Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central
the new co states that child will reside primarily with the father and then outlines the mothers visitation but makes no mention of the summer only says that the parties may mutually agree for the mother to have other periods of visitation....

Can anyone tell me why bm thinks that this means she will have sd all summer? We are literally having to go back to court so the judge can clarify this to her, wth?

Personally I'm so tired of all the bs that I really don't care at this point but I am curious where this thought process is coming from
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Replies (11-18):
CherryBlossom4
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:52 PM

Its worth it to go back to court, though. Make sure it is spelled out, all the t's crossed and i's dotted. It will save so much future problems. Be sure to get anything in writing as far as how long she plans on keeping them even if it is already said in the court order. Even an email that says, "So the kids will be with you until the 3rd of July and then we will pick them up at 5pm, right? Just for clarification from every angle.

Sunnysdmom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:55 PM

If you don't mind me asking, how/why was the primary custody changed? My DH is thinking about going for more custody soon. He wants Primary Custodial and Legal.

Quoting 4and1mom:

Holidays and birthdays etc are spelled out in previous order when bm had primary custody. Summer was spelled out in the old order too giving dh 2 weeks etc... But now that primary custody has changed she thinks that summer goes back to the old order. She is trying to do this so that she can accumulate enough days to say that she doesn't need to pay cs and that dh will have to pay her instead.
I am just so tired of watching all this money go down the drain and having to listen to dh and sd talk about this stuff everyday... There's more to life than a custody battle and I'm at the end of my rope with it.


Quoting ame4c:

 If you are having to go back to court, make sure it gets spelled out in detail so she knows where her boundaries are.  My X has 4 weeks in the summer if he tells me which 4 weeks before May 30th.  He never does and doesn't want my kids that long (it would mean he'd actually have to be a dad to them).


When there are conflicts though it is best to have everything in detail spelled out in the court documents.  Leave NOTHING up for agreement.  It should be in the document.  Holidays, weekend, and even bdays, leave nothing out.


angelmommy2806
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Honestly it will be better with it spelled out. We need ours redone cause it hasn't been changed since 03 and we have custody now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
4and1mom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Sd is 16 and her mom is controlling to the extreme of the word. Sd has mild disability and bm tries to make it worse than it is, sd wants to live a normal life but bm loves the attention and sympathy.
Bms family helped dh to get custody, bc it really was that bad.


Quoting Sunnysdmom:

If you don't mind me asking, how/why was the primary custody changed? My DH is thinking about going for more custody soon. He wants Primary Custodial and Legal.


Quoting 4and1mom:

Holidays and birthdays etc are spelled out in previous order when bm had primary custody. Summer was spelled out in the old order too giving dh 2 weeks etc... But now that primary custody has changed she thinks that summer goes back to the old order. She is trying to do this so that she can accumulate enough days to say that she doesn't need to pay cs and that dh will have to pay her instead.
I am just so tired of watching all this money go down the drain and having to listen to dh and sd talk about this stuff everyday... There's more to life than a custody battle and I'm at the end of my rope with it.



Quoting ame4c:


 If you are having to go back to court, make sure it gets spelled out in detail so she knows where her boundaries are.  My X has 4 weeks in the summer if he tells me which 4 weeks before May 30th.  He never does and doesn't want my kids that long (it would mean he'd actually have to be a dad to them).



When there are conflicts though it is best to have everything in detail spelled out in the court documents.  Leave NOTHING up for agreement.  It should be in the document.  Holidays, weekend, and even bdays, leave nothing out.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Sunnysdmom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:07 PM

I am delighted to see that the court's recognize/grant the requests of the children! BM is trying everything in her power to not let the kids talk to the judge because she is afraid as to what the children might say. She has even prepared statements for them, "Judge, I am only so-so years old. I have no right or ability to have legal representation." sounds like a robot.

Quoting 4and1mom:

Sd is 16 and her mom is controlling to the extreme of the word. Sd has mild disability and bm tries to make it worse than it is, sd wants to live a normal life but bm loves the attention and sympathy.
Bms family helped dh to get custody, bc it really was that bad.


Quoting Sunnysdmom:

If you don't mind me asking, how/why was the primary custody changed? My DH is thinking about going for more custody soon. He wants Primary Custodial and Legal.


Quoting 4and1mom:

Holidays and birthdays etc are spelled out in previous order when bm had primary custody. Summer was spelled out in the old order too giving dh 2 weeks etc... But now that primary custody has changed she thinks that summer goes back to the old order. She is trying to do this so that she can accumulate enough days to say that she doesn't need to pay cs and that dh will have to pay her instead.
I am just so tired of watching all this money go down the drain and having to listen to dh and sd talk about this stuff everyday... There's more to life than a custody battle and I'm at the end of my rope with it.



Quoting ame4c:


 If you are having to go back to court, make sure it gets spelled out in detail so she knows where her boundaries are.  My X has 4 weeks in the summer if he tells me which 4 weeks before May 30th.  He never does and doesn't want my kids that long (it would mean he'd actually have to be a dad to them).



When there are conflicts though it is best to have everything in detail spelled out in the court documents.  Leave NOTHING up for agreement.  It should be in the document.  Holidays, weekend, and even bdays, leave nothing out.


 


nmaxwell816
by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:14 PM

It's probably best for you to just go ahead and go back to court.  It's not worth the fight honestly

SheChu
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:54 PM

Sounds like she is in the wishful thinking category.  Our CO is the same as yours, DH has sole custody and BM can have SS for 2 sets of 2 weeks with SS in the summer, but has to declare this by the end of school.  Sadly, she never opts to take him like that.  I'll bet BM is in for a surprise when you go to court. 

weirdkids
by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:50 AM

she probably figures that since the court left it open for discussion that she can take advantage of it. be careful though. i dont know her or you or the situation but if you do infact let her take the child all summer it could be used as a ploy against you in an attempt to get the child back ie:i had her all summer. they wanted nothing to do with her.

i had a friend that went through it. his ex tricked him into letting her take their son for the summer then took him back to court for custody because she had him all summer and dad wasnt around and wouldnt let him come home. she failed miserably in court but she still tried.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)