I have 3 skids and have slowly over the past two years had to disengage because BM was back in the picture, and honestly, I had to for my own sanity. I let DH make decisions about his children in our home. I have 2 bkids and they see their siblings getting away with things I would never allow them to do. At our house bedtime used to be bedtime. I still enforce the bedtime rule with my 2 children, but DH doesn't really enforce it with his kids. They are older, so that's how I explain it to my kids. But there are other "rules" that we have that DH has stopped making skids follow. One example is we never let our kids stay over at friends' houses on school nights. DH lets SD do it all the time now, but I still won't let my DS. He gets so upset because I won't let him and she gets to. DS has ADHD and is very unorganized and needs structure and routine in order to functuion, I don't feel comfortable letting him stay away on school nights because I'm afraid he won't do his homework, or get enough sleep, or even take all of his belongings to school with him the next day. I guess my questions is does anyone else have this problem? How do you justify to your bkids the fact that skids don't have to follow the same rules?