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Huge fight kids got brought into the middle of it. :(

Posted by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:52 PM
  • 13 Replies

So they did it! they did exactly what i thought they were going to do. Dh sent bm an email stating that he felt it would be better to work things out through email if SF was going to try to take over and bm was out of no where refusing to talk to dh. We heard nothing not even an a reply disagreeing. Well today we are suppose to figure out for ourselves where to meet in boise for the drop offs during the summer vacation. Dh emailed bm stating that he agreed to where she wanted to meet in june even though it was in another town then Boise and a farther drive, but asked if they could meet closer to his direction in boise for the july drop off. bm didn't reply. As dh called at his scheduled time to talk to the kids SF picks up the phone and tried tell him how it was going to be again dh tried brushing it off stating that bm can either call him later and talk to him about it or she can email him and asked if he could please talk to his children now. SF refused. so dh handed me the phone after many attempts of asking to talk to his kids. As I have the phone i didn't even say a word at first and bm was screaming bloody murder on the phone in the background but said she was refusing to talk to dh personally. LOL. anyway I make myself known and they aren't happy SF wants to only talk to dh. i said no he doesn't want to talk to you you are not the father dh is and bm is their mother and everything about the kids needs to be between them and them only. and if she didn't want to do that that then he can feel free to talk to me and I will relay it to dh and he can get back to bm through email. bm is still yelling in the backround so i start asking her to calm down and to stop acting so childish she was thirty years old and to please act her age. she doesn't she keeps on yelling. SF says that he has been more of a father to them then dh ever has been yada yada yada. i tell him regardless of how you feels you are still their step father and you have absolutely no rights to those kids just like i have no rights unless dh dies or they can prove to the court that dh has his rights stripped from him and SF personally adopts the kids that's when he will have rights and untill that happens which it's not going to happen that he needs to step back and let the parents make the decisions. ( I seriously can't believe how calm and on top of everything I was. LOL) then bm gets on the phone and they are both screaming at me calling me a bitch and c**t and just about every other word you can think of. then i hear that the kids are in the room and i say seriously your kids are in the room and your acting like this you've got to be kidding me... she then informs me she is there mother and she can do what ever the fuck she wants and that i am not their mother. then i say yes your right I'm not their mother because if I was I'd sure as hell would be doing a hell of alot better job and i wouldn't be acting like you are right now... and asked that if dh can talk to his kids now?(yes i know BAD thing to say.. i'm pregnant and was quickly getting tired of being called all these names i just wanted dh to talk to his kids and get it over with.) while bm is screaming at me the phone hangs up out of no where. so I call back one time to ask if dh can talk to the kids she continues to scream and i continue to ask her if dh can talk to his kids. hang up again. so I leave it at that if she was going to restrict the kids from dh then we were going to file for contempt of court order.  phone rings for the last time and it's oldest step son. bm is in the backround yelling don't fucking talk to her tell her you don't want to talk to her, my kids want to talk to their dad! then oldest ss says after a long pause as nicely as possible i don't want to talk to you i want to talk to dad. I said yeah sure hun heres your dad. while dss is trying to talk to dh bm is still screaming in the backround ss just keeps repeating I love you dad i love you dad i love you! dh also repeats I love you too buddy i miss you so much he trys to talk to him but bm is still yelling through the backround. dh finially says to dss I'm srry you have to hear your mom acting like that we are having a disagreement it's nothing to be worried about i love and always will. bm is still screaming through all the kids. Dh went through the kids and told them all he loved them and and talked to them for as much as he could but understood it was stressed to was fine that they kept it short he then hung up the phone. Alittle later we get an email regarding the exchange spot to meet. it was demanding and didn't follow the co at all they wanted to meet in a totally different city... 


so srry this is so long but my god!!! seriously that's it we are buying a tape recorder and recording every damn conversation  that goes on dh is so sick of this and to I really thing olderst step son was scare he wouldn't get to see dh because bm wasn't happy. his reason for saying I love you Dad over and over again. ugh! i can't believe some people. also yes i know there are some things I should have probably done better but she was trying to restrict dh being able to talk to his kids. in the end though dh and i didn't cuss at her or raise our voices once. 

~A healthy stepmother knows that some days she’s a stage hand, some


days she’s the leading lady, and some days she’s the audience, and she


plays each role with grace and style.~

admin of First time stepmoms

by on May. 5, 2012 at 3:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
angelrach86
by Rachael on May. 5, 2012 at 4:11 PM
What a bitch! I think you guys did fine! I don't know if I could have stayed calm. Lol
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angelmommy2806
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Make sure to check your state laws for recording. Bm does it to us and its actually illegal.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alibrezzy154
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:24 PM

yeah I looked it up we have to inform that we are recording the conversation. it won't hold up in court if we just record without making it known first.

Quoting angelmommy2806:

Make sure to check your state laws for recording. Bm does it to us and its actually illegal.


alibrezzy154
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:26 PM

lol you don't know how hard it was! but truthfully I was laughing harder then anything because all dh did was tell them no calmly. and all hell broke loose LOL. 

Quoting angelrach86:

What a bitch! I think you guys did fine! I don't know if I could have stayed calm. Lol


alibrezzy154
by on May. 5, 2012 at 5:19 PM

bump

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on May. 5, 2012 at 5:26 PM
It may or may not. In my state the case law pursuant to family law cases is considered outside the scope of state and federal wire tap laws and the opposing party does not need to be notified of the recording.

Quoting angelmommy2806:

Make sure to check your state laws for recording. Bm does it to us and its actually illegal.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
angelrach86
by Rachael on May. 5, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Its hard to deal with crazy! lol

Quoting alibrezzy154:

lol you don't know how hard it was! but truthfully I was laughing harder then anything because all dh did was tell them no calmly. and all hell broke loose LOL. 

Quoting angelrach86:

What a bitch! I think you guys did fine! I don't know if I could have stayed calm. Lol


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
court_1989
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Wow. Any update on contempt charge? Also not sure how the co is but in mine the parents and so cannot talk bad about the birth parent in front of or around child
alibrezzy154
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:22 PM
Quoting court_1989:

Wow. Any update on contempt charge? Also not sure how the co is but in mine the parents and so cannot talk bad about the birth parent in front of or around child



Yep ours says the same thing we are going to start recording all phone conversations from now on dh is done. This is the third time she's done this. He doesn't want to file till he has a little bit more proof. And bm just keeps racking it up.
jessiesluv
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Just a nice word of advice. Paragraphs are your friends. lol

Anywho, I feel sorry for the kiddos that they had to go through this. I believe if I go back to court, I would get it in the CO that email/text is the way to communicate.

Sheesh, what was her problem?

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