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something that you dont agree with?

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 is there something that your ex does that you dont agree with?

something that BM does that your s/o doesnt agree with?

I am talking about extra activities (too many, or something you dont approve of) or taking child to church, what child wears... not talking about nit-picking or parenting styles.

if so how do you handle it?

 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:47 PM
Replies (11-20):
angelmommy2806
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:47 AM
DH disagrees with a lot that Bm does. No conversation with her is civil so he only texts. She then accuses him of not keeping communication open because he refuses to fight with her. Recently he told her its E-mail or text only cause that's what the lawyer and police suggest is best. She text him back saying that her box was full so sending anything else would be pointless.
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Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2012 at 8:12 AM


Quoting ROBIN-C:

 is there something that your ex does that you dont agree with? yep he's still breathing

something that BM does that your s/o doesnt agree with? the only thing he doesn't agree with is how BM pushes her kids off onto other ppl ( not that I care-more time for us!) so she can have "quality time" with her skids. Or the time she made SD11 and SS5 sleep over her ex's house for a week so she could babysit her niece/nephew while her sister was away.

The only other thing that bugged us was BM would allow SD11 to dress however she wanted. SS11 isn't very tall-but she's super skinny mini-tiny boned little girl-so she'd wear her clothes super small/tight.
Like her leggings would be so tight-if she bent over-you could see her underwear showing thru.

She would also wear tight too small all white panties when she wore dresses/skirts-and would lay/sit on the floor with her legs splayed out-esp in front of her grandfathers/uncles.

Finally DH snapped on BM after so long because he was fed up with the young men/boys always staring at her in sexual ways. so now between her and I-WE get to pick and choose SD11 clothing :) And yes it's age appropriate and it COVERS.

the other fight is bathing suits-bm lets her wear whatever she wants-we make her wear a 1piece or a tankini shorts set


I am talking about extra activities (too many, or something you dont approve of) or taking child to church, what child wears... not talking about nit-picking or parenting styles.

if so how do you handle it?

 


colema11
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 9:10 AM

Probably the big thing that doesn't fall under parenting is giving SSs soda.  It may seem like nit-picking, but OSS has ADHD and is on medication, sugar and caffeine throw off his meds and make it harder for him to manage his own behavior.  YSS was 40lbs overweight when he came to live with us and we are trying to keep his weight stable until his height catches up.  BM says that she only allows them one 20oz soda a day, but they are sucking down soda at every EC we see them at on her weekends. We only allow soda at special events like b-day parties/ holidays and then they only get one with their meal.

lilangilyn
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:21 AM

Yes, there are things. My DH feels I should be more upfront with my adult children. I know my children intimately and know this won't work. Subtle works best with my kids. Subtle and kind. So I smile at DH when he tells me this, and I continue to do things my way.

I feel in DH's case that he needs to not negotiate with his child. Really, I just hate to hear it and it makes me cringe. However, he has said he knows what works best with his kid, so the negotiation goes on.

We have mutual respect in these areas.

rwblake2011
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Bm tends to intraoduce her kids to many many men. Shes co supervised visitation with NO one else allowed that isn't CPS approved (she has felony child neglect and extreme bodily harm to an infant) and turns around and bring last bf with her to visitation. When dh asked her not to introduce dsd to any men she hasnt been with more than 6 months. Bm proceeded to say she didnt introduce them. All she said is dsd this is mommys friend. Is that NOT introducing them?
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newwife1
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:23 AM

My DH would like SS to have some limits on his video game playing, the kid plays those violent murder type games every waking moment. BM just allows him to sit there and play every minute.

DH encourages SS to join EC's and begged him to play baseball or something but SS refuses.

MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on May. 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM

We are not as strict as BM, BM even threw a fit one time about a pair of underwear the SD wore from our house to her house. My DH is very particular in what a little girl should and shouldn't wear and he didn't have a problem with them when I showed him what they were. It was ridiculous! He told SD that she could wear them at our house but not over to BM. SD asked why, DH told her so that BM won't gripe. SD was ok with that. (My guess is that BM didn't like that they weren't regular panties and weren't all one color- they were boy shorts and had stars on them.)

BM also won't agree with anything (EC) that costs money- or if she has to pay more than $20. It's not that she doesn't want SD not to do the activity, she just doesn't want to pay for it. We end up paying for it.

CherryBlossom4
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:47 PM

No. But we aren't in a normal situation. If we were to be in the typical divored family situation, I don't think there would be too many issues parenting wise. He is chill and level headed, same religious beliefs and seems pretty laid back, which is how I parent and deal with issues that come up. He *may* have an issue with the medical choices that DH and I make concerning DS, concerning what meds we have him on... but if he saw all that we did to get him to where he is, I think he'd see the bigger picture.

KellyReedy
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:02 PM

Me and my hubby try to stay on the same page.  BM let's them live as adults.  And watch very unkid friendly movies.  And cuss.  And stuff that 9 and 12 year olds shouldn't do or see or be around.  She could care less what WE think!

KellyReedy
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:12 PM

Oh and her "extra" activities is playing video games or watching TV all day!  Yes...ALL day!  We put them in sports and kept them active.

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