Do ur SKids refer to you as... First name, Mommy, or something else...?
Well, DHs mom loved the time with them of course. She had dresses for them (their mom always has them in jeans, sneakers etc) & I did their hair so it would stay loose, natural. (Their mom doesn't leave their hair out either.)
Anyway, MIL asked if they said thank you to me for doing their hair. So they said "Thank You, Grace". MIL said "I don't think I like you calling Grace that. She's more than Grace" one right away said "we can call her mommy or mommy grace!" but the other right away said "mommy said we can't call her that". MIL replied "tell mommy I said it's ok, you can call her mommy grace" but the little one repeated "mommy said we can't" while the other insisted "we can when we're with her".
These little girls are smart. They have shown everything their mother tells them by their behavior with us on weekends. For a while, the one repeating "mommy said we can't" kept giving a hard time and acting out. I assumed it was the mother saying things. Now I hear her say that and it all made sense.
Anyway, DH been said the girls shouldn't call me by first name anymore. They were fine with "mommy grace" for one weekend or two. After that we noticed it stopped and the acting out started. One almost asked permission to call me mommy by asking me what do I call my mom. I guess she feels and knows I love her like a mom loves.
I don't want them being confused. They hear my 3 calling me mommy. Sometimes it slips out with SDs. One corrects herself, the other doesn't I guess she waits to see if I correct her, but I don't. My kids started calling DH Papi years ago after I talked to him and told him they said he was their dad to their friends/classmates. That was before we were married. I knew they looked at him as their father because he's been in their lives consistently for so long.
Anyway, SDs have seen their mother off and on w/a BF while I've been consistent in their father's life and am going to be there no matter what.
I've never forced them to call me anything other than what they're comfortable with even when DH was suggesting Mommy Grace. But to hear that they're being told not to even if they wanted to makes me think they can be confused.
I always emphasize to DH that I don't need or want to replace their mom. They live with her and she does all the Dr appts, etc. But I do deserve respect which I struggled with for a while with one. But after talking to a friend, I learned I have to keep doing my part and let them see that whatever their mother may be feeding them about me isn't true. We have never even met so Lord only knows what she assumes.
Anyway, do your SKids call you by your first name, Mommy, or something else?
If they call you by first name only, are they respectful at least?
When did they start calling you Mommy- if they do?
How does BM feel about it?