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 I just don't understand how a MOTHER can abandon their child. I'm a BM and I could never do to my child what my SD's BM did to her. How can women throw away her children because "they don't feel like being a parent" or the child is "too difficult"?

The only thing that makes since is a mental illness. I'm not sure if it's a cross between a real disorder like bipolar or a bullshit disease I'll call SAM (Stupid ass mom) disorder.

frustrated

by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:05 PM
Replies (11-20):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting libby261:

Went off to "find herself".  

You hear about a mom doing this once in a while.

I don't get it. It's completely foreign to me. I feel this is a mental illness - the need to leave your children behind to "find yourself' must be a mental illness.

angelmommy2806
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:46 PM
That's messed up.

Quoting QueenCreole313:

Well what set me off this time is that not only does BM not take care of SD (physically or financially) the least I expect is some emotional support for the child. She doesn't call or check on her. So when the poor girl calls her mom because we are helping her with doing family trees, she gets an attitude and hangs up! WTF!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
libby261
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Just because women can give birth, doesn't mean we're all maternal.  

Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting libby261:

Went off to "find herself".  

You hear about a mom doing this once in a while.

I don't get it. It's completely foreign to me. I feel this is a mental illness - the need to leave your children behind to "find yourself' must be a mental illness.


whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 6, 2012 at 9:33 PM

I guess.

But leaving your child to "find yourself"... that goes beyond simply being not maternal.

I mean, not wanting kids in the first place -  I can see that being "not maternal.'

But leaving your own babies that are already born? That's something different.

I'm sorry. That's just messed up.

Quoting libby261:

Just because women can give birth, doesn't mean we're all maternal.  

Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting libby261:

Went off to "find herself".  

You hear about a mom doing this once in a while.

I don't get it. It's completely foreign to me. I feel this is a mental illness - the need to leave your children behind to "find yourself' must be a mental illness.



inadequate33
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:33 PM

My skids BM is bipolar too, and she left the 5 of them when the youngest was 4.  They now have a screwed up relationship with her, and to hear them talk, she is the best thing since sliced bread.  How do you "forget" that the woman that brought you into this world didn't want you for 10 years?

liltigersmom
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:09 AM
As awful as it is, don't you think its better to abandon them, than to keep them and rent them?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lilangilyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:49 AM

I have known women who are in emotionally abusive marriages who left their children behind when they divorced. Usually the men had better lawyers, more money, and already begun PASing. These were nice women, but passive in they thought they couldn't fight for their kids.

I am not saying this is what happened in OP's situation, it is just that not all situations are the same. I have a friend who travels all the time with her job, so dad has custody. That makes sense to me.

Mommy2BeAmy
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:53 AM

No, some women are just bitches. Reproducing means nothing for them, they'll kill their kids they dont care.

its not a mental illness its just called "Im a bitch and will eventually get what I deserve"

newwife1
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:54 AM

A lady I worked with has been married to her DH for 26 years, when she met him he had 3 very small children. The mother had been committed to a mental instutition.

She raised the stepkids as they had very limited visits at the institution and the mom was so mentally ill she didn't even know they were her kids.

The mom is still institutionalized to this day and my friend regularly visits her. Poor thing thinks my friend is her sister, she has no concept of who anyone is or that she has children.

She is an extreme case, obviously.

DDDaysh
by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:51 AM

What I don't get even more are parents (women AND men) who abandon one child, and then go on to have another that they raise, and yet never reconnect to the first.  I'm not talking about adoptions situations.  I'm also not talking about merely being NCP to one child and raising another, but truly abandoning the first child with no contact or very very minimal contact (on the order of 5 minutes once or twice a year).  That just completely baffles me.  

Though, to be honest, I can't understand women who have placed 3 or more children for adoption either.  That totally blows my mind.  It seems like by number 3 you'd either want kids or be willing to do something to permanently prevent them.  

But then again, I also don't understand people while intoxicated or think being a con artist for a living is a good idea.  Those people aren't me and I don't have to understand them, only learn how to live in the same world with them.  I don't let it trouble me too much because if I can't fix the situation and dwelling on it just makes me sad.  


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