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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I feel free, but I know I'm wrong

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When I met my dh his my stepson was 3 yrs old! I have been married for almost 19 yrs and have a 19, 16 and 14 year old marriage has not been perfect! After 7 yrs of marriage by dh had an affair with his ex and she got pregnant! After many months and yrs of counceling, my marriage is not perfect but it has come along way! The problem I'm having is with bm! I don't like her and I don't have to! About a year ago my daughter found out she had a twitter account! And she was talking about me and my children and my husband! Saying all kind of lies! So I sent her a text and the few started! My stepson stoped talking to me! I don't feel I have to put up with her any more! He wants me to stop, he says that his mom is crazy! But why should I let her spread lies about my family! If she talks trash she better be ready, because I will make her eat her lies! Should I just let her be? Please help!!
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by on May. 8, 2012 at 7:54 AM
Replies (21-27):
liltigersmom
by on May. 10, 2012 at 1:31 AM
I would just ignore her.

So does your dh have another woman?
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spiritclua
by on May. 10, 2012 at 1:58 AM

I am sorry your daughter was hurt that your family was hurt. I am sorry that you were hurt. I understand wanting to stand up for yourself and your family and say NO  this is not right, this is my family and I won't let you hurt them anymore. However, with mean bm we can never stop their mean mouths from wagging. What you can do is this hold your head up high and tell your family to do the same. If and when confronted in person defend your family and yourself do not fight, do not give into angry (yep I know that is hard its life journey in lessons), calmly rebuke her lies and tell her you refuse her gift of anger she may keep it. On your account where your friends and family are they see the truth and people who take the time to listen and learn will eventually see the truth too. You can only fool some of the people some of the time and you will never fool all of the people all the time. I don't know if you are a Christian but I will say this one of the reason that Love is a great gift is because it is for everyone and heals all things.  Try giving your family some love and turn the computer and phones off see what happens.

cnjmoody5
by on May. 10, 2012 at 7:27 AM
Bad gramar, and I was so upset. LOL


Quoting Refurbished:

Just curious, why did you end every sentence with an exclamation point?


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cnjmoody5
by on May. 10, 2012 at 7:29 AM
We are going to therapy! My marriage needs a ton of help! But all we can do is try to make it better.


Quoting spiritclua:

I am sorry your daughter was hurt that your family was hurt. I am sorry that you were hurt. I understand wanting to stand up for yourself and your family and say NO  this is not right, this is my family and I won't let you hurt them anymore. However, with mean bm we can never stop their mean mouths from wagging. What you can do is this hold your head up high and tell your family to do the same. If and when confronted in person defend your family and yourself do not fight, do not give into angry (yep I know that is hard its life journey in lessons), calmly rebuke her lies and tell her you refuse her gift of anger she may keep it. On your account where your friends and family are they see the truth and people who take the time to listen and learn will eventually see the truth too. You can only fool some of the people some of the time and you will never fool all of the people all the time. I don't know if you are a Christian but I will say this one of the reason that Love is a great gift is because it is for everyone and heals all things.  Try giving your family some love and turn the computer and phones off see what happens.


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AGreenWon
by Member on May. 10, 2012 at 9:54 AM

Oh My!  It has been so many years, I would hope that the drama would have subsided by now.

Do your SS a huge favor and quit the communication with BM.  You two are wrong to bring your pettiness into his world.  If you cannot be civil to each other, then leave each other alone. Show your SS a good example of  the sticks and stones theory. 

Children need adults to lead the way, and you and BM are acting like children.  The SS is going to have his own set of issues if you are not a big enough person to stop the madness and show him how adults are supposed to act. Lead by example or you are going to be hit with a whole new set of emotional problems  and unwelcome drama with your SS.

Rae706
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you shoud say what you need to say, get it off of your chest, and then be done with it. Cut all ties.
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OregonMom80
by on May. 10, 2012 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this
My advice? Don't read her crap, don't acknowledge it, ignore her. I could care less what BM says about me to people I don't know. I blocked her on FB, so if we both know someone I see nothing she posts, she sees nothing I post. In terms of people we both know, people will figure it out. Some of her, yes BM's, family have told me that I clearly am not what she says even. She was trash talking me to other soccer parents, so I told DH no point in stooping to her level to defend myself. I'll just be myself and they'll figure it out for themselves. Sure enough, they did. Give people time and most will quickly realize who the crazy b***h really is. It sucks at the time, but LT it is the best solution.
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