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An affair and 5 children...

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:42 PM
  • 26 Replies

     I have no idea what I am am doing. I had a bad marriage for several years and never thought I would want anyone else in my life because of this. But...because of the marriage going south I worked long hours and pulled doubles almost everyday not for money but an escape from my husband and his cheating and cold ways. During this time I became friends with my co-workers making it feel like a family, I met a great guy named Robert who made me laugh which I hadn't done in years.

     Robert and I quickly became friends and purposely worked together because we enjoyed each others company, he also had a bad relationship in his marriage. Before I knew what was happening I had developed feelings for him, it scared me how quickly it happened. Although I knew it was wrong I kept spending time with him. We eventually admitted our feeling toward each other, yes he felt the same. I went to my husband and told him my feelings, He did not deal with it well at all even though he had cheated on me several times during our marriage. I decided to end our marriage, not just because of Robert but because my husband and I should not have been married in the first place.

     I have a son from a relationship before who is very sweet and loving. Robert and I decided they would meet for the first time. They hit it off from the get go, which meant so much to me. I in turn met three of his four children, they were all so sweet and timid, but i fell in love with those little faces. The problem was, he was still married. I know how horrible it sounds, believe me, I was the wife before i was the other woman. after much drama and Robert having to follow his wife to TN to be with his children they decided to split. She knows about me and although I am sure she doesnt care for me I want her to know i care for the kids very much and dont want to take her place. I would love to ask her advice on things wiht them, I am sure that she would like the idea of me struggling with the kids but i want us to be one big family, not one that is torn. How do I go about talking to her and asking her to write a list on concerns she may have with me? i would like for us to work as a team on raising the children.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CoochieLibre
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:44 PM

Good luck. Being a SM is hard enough without being the other woman. Hopefully after some time she can come to forgive you and Robert, but I doubt that will be soon.

Cristina1131
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:47 PM

     I agree, because that is what happened to me as coincidence would happen. My sons stepmom was the other woman and we had a very hateful relationship. I tried very hard to make things work for us but at the end she was still mean to my son. That is the exact reason I would like to talk to the four little ones mother so that she knows I am prepared to work with her wants and needs when it comes to raising the children.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:52 PM

You met his kids while he was married????? Who the hell did they think you were???

lisa3434
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Cant change the way it all began so go forward and always try to come from a place of love in all your decisions.
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ameliacaldeira
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:56 PM

tell her or rather have robert ask her : would you like to send me a list of rules or suggestions? (example) like how you get the kids to bed on saterday nights or what schedule they have for homework?

if she thinks you two are looking for the way SHE does things she might be more willing to say something now rather than wait til it bothers her that homework was after dinner not before etc

ameliacaldeira
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this

i believe she said 'married but seperated'

i was married for years during a seperation and divorce procedings, that doesnt mean i had to live in a box waiting for paper

Quoting WifeyC:

You met his kids while he was married????? Who the hell did they think you were???


feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Not a big fan of this post already
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angelmommy2806
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Considering your the other woman don't Expect Bm to give you Any advice. You'll just have to ask your bf for help, they are his kids.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:02 PM

No, that's not what she said.  She said he was in a bad marriage and then him and his wife moved to TN before they split up.

Quoting ameliacaldeira:

i believe she said 'married but seperated'

i was married for years during a seperation and divorce procedings, that doesnt mean i had to live in a box waiting for paper

Quoting WifeyC:

You met his kids while he was married????? Who the hell did they think you were???

 


QueenBof6
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this
You should talk to your man about it. Don't even bother contacting her.
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