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BM Is at it again..

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:55 PM
  • 16 Replies

I have posted previously about the issue with my boyfriends BM. I wont get into it again but she is psychotic. Harassing, manipulative, verbally abusive and that's just a few words to describe her.

The child in this situation is 2, the BM was a one night stand right before my bf and I got together ( We have known each other for over 13 years) We have been together for almost 3 years now, and he didn't know about the child till he was 6 months old and she got him for back child support and whatnot. So I have had conversations with the woman in the past because she can not refrain from having contact with me telling me how I ruined her life, and she hates me and I"ll have nothing to do with the child.

Anyway. I have spoken to BM on several occasions and we have talked about our relationship, and what I am about, what my history with children is. I have spent a ton of time with children and I am 100% involved in this child's life and want what is best for him.

She has told me in the past that she is content with our relationship and that I have answered all her questions and she feels great with leaving her child in my and the child's fathers care. Now 2 years later she doesn't feel comfortable and wants to have a meeting. I told her to have a 3rd party mediator from the court be appointed and we can sit down and have whatever meeting she wants so it's all on paper and noted so in the future that she can't go back and say anything bad about me and she refused. Said she is going to have a paper written up that the child can not be around me during the visitation.

What do I do?

by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Get an attorney.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:09 PM

I don't know the first thing about going to get an attorney. Being a live in gf with my bf and his family, ( moved 1200 miles to a new state) what kind of attorney should I look for?

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:10 PM
I would think she'd have to prove you are a danger to him.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:20 PM
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yeah my DH exwife tried that too and the judge laughed at her.  She filed papers and the judge asked her for what reason and she said because she was catholic and I should not be spending the night at the house while the kids were there and my husbands lawyer said... excuse me but didn't you have a child out of wedlock and didn't your ex husband adopt your child because you didn;t know who the father was and didn't you and your ex husband live together for 7 years before you were married and was helping to raise your child?  Then she said I was danger because I was Orthodox and her children were Catholic. Judge laughed at that, then she tried to say I was unfit because the kids didn;t like me.. Judge interviewed both the children and they both said they liked me.  Just tell her to try it and than laugh because no Lawyer will take the case. 

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:27 PM
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Thank you for this, because she is catholic and she had a child with my bf in a one night stand. I am undenominational. She always uses the religion card. I guess I will just have to sit and wait this one out and see if she does try to bring something to the court. Just like you she doesn't have any reason to hate me besides the fact that I am happy and with the child's father.

Thank you again. =)

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:45 PM
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 ya, good luck getting a court order to keep you away from the child.... specially as youve been around the last two years..... shed have to have a damn good reason...


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by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:52 PM
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She'd have to have a very good reason. Dh's ex didn't want me around either but we were married and the judge said if Dh trusted me that was enough.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:18 PM

Hmm.  Are you married?  I don't know that you have much say if you are just the GF right now.  She just sounds pathetic!

by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:24 PM

We are pretty much married, engaged if you want to say it like that. We live together, work in a family business together and do everything together. We just don't have it on paper. We don't want to rush into anything like that, we feel that it really isn't necessary to be married. Maybe sometime in the future, but we share everything.

by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:30 PM

As long as there is not a CO stating that a member of the opposite sex that is not married cannot stay the night (aka the 'morality clause') there is nothing that she can do.  She can file anything with the courts, she has to prove that you are a danger to the child's wellbeing in order for a CO to be done.

Eh, stop chatting with her, let BF/DF do it and live your life with your family. 

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