stepdaughter being bullied help!!

[squishman]

lately my stepdaughter has been feeling more and more depressed about her life and her moms family. it seems like none of them want anything to do with her and it seems like the crying over it is getting more and more frequent, it doesn't help that shes over weight and doesn't make friends easily. well she had a friend who started dating her 19 year old brother (shes 13 so not right) and my sd learned that her friend was cheating on him and she tried to tell him but her "friend" started saying he hates her and that he doesn't ever wanna talk to her again. well later we learned that she had told the same thing to him to keep her "wallet" as she called him (not a nice girl) well last Friday sd came home in tears because of what this girl said to her that day (that shes fat no one likes her that her mom left because of her weight and so on) she was so scared to go to school today that she made herself throw up so she wouldn't have to go (i didn't make her didn't have the heart) so what do i do she thinks every one hates her and she hates herself from all this we go walking everyday after school and we have her on a diet (the whole family) but she still feels like crap about her self because of this stupid girl we've contacted the school about her but the damage is still done to her how can i help her feel better about herself (shes even lost 4 pant sizes so she got new pants yesterday but she couldn't feel good about it because of how shes feeling inside).

[sandeeyo]

Maybe your DH should call that girl's parents and tell them what happened.  Then he needs to tell them that their daughter is no longer allowed to communicate with his daughter in any way and that she should stay away from her at school as well.  And if that doesn't happen, you can call the school and tell them that this girl is harassing your SD and they need to keep those two apart.

[Ms.Gwen]

There are so very many good books on helping a kid with low self esteem. I'm using a few with SS10 but those are for a diffrent age group than your SD. I think your SD would benefit most from group therapy. It may sound weird but what about weight watchers? They meet once a week. When I was involved I met a bunch of high school aged kids in it though the meetings have all age groups. The focus is on supporting eachother, making friends, and positive living choices. If that's a no than how about a church youth group? Maybe a team sport? More than anything this girl needs to belong to a group that is a positive influence. Focus on that as a solution.

[squishman]

we both have tried calling her step mom (her dad left her with her and her mom is mia) but no answer and we called the school today and they said they will tell her to stop or she wont be allowed to go to the school anymore thats all covered but what can i do for her self esteem how can i help her feel not so helpless with her life she feels like her family hates her and her mom isnt helping in anyway so how can i as her step mom help feel better about herself just teh way she is?

[sandeeyo]

Quoting squishman:

we both have tried calling her step mom (her dad left her with her and her mom is mia) but no answer and we called the school today and they said they will tell her to stop or she wont be allowed to go to the school anymore thats all covered but what can i do for her self esteem how can i help her feel not so helpless with her life she feels like her family hates her and her mom isnt helping in anyway so how can i as her step mom help feel better about herself just teh way she is?

Maybe a girls day out would help?  Take her to get her nails done or even get her hair done to celebrate losing 4 pant sizes.  Good GOD!  You need to really emphasis that fact!  Losing 4 pant sizes is not a small thing!  Sounds like she's doing a great job at taking care of herself.  How about dad?  Is he telling her she looks great and that he notices she's really making an effort to lose the weight and get healthy?

FIgures that you can't get ahold of that other girl's parents...what kind of parent lets their 13 year old go out with a 19 year old???  And she calls him her "wallet"????? WTF???

 

 

[CoochieLibre]

Does she do any extracurricular activities? My daughter is SUPER thin and was made fun of for it. She was feeling pretty down about it until I got her into martial arts. Now that she sees how powerful her body is she's a changed person. I think your SD could benefit from seeing how amazing her body is... then the nasty things people say won't bother her as much.

[squishman]

yeah im so proud of her i wish i could do that this fast and no he doesnt unless i tell him and i tell him what to say he works hard and long hours to give us the life he does and i love him for it. and i didn't think of that ill ask if she would like to do that on our walk tonight (thats when she tells me all this things that are happening) i think well get her heai done shes been wanting to get it cut like this guy from her fav band that might make her feel better and she does want batman nails we also have to celebrate her passing all honors. so were doin that tonight :)
and yeah i know nice kid huh (not) and i dont think her mom knows but i dont know so yeah