I am not a step mom, but my BF has 3 kids fromprevious relationship and I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and share 2 together. Currently BF is in Afghanistan and will be there for a year. Bf's mom came out here to help me for whenever his kids would come to visit. BM and BM's girlfriend had made it very clear after BF had left that the kids were only to be coming over to see BF's mom(grandma). BF's mom was here when he first left but ended up leaving when BM's girlfriend tried to cause problems in our home and stated that the kids would be only here cause of the grandma or if they need a babysitter.
BM and BM's girlfriend do not like me at all and have made it obvious with statements made. However, they want me to be available to watch the kids and if I am not available they make contact with BF letting him know. He has told them that they can bring the kids by anytime which he should not have stated to them. Don't get me wrong I love his kids and they too love me; we get along real good. But it is difficult to watch all of our kids by myself; too much especially when I have an infant. I don't mind his kids coming every now and then, but that's it. BM and BM's girlfriend stated to me the 7 year old girl is real bad and does not listen, but want me to care for her. All three kids have ADHD and can be overwhelming at times. I have my own children to take care of and have other things to take care of. They are using me to be a babysitter and I am not a babysitter; though me and BF are not married I would like to think of myself more than just a babysitter to the kids. BF makes me feel bad if I don't want them to come over and I feel he should not do that to me. It's not like he is here caring for them, its me. I want to see the kids but not for long periods of time.
Oh and BM has her GF speak for her. GF commincates what goes on with kids to BF and when Kids come over GF drops them off and speaks. I don't like that one bit and have chosen from this point on not to deal with GF cause I just don't like her and plus she is not the mother of the kids. BF was not happy when I told him this, but oh well. Told him if he chooses to deal with the GF then so be it, I am not and don't have to.
I just feel so conflicted.