Being the bigger person? I need help with that part.
Ok so my situation is SO's children are all adults, out of the house (except one who has aspergers and lives with his mom) and pretty much independent of the whole mommy/daddy thing.
Sunday just so happens to be SO's birthday, and of course it's mother's day. His mother has been dealing with a lot of health issues in the past couple years so every mother's day, birthday, holiday is special and we try to spend time with her when she's feeling up for it. I have no issues sharing SO's birthday with his mom and children. I really like his family and his family is the type who appreciates a hard worker which has landed me a part of the family even though they'd rather see us married than just living together.
My issue is the ex. If the adult children are invited to a function than she assumes she's invited to or just shows up "her kids, her right to participate". His family tends to be polite and won't tell her not to come, even if they won't outright invite her.
When she's at a function she just can't help herself going on about what a wonderful life her and SO had together and won't stop with the "remember when daddy... did this and the other and we were such a freakishly happy family" which even her children get tired of it because it's all a pack of lies but it's like if she tells me about their "wonderful" life together then it's real to her. All of SO's family has told me what a crappy, lazy woman she's been and wished SO had left her 15yrs sooner.
I get so sick of walking down memory lane with SO's ex. And if I don't sit next to her and listen to her bullshit she'll spend the entire time calling my name every 15 minutes and asking a question, or making a comment or just giving me WAY too much attention. I feel like a freakin' cheetah at a wildlife safari that everyone looks at but I'm passively trying to pretend I'm invisible by looking the other way and refusing to make eye contact.
Oh yea, so SO's birthday and mother's day I get to share with his ex. It makes me want to throw a tantrum. It's bad enough that father's day lands around his mother's birthday so I get to share father's day with his ex also.
Someone please tell me how to just be "OK" with sharing all these special days with SO's ex. I just need a way to find a little peace in the matter so it doesn't poison everything good. Besides drinking heavily before hand I just don't know how. Joking about the drinking heavily.