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Has BM/SM ever been "real" with you?

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:07 PM
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Have you ever been in a situation where BM/SM has let their guard down and actually talked to you like one of her friends? Has she ever let her walls down, even for a little bit?

I know in my sitch BM and I get along well because we both always have our guard up and on our best behavior. We are civil and can talk about SD, or easy stuff like books or movies.

When SD was getting a psychiatric eval and admission to the hospital, we (DH,BM and I) were forced together in a room for about 5 hours. DH and BM had taken SD together but called me to come up. I even stopped and got us all dinner.
During those 5 hours BM was totally "real". No fakeness no walls. She talked to DH and I like we were friends. We talked about lots things and got to "know" each other. We even swapped birth story's and it was nice to hear about SDs birth from her POV. She was also pretty funny.

We all went back to being on guard the moment we left the hospital, but is was nice seeing a glimps of the "real her".
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:07 PM
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:13 PM
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Yes, and I thought it would make things smoother, but once the situation was over, her other personality took over & we were right back to square one!!!!!
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:22 PM
BM tried once but it was just a ploy to pit me against dh. I was almost taken in by her near human like qualities.
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:32 PM

When DH and I first met BM pretened to be "real" with me, I actually thought we were good friends and life was going to be all sunshine and rainbows :D, turned out it was all a lie and she just wanted to get back with DH. She took everything I shared with her twisted it and tried to use it against me, good thing I was very open about who I was so everybody that mattered alreadyknew my dirt and knew what she was saying was twisted . Never again will I let BM in, I have forgiven her for the most part for the things she has done but I wont ever forget.

by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:36 PM
I don't know that there is a 'real' side to BM behind all the lies. We've been friendly before but thats only when BM thinks it will get her something.
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:49 PM

She's always very real, all the time. Does she talk to me like a friend, 99% of the time no, but she is always very honest about everything, even if 90% of the time its not something nice.

by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:53 PM
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yep over the summer when things were getting "hot and heavy" with her latest man-Big Man. She "confessed" how she made a mistake breaking her marriage vows to Dh and she didn't want to make those mistakes again. blah blah

It was a nice 3h chat we had. To this day DH still doesn't know what we were discussing and neither of him will tell him. Because he'll have a shit fit knowing her and I talked on the phone without him being there. (he doesn't believe bm's and sm's can co-exist)

by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Nope, she is fake as it gets.
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:58 PM

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:08 PM
I am this way with my kids sm- I think she would say the same. We would be good friends under different circumstances- actually after my first husband and I divorced I became friends with the woman before me- who knew the woman before her- lol and guess what out of all my ex's crappy qualities one really great quality that he has is choosing really great people to be in relationships with. It kinda takes a really nice person to be around him- he's pretty selfish an always looking for unselfish, supportive types. Anyway- she's great and I'm glad he is with her for me- but I still kinda feel sorry for her.
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by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 11:14 PM

Similar experience actually. BM and I took my SD to her psych eveluation just the two of us with SD, we spent the whole day there and talked about lots of things going on in or lives, I would say we "bonded" a little and had a good time.

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