I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. Long story short, my issues with my stepchildren started about 4 years ago and it was in large part because of their mother. She talks negatively about my dh, myself and even our 3 yr old daughter in front of her children. My step sons are now 11 and 14, and I just don't know what to do at this point. Off and on for the past 4 years my oldest step son has decided to step out of our lives. He creates huge problems, huge fights, leaves our house and refuses to come back, then six months later changes his mind and decides he needs his father after all. He is rude and disrespectful to everyone in our home, he lies, he steals and he is a horrible example for our 3 yr old daughter. A few weeks ago my step son left his Playstation portable on the couch and my daughter started to grab for it. I saw her do this and I told her "Cambree that isn't yours please don't touch it". She said "Ok mommy I won't". She left it alone and went to her room to play. Later that night my step son told my dh that our daughter threw his playstation portable and broke one of the buttons, he then said "you need to buy me a new one". My dh told him he was not going to have to buy him a new one and that wasn't the way to approach the situation. My step son dropped it and up until the other night we heard nothing more about it. The other night he sent a message to my dh asking if he was going to buy his playstation portable or not. My husband told him no, I told you that. My ss then said "you have to your kid broke it". My dh told him not to talk to him like that and we would discuss it when he came this weekend. His son's response was "well I'm not coming this weekend because Cambree is a little bitch and I can't stand being around her. Thanks for all your help "dad" you're a fucking loser". So of course then the ex wife calls and says "well Cody doesn't want to go to your house now because Cambree broke his playstation and it's not fair that you won't buy him a new one. And I don't think you deserve to have your kids around you if you are going to put your wife and your other two kids before our children. She said he won't be back, because I won't make him go there". Keep in mind this crap happens every 6-8 months. He leaves for months at a time after causing a bunch of problems and a huge fight (last time he told my dh he couldn't stand his "bitch" of a gf and I should be shot). We've done everything we can think of and his ex wife just disregards it all. She doesn't tell him when the kids have events at school, when they are sick, doesn't put them on the emergency contact cards at school, NOTHING. She keeps him in the dark as much as possible and then tells her children he is a deadbeat. I just don't know what to do at this point. Right now I have a lot to deal with, I have a 3 yr old dd a 4 month old ds a husband and house to worry about and my father is dying. I told my dh that this time when the door closes we might need to just leave it closed. Because we both know in 6 months he will call us saying he needs his dad, but then he just constantly steals from us, lies to us and disrespects us. What would you do if this were your situation?