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Back story: BM lives with her mom, the grandma is the one that does a majority of SD's care and does all exchanges for BM.

So, SD doesn't bring clothes back and forth with her. BM has clothes for her at her house and we have clothes for her here. This last weekend that SD was home I didn't get her clothes from BM's washed and dried in time. Well, apparently BM's mom, the grandma was REALLY pissed about it. She made SD call me on speaker phone Friday on the way to the exchange to make me promise to send the shirt back with SD. At the exchange Grandma says "You still have her gray jacket with the pink lettering, I need that back on Sunday." I was raining and the grandma refused to allow SD to take the jacket she had worn to the exchange with her. I keep extra jackets for all the kids in the car so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Anyways, today I'm getting SD's things ready to go back tomorrow and I get the shirt from last weekend and her things from this weekend and I look at the jacket and realize that the one she's talking about is a jacket that MY aunt bought SD for Christmas! (My aunt doesn't have grandkids and has adopted my kids as her's for Christmas and birthdays). Part of me wants to tell grandma "sorry, that was a present from her aunt."

But, we'll be sending the jacket and shirt back with SD tomorrow to pacify the grandma. BM has no idea any of this is going on. She signed the new parenting plan giving DH custody as soon as school lets out. Apparently the grandma is SUPER pissed about this and is taking it out on everyone involved. She originally tried to get BM to get DH to agree to give her (the grandma) custody and DH would continue with every other weekend and half the summer.

I can't tell you how often they've kept clothes that DH and I bought for SD. When SD first start wearing bras they'd send her back to DH without one, I've easily spend a good $200 on bras for her over the last 2 years, that's more than I've spent on bras for myself in the same time frame!

June CANNOT come fast enough.

by on May. 6, 2012 at 3:43 AM
Replies (31-33):
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:08 AM

SD is almost 12, but has special needs and is developmentally about 7. We sent the jacket back up with her. Seriously, she has so many jackets here that it's not an issue at all. I'm just sick of the pettiness from the grandma.

Quoting LucyHarper:

Is your stepdaughter old enough that she can say "oh grandma, I think theres a mix up, this is the jacket that aunt ___ gave me, not the one you gave me", so its more of a simple mix up and she doesn't take it as you going against her? If not, I get it, my stepsons bio moms rights are terminated but her mother has grandparent visitation for a weekend a month. Shes been wanting custody of him since he was a baby and you would not believe the things we have done to keep her happy and pacified so she doesn't make our lives hell. 

by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have wrote on the tag in the Jacket saying "love Aunt ---- "  And sent it back.   Pretty petty to put the child in the middle and on the speaker phone.  Hate when people treat kids as messengers like that.   We are waiting till June for custody for one of our also.. I will be relieved when June gets here too!

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:39 PM

Oh Gawd! I know what you mean.

BM doesn't have custody of SKs. And everytime we send them to her, they come back wearing things from her place which are far too small - from when she DID have custody of them. Then we're missing their good clothes. I kept asking for them back and even offered to come get them - told her she didn't even have to wash them, just shove them in a bag. No biggie. I'd much rather have to wash them (which I'd wind up redoing anyway, there's a funk that comes from her home) than never see them again. Well, she kept making up all these excuses. Oh, she'll bring them by. She'll send them "next weekend". Well, these things NEVER happen and now she's moving 2 hrs away so bye bye good clothes. Freaking witch!! And it's not like she pays child support - since she has "no visible means of income", so we can't use that to purchase more clothing for them. 

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