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When they move out - things are supposed to get better

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I'm pretty damn frustrated. My SS is getting married in less than 4 weeks to an insane person! My husband can't stand her - I used to defend her but I now see that he was right. Wedding invitations went out and only her parents are on it - I'm not saying I needed to be on it specifically but we did contribute to wedding not 50/50 but a large amount. She also asked me to throw her a shower so my family could go becuase they weren't invited to her actual shower! - I told her no. Seating is arranged - I inquired about my family and how they were seated and she started freaking out that it's been done for months - RSVPs were due yesterday.... I told her that I'm not trying to create extra work but I want my fam to be comfortable too. She had my dad (my parents are divorced) sitting with my mom's mom and sister! And she told me that he cannot bring a date??? She had me sitting with my hubby's family (hubby is best man), his family is not really speaking to him. I told my dad not to come since wedding is on a friday and he was having a hard time getting out of work. Told her that I would be uncomfortable sitting with inlaws and that my family and I could fit at 2 tables (I don't care bout location of tables).  I have been feeling for months now that she has it out for me but didn't want to say anything until the other day when my husband said the same thing. Turns out he said something to SS about it as well and SS admitted that he MAY (LOL - MAY?) .. have said things in the past about me that weren't exactly true when he was upset about stuff and that now he has tried to defend me - that he also now appreciates all that I used to do - especially now that he's been on his own for 2 months but she still seems to be on a rampage.

Personally, I think SS needs to come completely clean with her but in reality, she's known me for nearly 4 years - we've spent quite a bit of time together and I've NEVER been rude or out of line. I really do try to always do the right thing, even when I don't necessarily want to. I want my husband to have a good relationship with SS and I care about SS. I'm not perfect - no one is but I gave up a lot to help my husband raise his son who lived with us (we have been together for almost 9 years SS was 15 at the time) BM is a hot mess and wasn't involved during the growing up part but is now a part of his life - which is fine with me.  The crazy thing is that SS has mentioned on several occasions to his dad that he and Crazy Girl don't really get along and that she doesn't help with things.... he doesn't seem happy. Dad tells him that it's his life and it's a big decision and that he needs to be sure of what he wants - that we support his decisions regardless. Unfortunately, I think he's in too deep to call off wedding. They don't live together yet because of her parents and religious beliefs so there will be a huge transition still.  I am trying to be hopeful that she'll grow up and get over it - but I am starting to think she's just nuts. I just want SS to be happy and it seems impossible right now.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Replies (11-12):
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:00 AM

Quoting whatIknownow:

Weddings seem to bring out the worst in people.

you know what sucks.... before they got engaged (2yrs ago) - I really adored her. I am just praying that the crazy train stops after the wedding and am praying that she hasn't burned so many bridges that she has none left to cross.  The whole thing is just sad. My wedding wasn't like this - but then I was in my early 30's and I'm not a materialistic person, we paid for a lot of our wedding oursleves and it was really elegant but simple. This thing has just gotten out of control.

by on May. 2, 2012 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Planning a wedding a can be super stressful.  There may be other people pressuring her or doing things to make it difficult and she snapped and took it out on you.  If you really think she's a problem, DH could say something.  I was engaged once before and my dad at one point just said, "You don't seem very happy.  If you want to marry him, I'll support you and be there to walk you down the aisle, but as embarrassing or hard or whatever you might think it would be to cancel a wedding, it will be a million times worse to get divorced . . . or stay married and be miserable your whole life."  Sadly, one of my main concerns was "what will everyone think?"  Turned out not to be a big deal - pretty much everyone thought I'd finally come to my senses!    He wasn't a bad guy, we just weren't good together.

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