Hello,
I am new to this group and new to the site itself. I have a daughter and a step son. Having a tough time adjusting to the way things need to be with shared custody and the ex. I've know him since he was born, second in line to hold him after his mom but theres a distance there between him and I. Any one else have this problem with their step kids? I want to be the best mom I can be to both my kids. Also my husband seems to be harder on my daughter then my step son. Is this common to the situation as well?
Tressa
How old is SS?
I am wondering if maybe trying to be his mom is contributing to the problem?
Quoting Tressa1:He is 18 months and until recently I was taking the back seat because of my daughters need and a bit of jealousy but my husband and SS mom are insistent he calls me mom and that I'm 100% involved in such a role.
Well you can say no. They have no right to tell you what your role should be. You get to choose that for yourself. If there is distance between you and SS, and you feel that others have decided your role for you and "insisted" on it, maybe that is the reason.
I am confused..an 18 mo old being distant? I'd say the child is just a bit confused. My SD2 had a difficult time around this age with the back and forth. BM had a few men in and out of her life and that was confusing as well. BM finally settled down with one and I have been the only one in SD's life at her dads house (been there since she was 7 mo old). She is now a happy little girl with 4 parents who love her and support her. It sounds to me like you have the makings of a wonderful family. I doubt your SS is reacting to you. He is more than likely confused. It's at this age that children begin having separation anxiety so when they are FORCED to separate from one parent to go to another you can imagine what a mix of emotions this must be for them. Be patient mama!
Would you be insulted? And a second question...
- Tressa1
on May. 8, 2012 at 12:55 PM