This may be the last one. Not sure.
My confession is that I was childish and immature and acted like an ass.
Some backstory for those who don't know me: Michael and I dated and were engaged in 2005. I was 19 and he was 24. He was my first serious boyfriend. We were young and dumb. We didn't work out. he rebounded with BM, who he worked with. She got pregnant within two months of them meeting so he moved in and asked her to marry him so they could be a family. In 2008 they broke up. My husband is my brother in law's best friend, they are practically brothers, just not blood related. My inlaws raised him along with Michael. So Michael got ahold of me through my brother in law and we began hanging out again. We resumed our engagement a month after getting back together.
The first time BM found out about me and Michael, she refused visitation and said that me being with him did not work for her. She then began texting him calling me a cunt and saying he cared more about me than his son. The times that he was able to get his son, she was constantly calling and texting him. If she knew I was around would text him saying I was a cunt and to keep me away from her son.
The night we got re-engaged I announced it on Myspace. She read it and blew a gasket. She sent me a message calling me names and telling me I'd better leave Michael if I knew what was good for me. She told me if I didn't, I deserved bad things to happen to me. She told me I was fat and ugly. That's when the bullying began. I shot back at her. I should have ignored her. I should have made my profile private. But I was pissed off at her calling me named for no reason and bullying me.
Around the time of the start of the online bullying is when I also began to overstep (read my other post). BM would bully me by saying I was disgusting, fat and ugly and I would shoot back and tell her she was a crappy mother and a bad girlfriend to my husband.
2008 and 2009 were the worse years. The bully was horrible. When she'd say something awful to me, I would fire back to her. It was childish. It was immature. We were both horrible. She said things to me that were uncalled for.
SOME OF THE BULLYING
- she told me Michael was begging her to take him back. She said that he hated me, was ashamed of me and was just using me until she took him back. She said I could not fuck him as good as her or keep him satisfied. She told me that he thinks about her while he's fucking me.
- She would rub it in my face that she was the mother of his only child
- She told me my mother should have murdered me at birth
- She told me to slit my wrists and get it over with
- She bullied my weight by calling me fat, nasty and nicknaming me Cookiemonster
- I have a birth defect due to medical malpractive and she targeted that ( I have a misshapened eye that sometimes crosses and I am partially blind in it) She made fun of me over it and told me she would fix my eyes for me-a physical violence threat
- She would tell me I was jealous of her because she was hot and that she was hotter than me
- She made fun of my miscarriage and told me idiots like me shouldn't breed anyways
- She told everyone I was an alcoholic
- Her favorite words for me was bitch, cunt and fuckface
- She accused Michael of putting me before their son
- She used me as an excuse to deny visitation
- She said that anyone in my life that had ever told me I was beautiful lied to me
- She wrote a blog when I got pregnant with Michaela. She said she would be too ugly to pass for human. She said she would be born retarded and luck if she could "count to B." She also said she should be euthanized along with any other kids Michael and i have.
That is just some of the things I've had to deal with. All of her bullying was online. Once, during a pickup, she yelled at me through her apartment window, trying to get me to respond so we would fight. I just smiled and waved although my instinct was to give her the bird.
I wasn't innocent. When she said me things that hurt, I'd say something mean back to her. But I never got as nasty as she did. I never told her she needed to die. But when she told me I was ugly, I would say back, "your fucking hideous too." When she made fun of my weight, I'd fire back. "sorry but I don't do drugs to stay skinny."
It took me forever, and I mean FOREVER, to learn to ignore her. Me defending myself, arguing with her, was adding fuel to the fire and kept all the bullshit going. I reported her for cyberbullying and got her deleted from Myspace because of all the blogs she had about me. I then made my profile private.
She made another profile and proceeded to continue to torment me. She had as her header that her mission in life was to make me cry. She wouldn't make anymore blogs about me but she would say cruel things about me in her status updates. Eventually I learned to quit checking her status. It was hard because I was paranoid she was spreading more rumors and saying awful things. But when I quit going to her profile looking for bad things about me things got easier.
It is hard to rebound from bullying. I still hurt from the things she said. I am sure she is pissed still about things I retorted back. But the cycle to end it all is to ignore bullying. Do not go to BM's Myspace or Facebook. If she says something mean, let it roll off your shoulder like water. Do not try to get even. The best revenge is to be happy.