Posted by
on May. 1, 2012 at 8:29 PM
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by
on May. 1, 2012 at 8:42 PM
I am married to a tenderhearted loving man. He has three grown children who manipulate, control to the point that it is abuse.Right now one of his daughters has disowned him for a seemingly small reason. She will not return his calls nor letters of kiitndness. Even though she has done this before her anger is becomming more abusive and painful and is adversely effecting the whole family please any advise would be appreciated..
by
Silver Member
on May. 1, 2012 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry- a super serious disadvantage to being married to a super great guy that has kids is that the ex wife that raised them was probably a terrible person- or else they wouldn't be divorced. It has been my experience that sometimes the step children take more after the person who has raised them- it's extremely difficult. I am married to a man with two grown sd's and since they are grown i feel as if there are three BMs instead of just one. It's awful. We are crazy about each other and it's worth it but it has been a struggle. Good luck with everything.
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by
Bronze Member
on May. 1, 2012 at 11:45 PM
If she's refusing contact, how is she being abusive ?
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by
The Queen
on May. 1, 2012 at 11:55 PM
Quoting looneytunes290:
I'm sorry- a super serious disadvantage to being married to a super great guy that has kids is that the ex wife that raised them was probably a terrible person- or else they wouldn't be divorced.
One person's idea of a terrible person can be another's idea of a good person. I don't talk to my mother very much at all. She asked me to go to her wedding. I will not go. She leaves rude voicemails, is territorial when I do bother to talk to her (as in she says she loves me more than anyone else and no one else can say that because she had me before my husband and my kids did... she told me that last week when I thought there was an emergency because she called me 5 times in a row after 9 pm and I decided to answer my phone...)...
Anyway... as I said, I pretty much don't talk to her. And I don't even know the name of my soon to be "stepfather". I won't meet this one just like I tried to avoid meeting the last one (just two years ago). See, she thinks that bringing a registered sex offender into my home and around my children without telling me he is a registered sex offender is "no big deal" and I'm wrong and should just get over it. I am over it. I want very little to do with her because ofi t, but I'm not angry about it anymore. Just like I'm not angry that she walked in on someone molesting me and stayed with him, having two more kids.
That incident, coupled with the sex offender in my home and around my kids show me she cares about herself only. I don't know what she's told the new guy about me even though she knows my reasons. He may think I'm a terrible person for not talking to my mother except on the rare occasion that she calls so often I think someone died and I just have to know right that minute.
by
Gold Member
on May. 1, 2012 at 11:59 PM
I read somewhere that parents are far more likely to have a distant relationship with their non-custodial children when they come adults. They are adults, your husband needs to let it go, if she comes back, he can welcome her back but otherwise, he has to let her go and live his life, he cannot control her actions.
Quoting madlove162:I am married to a tenderhearted loving man. He has three grown children who manipulate, control to the point that it is abuse.Right now one of his daughters has disowned him for a seemingly small reason. She will not return his calls nor letters of kiitndness. Even though she has done this before her anger is becomming more abusive and painful and is adversely effecting the whole family please any advise would be appreciated..
by
Silver Member
on May. 2, 2012 at 12:03 AM
Actually packet the bm that I deal with and you have a lot in common- my heart breaks for you guys. I can't even muster anger knowing the kind of hell that you have been through- just like she has. I hope that you will do better than she has- and get some help- it isn't weakness in admitting that you have had some serious dysfunction in your life- and finding someone that can help you get to a place of peace. The bm in our situation has raised her daughters with all the bitterness that she has carried for all those years- and now they all need serious help. Get it now before damage is done.
Quoting packermomof2:
Quoting looneytunes290:
I'm sorry- a super serious disadvantage to being married to a super great guy that has kids is that the ex wife that raised them was probably a terrible person- or else they wouldn't be divorced.One person's idea of a terrible person can be another's idea of a good person. I don't talk to my mother very much at all. She asked me to go to her wedding. I will not go. She leaves rude voicemails, is territorial when I do bother to talk to her (as in she says she loves me more than anyone else and no one else can say that because she had me before my husband and my kids did... she told me that last week when I thought there was an emergency because she called me 5 times in a row after 9 pm and I decided to answer my phone...)...Anyway... as I said, I pretty much don't talk to her. And I don't even know the name of my soon to be "stepfather". I won't meet this one just like I tried to avoid meeting the last one (just two years ago). See, she thinks that bringing a registered sex offender into my home and around my children without telling me he is a registered sex offender is "no big deal" and I'm wrong and should just get over it. I am over it. I want very little to do with her because ofi t, but I'm not angry about it anymore. Just like I'm not angry that she walked in on someone molesting me and stayed with him, having two more kids.That incident, coupled with the sex offender in my home and around my kids show me she cares about herself only. I don't know what she's told the new guy about me even though she knows my reasons. He may think I'm a terrible person for not talking to my mother except on the rare occasion that she calls so often I think someone died and I just have to know right that minute.
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by
The Queen
on May. 2, 2012 at 12:07 AM
Quoting looneytunes290:
Actually packet the bm that I deal with and you have a lot in common- my heart breaks for you guys. I can't even muster anger knowing the kind of hell that you have been through- just like she has. I hope that you will do better than she has- and get some help- it isn't weakness in admitting that you have had some serious dysfunction in your life- and finding someone that can help you get to a place of peace. The bm in our situation has raised her daughters with all the bitterness that she has carried for all those years- and now they all need serious help. Get it now before damage is done.
This answer makes no sense and has nothing to do with what I wrote.
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Would you be insulted? And a second question...
- madlove162
on May. 1, 2012 at 8:29 PM