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advice?!

Posted by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:44 AM
  • 3 Replies

So im engaged and been with my fiance for 3 yrs (since FSD was a lil over a yr old) and now my fiance is ready to tie the knot and truth be told im scared, im afraid of the responsibility that comes with being a step mom and making the both of them apart of my life permanently, however i feel like im in pretty deep and i dont see my life without them. im just confused but too caught up in "getting married" that i dont want to tell my fiance cuz if he knows im getting cold feet he will not want to get married. 


on another note, fiance's Baby mama is being convicted of 3rd degree aggrevated burgalary with priors so she's (hopefully) doing time. I've had enough of her drama and want her out of the picture (she's only damaging the child) but everything has been good (she hasnt been around for a couple months) and now she's trying to get back in the picture and for some reason it makes me drift away from them. I know its just jealousy because i dont like the way they say "our little girl" i know they have every right to, but i have been taking care of her since day one and she comes back in the picture and i feel pushed back when they talk about parenting when its my fiance and I doing the parenting. its all so unfair but i dont really know how to tell fiance how i feel. 


by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:44 AM
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Replies (1-3):
gotchoo
by on May. 8, 2012 at 2:28 AM

You're going to have to talk to him about it.  Don't let it get to the point that it ruins your relationship.  You have every right to your feelings,  and he needs to know what's bothering you.  Especially if it's in regards to his child.

sid1083
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2012 at 3:06 AM
In my experience, the fact you want bm out of the picture completely because to you, she is "damaging the child" really is a big indication for a marriage full of trouble. Sure her absence makes your life easier, but it's not about making things easier for you. I wanted the same thing too, and it ended in divorce.
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mom2cheesebug
by on May. 8, 2012 at 4:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Thats a hard pill to swallow, but its managable. No matter how many times Bio mom disappears, as soon as she comes back she will still be mommy. I just don't put myself in the situation to where i hear their conversations, and i try not to go to with to exchange the kids. YOU don't have to deal with bio mom and you can say "NO, i dont want her to pick her up here, or come visit here, can you do that at the park down the road?". That way you don't have those feeling because your not there to witness it. You don't have to answer the phone if she calls or anything. When you remove yourself from any and all contact with bio mom, it will make being a step parent much easier.

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