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Mentally Ill?

Posted by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:05 PM
  • 22 Replies
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 I just don't understand how a MOTHER can abandon their child. I'm a BM and I could never do to my child what my SD's BM did to her. How can women throw away her children because "they don't feel like being a parent" or the child is "too difficult"?

The only thing that makes since is a mental illness. I'm not sure if it's a cross between a real disorder like bipolar or a bullshit disease I'll call SAM (Stupid ass mom) disorder.

frustrated

by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ShannaBee
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:11 PM

Some parents cannot bond with their kids. I know a girl right now who gave up custody of all her kids to their fathers. Even though a woman can give birth, motherhood is not for everybody.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:15 PM

My stepkids' mother has bipolar disorder. She gave up custody.

I was shocked to find how common this is.

andie646c
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:27 PM
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Do you feel this way about fathers who abandon their children too? Are they mentally ill simply because they choose to not be a part of their childs life?

QueenCreole313
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:34 PM

 Maybe I'm sexist but I do think it is different for a man. Men don't know 100% if a child is his unless the child looks just like him (even then it's not guaranteed). A woman who carries and cares for a child (her biological child) then dumps the child is very hard for me to grasp. I'm not condoning men not taking care of their responsibility at all, but I'm speaking as a mother. I do not understand this at all!

BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:42 PM
Qc, I dont get it either as a mother.

As for feeling the same as a father I cant really say I feel the same for men. Of course I dont understand drug addicts, child molester and the like either but I am,not one of them.

But as a mom who has carried a child.... I do not understand how a mother could cut herself off and out or choose anyone other than her child.
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libby261
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:45 PM

I don't either.  My hub's former boss' wife left him and her two kids.  Went off to "find herself".  

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, I completely understand the frustration.  It got better when I quit trying to figure BM out and just expect it.  But still every now and then she'll do something or more likely not do something that makes me think WTF?!?

QueenCreole313
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Well what set me off this time is that not only does BM not take care of SD (physically or financially) the least I expect is some emotional support for the child. She doesn't call or check on her. So when the poor girl calls her mom because we are helping her with doing family trees, she gets an attitude and hangs up! WTF!
BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I lowered my expectations for bm several years ago.
My skids get love and support from us. Bm included. Its not the same as I giveto skids or my ds. I do believe they deserve more and better from her. What can we do about? Nada.

Their bm its who she is. The skids will have to live with who she is for the rest of their lives. I cannot Change that.
WhatI can do and control is me. What I can work on is our relationship.
It helps to let go and focus on yourself.
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:33 PM

It very common and very sad.

My SD is so sick of people telling her that everything is due to her BM's mental illness. UGH, it's hard. 

hugs

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