Anybody wish their step-teen would get a summer job?
School will be out Friday and my SS (18 years old in come July) will be in his room all summer I guess watching tv and listening to music. I know it's not my place to ask him to get a job. I asked his dad if he was going to work this summer a few months ago, and he said he was going to tell him too because he needs to learn to interact with people, money, etc. but he never said anything to him.
We married last fall so I'm not sure how the boy eats breakfast and lunch when he is home during the day alone because on weekends his dad pretty much serves him all meals! I've noticed if dad doesn't make him something he will come in and get granola bars or poptarts, or just skip breakfast. I've never seen him make a sandwich or bowl of cereal even!
I don't know why it bugs me that he sits there 24/7 but it just does. My son was always doing things and worked and my daughter is only 15 and already talking about finding a job. He's planning to go to college, it looks like his mom and dad would expect him to make some money toward that and toward his gas, car insurance, phone, etc. at this point. Don't teens get sick of watching tv and sitting on there bed all day? I never could have done that all summer!
I have been wanting my oldest 2 to get jobs for a little bit (oldest is SS next age is ODD). so i went ahead and bout them both cars to encourage ability to work. Now that I BOUGHT car SS BM got him a job at one of the MAJOR theme parks in the area. Over an hour away. so he is driving this 2nd hand car into the ground but hey she didnt buy it what does she care? Funny thing SHE is the hero for getting him the job and he couldnt care less about even a conversation with me after i got him the car. DD still looking bc she knows i want jobs to be closer to home. I dont think a teen should drive for an hour late at night after a full day of school and night of work wearing them out. But hey what do i know. I just had a friend die from driving after working a double shift and being so tired they fell asleep at the wheel. and that was a young adult (late 20's) my fears arnt based in reality i guess.
If mine end up living with us at that age heck yes they will get a job.
Blend in!
And just as I had to buy my own car, so will they. They will appreciate it more (I hope) if THEY earn $$ for such a big item. Right now, anything they lose or break, DS games, Kindle etc is "no big deal, I'll just tell mom to get me another one". Oh and she does! Yeah that's a way to teach responsibility!
Quoting Kholt:I have been wanting my oldest 2 to get jobs for a little bit (oldest is SS next age is ODD). so i went ahead and bout them both cars to encourage ability to work. Now that I BOUGHT car SS BM got him a job at one of the MAJOR theme parks in the area. Over an hour away. so he is driving this 2nd hand car into the ground but hey she didnt buy it what does she care? Funny thing SHE is the hero for getting him the job and he couldnt care less about even a conversation with me after i got him the car. DD still looking bc she knows i want jobs to be closer to home. I dont think a teen should drive for an hour late at night after a full day of school and night of work wearing them out. But hey what do i know. I just had a friend die from driving after working a double shift and being so tired they fell asleep at the wheel. and that was a young adult (late 20's) my fears arnt based in reality i guess.
Blend in!
He "wants" a job but doesnt want to work... thats not my problem. I worked for what I wanted as a teenager. 1st volunteer job at 15 then paying job at 16 moved out at 17 and have supported myself since... well intill df came along hehe:) and df was the same way... he has been supporting himself since he was 15 and he feels ss needs to earn it...
Thats not to say sometimes we dont throw him a few EXTRA bucks. If he works for 50 we may give him 70 or 80 just depends...
He is 18!?
That shit would not fly in my house. Nope, NO, Not going to happen, No way in hell, oh... fuck no!
I have a very good idea of what you are going through! My step daughter is very similar -although she is only 14. She does not lift a finger unless we ask and sometimes repeat, remind... feel like we beg sometimes or have to say it in a sing-songy voice. Always in her room, does not come upstairs either unless she is hungry. She also will just grab pretzels or a granola bar, or stands in front of fridge wide open waiting for something to jump out at her! uggh! It is so annoying!
I contribute this to how she is treated and raised when she is at her mothers house. Waited on....
I have stopped going down and getting her for meal time. I feel like i am the maid service, and together we have 7 children!! I'll be damned if I am going to keep tip-toeing around her and her schedule of when she is or is not hungry. Meal time is meal time. period! I feel like putting a lock on the pantry door. I know this sounds so mean, but I do not and will not ever raise my children like that. It appears to me she runs the household at her mothers house, and her mom seems more concerned about being her friend, than her mother.
Well, I truly believe children need stern guidance and sometimes to be told what they do NEED to be doing. They are not going to get anywhere in life being waited on. Those who go far in lives are those who help themselves. I also talk to my husband about this...and he understands and agrees. He says it is just hard somethimes because we cannot control what goes on over at the other persons house. Then of course we always look like the "bad guys".
I guess my advice to you about your step-son is- Take away his tv, computer or cellphone (if he is not paying for any of it, or if you and your husband provided it to him), and try to have a very open conversation - eye to eye with him and definately your husband about what you expect out of him!!
Good luck!
I cont
If you are talking to me, you can click on Quote. Then people would know that you are talking to/about them. :)
Swearing is who I am. You don't like it. You can always not read my comments or choose to ignore me.
If I wanted to be a Bitch, I could just say.... what kind of advice or input did you just give the OP?
My input was directed towards the frustration the OP most be feeling. I know I would be pissed.
KWIM?
Quoting LindaMcCarter:ok...It would not fly in my house either, but there is no need to swear about it. And really, what kind of advice or input did you add to the conversation?
Quoting LindaMcCarter:ok...It would not fly in my house either, but there is no need to swear about it. And really, what kind of advice or input did you add to the conversation?
Please excuse us-we have no manners in here..some of us actually use colorful language :)
OP asked does anybody wish their teen skid would get a summer job-and she answered it!!
Question asked and answered.
BM seeks advice
- Bertieb
on May. 8, 2012 at 10:17 AM