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What do you think?

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:19 AM
  • 21 Replies

If your DH- lost his income and owed BM CS, do you think he should notify her of this before she figures it out or just let her figure it out on her own?




by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KellyReedy
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:20 AM

I think he should tell her.  Then she can't say she never knew and end up going postal!  Honesty is always best!

nmaxwell816
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:23 AM

I suggested this to DH but he said that it's not his problem.  He's the one who has to deal with consequences of the state not her.  

I know she is going to call and snap on him when she figures it out.  I don't know how often it is given to her?!

Quoting KellyReedy:

I think he should tell her.  Then she can't say she never knew and end up going postal!  Honesty is always best!


andie646c
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 12:27 AM
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I think it is something he should tell her as a courtesy. 

mom2cheesebug
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:32 AM

He should go to the courts and get a court date, ask to have it lowered due to no income. BM will recieve a court date as well to attend the hearing. My SO got his put off until he found a new job, but that was a few years ago, so IDK if thats how it still works or not.

lilangilyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:36 AM

Let's see. My DH lost his job and income and I paid CS for a very long time. We wrote a check directly to the AG's office. When I could not longer reasonably do this, we went to mediation at the local AG's office and it was halved. It has remained at this lower rate even though DH now has job. However, the amount is in line with his current salary. So BM never wanted for money.

But in our state, the AG's office comes after the man very quickly if he doesn't pay or is unable to pay. They would notify BM.

Ms.Gwen
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:51 AM
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I think he should tell her so she isn't expecting a check and can budget accordingly. Not telling her just hurts the skids more!
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Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 9:46 AM

he would tell her asap. and they would work something out-they've been thru this before

cc77
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:01 AM

He doesn't have to tell her, but it would help as far as a blow up etc from BM.  If you still have income I would recommend paying it by check each month and if not I would have him call and see about getting it lowered with the courts or Attorney General.  In texas we can get a review if there is a significant change in circumstance and that sounds significant.  If it is just temporary let BM and AG know that dh is looking, but will be behind.  Depending on the state they will not start sending letters until you are so far behind.  (my ex didn't pay for a year or more)

When Dh does get a job they will take out more and add interest payments so you really don't want to get behind if possible.

Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:07 AM

He's not obligated to tell her. If he's court ordered to pay it, then his only obligation is to the courts and or family support registry (or whatever it's called in your state). If he's not very close to her and they don't communicate regularly, then it may not seem necessary to tell her. She'll figure it out when the money stops coming. My husband struggled with cs payments very early on in our relationship (he owed a lot of back when we first got together). He never made it a point to let his daughter's mom know every single time he wasn't going to be paying. But she's never been the type to be up his butt about child support either.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:09 AM

He would continue to owe her CS, until he files a motion to change the CS amount. 

by "figure it out on her own" , you mean he is planning to simply stop paying, and you are asking if he should tell her he's not paying or let her figure it out when the check doesn't come?

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