My 4 kids did not get cars when they graduated from high school. Sometime around their junior year in college they got used cars and their first apartment. We did buy them the cars. It did not coincide with birthdays or holidays but was more need based because they had moved off campus.
The BM in our case, recently told DH that he needed to get a car for SS for HS graduation. This is ludicrous to me. DH was recently unemployed for two years and we are still catching up with all our bills. We would probably not be approved at this point for a car loan and don't have cash for a car.
SS's half sister was bought a car in college by her maternal uncle. Her dad had been alienated by then.
I think we will be giving SS cash. If he wants to put it towards a car or car insurance then that can be his choice.
Quoting CoochieLibre:
Sometimes I wish my 17 yo wanted to drive... it would make my life a little easier since I wouldn't have to stop everything to take her where she needs to go. I do plan on getting the kids inexpensive used cars when they're ready. My 17 yo is getting a trip to Paris for graduation. :)
My DD also got a trip to Paris for graduation, with her parents. :)
I would also not take kindly to dd trying to demand a car from me. It's not respectful.
Now if the other parent wanted to buy said car, I might contribute.
Sd could have had my car, but she did not seem all that invested in it. So I sold it for a tenth of its value to my ex for my former sd to use. Car is now totalled but it saved her life. Maybe it was supposed to be that way.
Bm bought sd a car. And life rolls on.
Quoting lilangilyn:My kids were grown men and women when DH came along. He bought them nothing like that. The three oldest had graduated college and were on their own when he came along. And DH will say no to SS.
I was just curious what other people did. In our case, we lived overseas when my kids would have needed cars. They took taxis and buses and when they were old enough, the subway.
SS has used an argument that because my older son had his own motorcycle that DH should buy him one. But DS bought his own cycle in his late 20's so it was a non issue.
To be honest, I just think after all the PAS that has gone on, DH would not be inclined to buy SS something so expensive. He is inclined to help him with tuition, books, and a laptop.
Quoting chanizen:
Thats my take as well. If dd is doing awesome in school and has ECs or a job and is meeting expectations at home, she will get a car. She also needs to show the required responsibility / ability to respect rules.
Lilangyln, why doesn't dh just say no? Sorry kid, budgets tight. No funds available.
Of course if dh contributed towards cars for your kids, that would probably be held up as unfair (and it would be). Did he?
Quoting GlockMom:
DD will be getting a car when she turns 16. She has too many activities and as she gets older she can utilize her gifted vehicle to get herself from Point A to Point B without me having to stress constantly on how to get her where and when. I don't know what her graduation gift will be.
Quoting lilangilyn:
Quoting CoochieLibre:
Sometimes I wish my 17 yo wanted to drive... it would make my life a little easier since I wouldn't have to stop everything to take her where she needs to go. I do plan on getting the kids inexpensive used cars when they're ready. My 17 yo is getting a trip to Paris for graduation. :)
My DD also got a trip to Paris for graduation, with her parents. :)
My mother is taking her. I can't afford that kinda present. :)
~*~ "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art" ~*~
My step dad bought me my own car when I was 18. It was simply to help me out at the time. It was an inexpensive, older but car but it ran great and I loved that little thing. :o)
My guess is that we will match what our kids save when they get their license and want to buy a car. We will have a family car that they can use but isn't theirs, if they don't want to buy a car right away. Otherwise, we might buy them an inexpensive car when they graduate high school.
Most of the kids around here get older used cars at either 16 or 18.
In my world-kids bought their first car-my father told us-you want a car? you gotta suppport it.
i got my first car because mom upgraded-i was working on getting my license and i had a part time job-however my uncle bought it before i could get it on the road-parents needed the money-he said he'd give it back in 6-12 months
the car ended up inthe junkyard because he trashed it so bad.
my sister paid for her first car by trade-she gave my dad a huge tv-he bought her a car.
DH bought all his cars except his current car-he built that himself.
DH told the kids(SS5 and DD8)-when they're older if they want a car-they gotta pay for it-he'd pay for ins but they gotta support the rest.
We'll see how that goes.
I had to buy my own. I think it makes one appreciate it more than to just be handed the keys to a car. Now...If I was VERY WEALTHY...I might "match" the cost or help out. But...I'm NOT rich
Chores- how much is too much.
Do You Think 50/50 Custody Is Good For the Kids?
- lilangilyn
on May. 8, 2012 at 4:11 PM