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New to step mommyhood.

Posted by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:55 PM
  • 17 Replies

Hello,

       I am new to this group and new to the site itself. I have a daughter and a step son. Having a tough time adjusting to the way things need to be with shared custody and the ex. I've know him since he was born, second in line to hold him after his mom but theres a distance there between him and I. Any one else have this problem with their step kids? I want to be the best mom I can be to both my kids. Also my husband seems to be harder on my daughter then my step son. Is this common to the situation as well?

                                                                                    lesbiansTressa

by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Vradybunch
by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Welcome to the group.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tressa1
by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:58 PM

Thank you!!!

Refurbished
by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:06 PM

I'm guessing the second in line part is causing the distance part.

Tressa1
by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:09 PM

I held him before his daddy did. We are finally to our max over nights weekly and I'm hoping the more steady time with him will help.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2012 at 1:25 PM

How old is SS?

I am wondering if maybe trying to be his mom is contributing to the problem?

Tressa1
by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:37 PM

He is 18 months and until recently I was taking the back seat because of my daughters need and a bit of jealousy but my husband and SS mom are insistent he calls me mom and that I'm 100% involved in such a role.

angelmommy2806
by on May. 8, 2012 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 8, 2012 at 2:24 PM


Quoting Tressa1:

He is 18 months and until recently I was taking the back seat because of my daughters need and a bit of jealousy but my husband and SS mom are insistent he calls me mom and that I'm 100% involved in such a role.

Well you can say no. They have no right to tell you what your role should be. You get to choose that for yourself. If there is distance between you and SS, and you feel that others have decided your role for you and "insisted" on it, maybe that is the reason. 

MrsJaiClark
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2012 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 I am confused..an 18 mo old being distant? I'd say the child is just a bit confused. My SD2 had a difficult time around this age with the back and forth. BM had a few men in and out of her life and that was confusing as well. BM finally settled down with one and I have been the only one in SD's life at her dads house (been there since she was 7 mo old). She is now a happy little girl with 4 parents who love her and support her. It sounds to me like you have the makings of a wonderful family. I doubt your SS is reacting to you. He is more than likely confused. It's at this age that children begin having separation anxiety so when they are FORCED to separate from one parent to go to another you can imagine what a mix of emotions this must be for them. Be patient mama!

Tressa1
by on May. 8, 2012 at 2:33 PM

A part of me knows your right. I don't want to force him to love me like my daughter does. Hes got his mama and I'm not her. I do want respect like a parent should have from a child but I know that I will establish that in time.

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