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What would your advice be on this...

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:22 PM
  • 24 Replies
Df has just got a job back in his home town, so we are moving there. We would be getting the kids eow now and bc he will be working 2nd I will be responsible for picking the kids up on Fridays. I have no problem w it but am a little anxious about dealing w bm.

I asked df IF it became something I wasnt comfortable with if he would be ok getting them Saturday mornings. He of course said that would be fine BUT I would feel kinda bad bc then thats taking time away from him and them. Not a lot but still every little bit counts when you dont see your kids every day, kwim?! So anyway what would be your advice or input on this? Thanks in advance!
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
packermomof2
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:26 PM

What if mom is uncomfortable with you picking up the kids?  Is it only your comfort that would matter or if she wasn't comfortable with you doing it and you were would dad be fine with 1) her dropping them off  2) picking them up after he is done with work or 3) getting them Saturday morning?

ROBIN-C
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:27 PM

 has BM made any kind of remarks that have lead you to believe she isnt comfortable with you picking the kids up instead of dh? does she know that you will be getting them? first i would have dh discuss with his ex to make sure she is aware and if she is ok with it then i dont see why there would be a problem.

hwo old are the kids? old enough to where you can just stay in the car and they can come out and you dont have to have any conversations with their mom? if so that is how i would do it. communication should be between the parents unless BM and you are comfortable with each other.

newmami10
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:33 PM
She doesn't care if I do right now. She wouldnt drop them off bc its a 2hr drive and shes not willing to drive it. Df wouldnt get off till 11, so it would be kinda late. I guess he could do that? I just wanna make it a smooth and easy kinda thing tho. I dont want there to be issues w it but its hard to say there wont ever be any.

Quoting packermomof2:

What if mom is uncomfortable with you picking up the kids?  Is it only your comfort that would matter or if she wasn't comfortable with you doing it and you were would dad be fine with 1) her dropping them off  2) picking them up after he is done with work or 3) getting them Saturday morning?

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newmami10
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:37 PM
They have talked about it and at this time she is fine w it. There have been issues in the past that make me anxious about it.

Braden is 7(in June) Kalsee is 5. They could easily come out on their own but she wouldnt let that happen.


Quoting ROBIN-C:

 has BM made any kind of remarks that have lead you to believe she isnt comfortable with you picking the kids up instead of dh? does she know that you will be getting them? first i would have dh discuss with his ex to make sure she is aware and if she is ok with it then i dont see why there would be a problem.


hwo old are the kids? old enough to where you can just stay in the car and they can come out and you dont have to have any conversations with their mom? if so that is how i would do it. communication should be between the parents unless BM and you are comfortable with each other.

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newmami10
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Bump
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ROBIN-C
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:00 PM

 why are you driving 2 hours? does she come get them? why not meet half way?

Quoting newmami10:

She doesn't care if I do right now. She wouldnt drop them off bc its a 2hr drive and shes not willing to drive it. Df wouldnt get off till 11, so it would be kinda late. I guess he could do that? I just wanna make it a smooth and easy kinda thing tho. I dont want there to be issues w it but its hard to say there wont ever be any.

Quoting packermomof2:

What if mom is uncomfortable with you picking up the kids?  Is it only your comfort that would matter or if she wasn't comfortable with you doing it and you were would dad be fine with 1) her dropping them off  2) picking them up after he is done with work or 3) getting them Saturday morning?

 

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 1, 2012 at 9:13 PM
I think since df am BM discussed that its fine,I'd be okay(but uncomfortable just bc,lol) with it. My skids are 12&16 and I dislike dropping them off at bm's and waiting there sometimes.lol.

How are you planning to tell BM when you are arriving? Will kids be ready outside?will you knock?will you txt BM And say I'm Here? Or will your df if he can via work txt BM? Just wondering:)

I think I usually txt BM after she had txt me that skids were arriving. Or I text BM,hi,I'm leaving the house to pick up the Kids:) thanks.
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 1, 2012 at 9:14 PM
Df used to drive 2 hours to see kids when he lived in the other town. I think I gathered:)

Quoting ROBIN-C:

 why are you driving 2 hours? does she come get them? why not meet half way?


Quoting newmami10:

She doesn't care if I do right now. She wouldnt drop them off bc its a 2hr drive and shes not willing to drive it. Df wouldnt get off till 11, so it would be kinda late. I guess he could do that? I just wanna make it a smooth and easy kinda thing tho. I dont want there to be issues w it but its hard to say there wont ever be any.


Quoting packermomof2:


What if mom is uncomfortable with you picking up the kids?  Is it only your comfort that would matter or if she wasn't comfortable with you doing it and you were would dad be fine with 1) her dropping them off  2) picking them up after he is done with work or 3) getting them Saturday morning?


 

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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 1, 2012 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Tbh,with me,I've known BM now 4.5 years and it's still uncomfortable. Lol. We aren't enemies but we aren't friends either. Lol. It's always better to smile and just say hi,I'm here for the kids:) and say thanks or bye when you leave.
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luckystars2012
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting packermomof2:

What if mom is uncomfortable with you picking up the kids?  Is it only your comfort that would matter or if she wasn't comfortable with you doing it and you were would dad be fine with 1) her dropping them off  2) picking them up after he is done with work or 3) getting them Saturday morning?


Why do you have to turn every damn post into something negative about the sm?

If BM was uncomfortable with SM picking them up, then obviously she can talk to BF about it, but thats neither here nor there, as that issue hasnt arisen yet.

OP never said she "didnt care" about BMs comfort, its just not the topic of this post, and if you would pull that giant stick out fo your behind you might see that every SM is not out to "get" their SKs bm.

 

OP- I would give it a try, if it becomes stressful or uncomfortable, then just hand the reins over to your hubby.  no harm done.  If that ends up happening, maybe dad can pick them up a little earlier on saturday mornings? 

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