a real effort to make sure each of her gifts were special and meaningful, I had also ordered an awesome birthday cake that cost $120 .
I was not surprised when SD acted ungrateful at the party, but other people were. She never said thank you to anyone and had no reaction when opening her gifts. My sister overheard her saying I got white cake instead of red velvet because I don't care what she likes. OMG no, it was going to be $30 more if I got red velvet and DH was already pissed that I was getting such an expensive cake. We got her a new iPod with her name engraved on the back and she was like..."that's pointless, it's so small you can barely read it." To top it all off her mom got her two pigs for her birthday and she has acted like it was the most perfect gift in the world. We never knew she was into farm animals!
Again, I knew better than to expect her to be appreciative, but it was really embarrassing the way she acted. I'm so ready for her to go get a great big taste of what goes on at BM's. SS told me this weekend he really missed my food, I cook dinner every night and he said his mom would just say fend for yourself. He also told me she left him alone all the time and would say she couldn't stand being stuck home with him.
DH has plans to take SD out to dinner tonight, just her and him, and he's going to give her a promise ring. I hope she doesn't treat him like crap, he is trying so hard to show her love despite all her lies. I just can't bend over backwards for her anymore, it always gets me hurt.
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:20 PM

Dad is giving her a promise ring? that's kind of ... weird, sorry. how old is she?

I have never heard of a parent giving a child a promise ring. I thought it was for boyfriends and girlfriends.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:22 PM

You know, children are not born knowing how to behave. It's their parents job to teach them manners. Instead of hoping she shows appreciation and getting all butt hurt when she doesn't, and buying her rings, maybe you and her father should focus on being stronger, more effective parents, and try to change  her behavior.

Just a thought.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Why is dad giving her a promise ring?  That's a little strange.

What's the promise for?  Ignoring her bad behavor and just letting her do whatevs?

theshanster17
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:29 PM
BM gave SS a promise ring when he was 10...and she had him wear it as a necklace close to his heart. I thought it was kinda weird but since I don't have a son, I thought it was just me. It's like an abstinence ring I guess?


Quoting whatIknownow:

Dad is giving her a promise ring? that's kind of ... weird, sorry. how old is she?

I have never heard of a parent giving a child a promise ring. I thought it was for boyfriends and girlfriends.


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Ebfam
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:34 PM
Don't bend over backwards for her.....she needs to see u 4 u not what u buy 4 her.
bcauseimthemom
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:37 PM
3 moms liked this

 I say encourage her to go stay with the BM.

saramom7
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting whatIknownow:

You know, children are not born knowing how to behave. It's their parents job to teach them manners. Instead of hoping she shows appreciation and getting all butt hurt when she doesn't, and buying her rings, maybe you and her father should focus on being stronger, more effective parents, and try to change  her behavior.

Just a thought.



My husband and I are very focused on being strong, effective parents. We have done everything we know to get SD the help she needs, we have also taught all of our children the proper way to behave. I'm sure we aren't the only parents who have taught their kids something only to have them do the exact opposite.
saramom7
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:51 PM
Quoting whatIknownow:

Dad is giving her a promise ring? that's kind of ... weird, sorry. how old is she?

I have never heard of a parent giving a child a promise ring. I thought it was for boyfriends and girlfriends.




It's a promise ring fathers give their daughters. It's also called a purity ring, the "promise" is they will save themselves until marriage. This is something DH has discussed with SD and she let him know it's something she wants to do.
saramom7
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:53 PM
Quoting Ebfam:

Don't bend over backwards for her.....she needs to see u 4 u not what u buy 4 her.



I know, I felt like a fool at the party, everything was already bought and planned, we really didn't know what to do other than carry on with the party.
saramom7
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 6:56 PM
Quoting bcauseimthemom:

 I say encourage her to go stay with the BM.




I am, I spent the whole day thinking about it. After the big blow up I told her I was done, and I thought her moving in with BM was the best thing. I'm standing my ground, DH is still on the fence and that makes things difficult.
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