Backstory: DH got temporary custody a year ago, permenant hearing is next month, part of judges order to BM to consider giving kids back to her was her getting a job and maintaining a home in their current school zone. BM has moved in with a new BF 3.5 hours away, but had a local house until last month.
BM told SSs two weeks ago that she was giving up her local house. YSS wants to go back to BM b/c he doesn't like rules/ chores/ consequences for behaviors, but he knows the stipulation the judge gave BM. The only way BM will get him back now is for DH to voluntarily give her custody, not going to happen.
Ever since BM told the kids about giving up the house YSS has been giving DH hell and constantly throwing fits saying he hates living with us and wants to go back to BM. He is using everything to start one of his fits. DH asked him to grab DS's diaper bag when they were loading up to go to the bus stop, YSS threw a fit. He talked back to 2 of his teachers and we benched him for 1 baseball game, threw a major fit. Ask him to help OSS clean their room, threw a fit.
I know he is doing this out of disappointment/ misplaced anger. DH and I have had many talks on validating his feelings, but sticking to our house rules and DH has talked to YSS about appropriate ways to express himself and that his acting up is not going to make DH send him back to BM. DH and I have reached a level of frustration with the whole situation that is just crazy.
Part of me thinks BM doesn't want custody back, she had a house for 11 months and gave it up 35 days before court. If I was a meaner person I would sit BM and YSS in a room and give her the option of moving back here to have custody of YSS and let YSS hear for himself when she says no. No mother should pick a man over her child, but it's killing me that she is leaving us to clean up her mess. Is DH being an ass in not being willing to send YSS 3.5 hours away?