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Inlaws and skids :) **VENT**

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In Fairytale everyone gets along. In reality-not really.

We all have a variety of skids-love'em,hate 'em,barely tolerate them,wish we could trade them in for better models.

Same goes for the in laws. How do you deal with the in laws?!

Since the day he was born-SS5 was always MIL's favorite (let me state for the record-she's got mental issues-like needs to be in a padded room mental issues). Every Friday BM would drop him off to MIL-she'd care for SS while DH was at work. Care for him on the weekends while Dh slept in.

SS was 9months when i came into his life. MIL liked me then.Until about 2 yrs ago-when MIL's parents passed=she started going off the deep end.

She started getting obsessive with SS. She would do her errands every Saturday-and would take SS with her-whether DH wanted her to or not. She basically co parented with DH until I moved in last year.

SS5 and I share a birthday. July 19th is our day. She actually told me 2 yrs ago I'm not allowed to celebrate "her grandson's birthday" because I'm not family and I don't count. Then wondered why DH refused to attend the birthday party she threw for SS. We instead attended a family party my parents threw for us both.

Then came "THE INCIDENT" SS5 was in a mood-refusing to obey me. After multiple calls his father at work-getting nowhere-I called BM for help-she offered to come pick him. This was on a Friday-MIL was suppose to take him overnight.

I called MIL to tell her NOT to come pick up SS because he wasn't going to be here-she went off on me. Barged into my house-assaulted me and BM both-told Us both we had no right "to keep her from her grandson" and how we BOTH deserve to lose our children.

All because SS5 was acting up and I called BM  for help. MIL and DH both actually told me I had no right to call BM and I should have let MIL deal with him. BM said "I'm his mother NOT HER"

"ENTER THE NOSY NEIGHBORS WHO LOVE CALLING THE PO PO"

MIL takes off speeding-nearly running over the neighbors trash cans-here come the cops-2 cars. One takes off after MIL. We talked to the cops-got shit straight.

Why do the in laws think they're entitled to these kids like this?! I understand MIL loves her grand kids (only the bios though SD11 and DD8 both get treated like shit because "they're not FAH-MILY" however this lady actually told me and BM-she has more right to this boy then we do!

How the fck is that possible?!

This was back in the fall this happened. MIL still comes every Sunday to visit-SS really doesn't bother with her. She fake cries with him and bribes him-but it never works.

The police told Dh to keep his mother away. She's not allowed in my house or on our property at ALL. If she wants to see or talk to DH-she calls the house phone (not my cell since I pay for that) and meets him down at the corner. And she knows I'm serious about her being banned. Every Time she comes around-I stand at the door holding the phone watching her.

Do any of your inlaws acting possessive of your skids?

My parents sure as hell don't. They love all the grand kids equally and spoil equally.



by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Replies (61-69):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 7:38 PM


Quoting blaquechinadoll:

Yes, unfortunately. She is HIV+ and mental health. We could not find housing for her and when we thought we had, there would be some issue regarding mental health meds and we would have to go get her. We tried assisted living, but would have to pay more than her check would cover. We finally just found a house that has separate living quarters. Now that she is compliant with meds, she is manageable and my dh handles her. She is still not clean hygiene wise and therefore i don't allow my son to have contact with her. And the comment she made about having a dead baby in her duffle bag (years ago during a psychotic episode) has never digested. DS was 3 at the time. When asked how many grand kids she has, she answers 2. Dh has 2dds.

imma pray for you-because you need it more  then i do!

i guess not many nursing homes would  deal  with  her ? i would keep  all  the  kids  from  her

blaquechinadoll
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:47 PM
Ha! Thanks for the prayers. Never can have too many. But it's been 7 years now and a part of life. I have been encouraged to the point of entering Nursing school this fall and maintaining a 3.8 GPA. We tried the nursing homes too and just decided that bc she listens to dh, she'd be better off with us. All the calls to come get her or that she had wondered off was too much for us as well. Dh loves his mom despite the fact that she left him at age 5 for a life of prostitution and crack.
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 7:51 PM


Quoting blaquechinadoll:

Ha! Thanks for the prayers. Never can have too many. But it's been 7 years now and a part of life. I have been encouraged to the point of entering Nursing school this fall and maintaining a 3.8 GPA. We tried the nursing homes too and just decided that bc she listens to dh, she'd be better off with us. All the calls to come get her or that she had wondered off was too much for us as well. Dh loves his mom despite the fact that she left him at age 5 for a life of prostitution and crack.

no i can  understand ! he's  trying to be there  for her  in her  time of need despite her being gone. i can  respect  that however  dh and i both agreed-when the time come-SIL can deal with her! her and i DO NOT MESH WELL!

LivnSimply
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:55 PM
Did they die close together? Sounds like they did.

Anyone suggest this woman get into grief counseling or on anti-depressants?

People who grieve can behave very weird.


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting LivnSimply:

How did her parents die?

both were  in  their  90s


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Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 8:01 PM


Quoting LivnSimply:

Did they die close together? Sounds like they did.

Anyone suggest this woman get into grief counseling or on anti-depressants?

People who grieve can behave very weird.


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting LivnSimply:

How did her parents die?

both were  in  their  90s


2 yr gap

she did grief  counciling and support groups-she refuses  medication. sil took her to get her mentality  checked (so she said) dr says mil's normal....whatever that means....personally fil/dh and i think she's loosing her mind and heading for the deeep end

12mommy3
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:22 AM

MIL here is a complete witch.

And she only cares for SKs - well 2 out of the 3; bc the middle one reminds her so much of the BM that she treats her like crap. She even treats DHs bio daughter by me, like she's not her own grandchild!! 

She used to make such a big todo with me about how she felt so sorry for me having to take care of 6 kids on my own (DH works away a lot) that on the weekends, she would come and sit with them for a few hours and  let us go out. Well, I come to find out that she was making DH pay her on the side. Nice. And then calling us every 45 min or so to see where we were and how long we would be. Then once we got home, she would bitch about how it must be nice to get away & spend money. How she had 3 kids but never got away and never had money to spend. Ugh!! 

She was constantly going by the school, taking the oldest SD out, she's in SPED and keeping her all day, then returning her before the buses would run so we would be none the wiser that she'd missed an entire day of school. MIL and the teacher decided it would be alright to do so. And the teacher, well she's just happy to be rid of another student, so she didn't even count it against SD - thank goodness, since then DH would probably be in jail & fined for his child missing so much school! I'm sure she's missed at least half of this school year. Finally, DH told his mom that if she did it anymore, he'd have her redlined at the school &  she'd never be able to pick up the kids again. MIL got pissed at me bc I told her she had brought that on herself; when she asked me to "talk some sense into him". He'd asked her repeatedly to stop doing that - that we do in fact send the kids to school for a reason! 

Now DH & MIL haven't been on speaking terms in at least 2 wks. She's tried everything. From hateful voicemails to him, to crying ones and now leaving ones saying that she has this idea but he has to call her back so she can tell him. LOL 

DH and I have been together for 4 yrs now and their relationship has been this way the entire time. Apparently, it's always been like this. The real straw that broke the camels back was when she told him that she wasn't going to watch his middle daughter anymore (she's 12) bc she doesn't mind. SD12 is one of the best kids we've got!! The thing is, she looks exactly like her BM!! And MIL hates that. Not to mention, SD12 doesn't fall for MILs crap. Fine by me, She never treated my DS or DDs like they were a part of her family, so good riddance to bad rubbish.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:40 AM


Quoting 12mommy3:

MIL here is a complete witch.

And she only cares for SKs - well 2 out of the 3; bc the middle one reminds her so much of the BM that she treats her like crap. She even treats DHs bio daughter by me, like she's not her own grandchild!! 

She used to make such a big todo with me about how she felt so sorry for me having to take care of 6 kids on my own (DH works away a lot) that on the weekends, she would come and sit with them for a few hours and  let us go out. Well, I come to find out that she was making DH pay her on the side. Nice. And then calling us every 45 min or so to see where we were and how long we would be. Then once we got home, she would bitch about how it must be nice to get away & spend money. How she had 3 kids but never got away and never had money to spend. Ugh!! 

She was constantly going by the school, taking the oldest SD out, she's in SPED and keeping her all day, then returning her before the buses would run so we would be none the wiser that she'd missed an entire day of school. MIL and the teacher decided it would be alright to do so. And the teacher, well she's just happy to be rid of another student, so she didn't even count it against SD - thank goodness, since then DH would probably be in jail & fined for his child missing so much school! I'm sure she's missed at least half of this school year. Finally, DH told his mom that if she did it anymore, he'd have her redlined at the school &  she'd never be able to pick up the kids again. MIL got pissed at me bc I told her she had brought that on herself; when she asked me to "talk some sense into him". He'd asked her repeatedly to stop doing that - that we do in fact send the kids to school for a reason! 

Now DH & MIL haven't been on speaking terms in at least 2 wks. She's tried everything. From hateful voicemails to him, to crying ones and now leaving ones saying that she has this idea but he has to call her back so she can tell him. LOL 

DH and I have been together for 4 yrs now and their relationship has been this way the entire time. Apparently, it's always been like this. The real straw that broke the camels back was when she told him that she wasn't going to watch his middle daughter anymore (she's 12) bc she doesn't mind. SD12 is one of the best kids we've got!! The thing is, she looks exactly like her BM!! And MIL hates that. Not to mention, SD12 doesn't fall for MILs crap. Fine by me, She never treated my DS or DDs like they were a part of her family, so good riddance to bad rubbish.

i can relate...MIL/SIL/BIL their 3 kids plus my 2 skids-every time the kids had a birthday-they would go to the movies. just up and leave the party and take off with the kids-a few times without DH even knowing they were leaving.

so many times my DD would get left behind-crying and fussing-they thought they had that right

HOWEVER when MY parents would come to visit and take all 3 of OUR kids out (dd sd and Ss) MIL and SIL would throw tantrums

like my parents were kidnapping these kids.

Finally I had enough-and went off on all 3( Mil SIL and DH) that if this continued-with them rejecting my daughter ON PURPOSE -then there would be consequences-such as them leaving with these kids ithout our permission-the cops would be called- charges will be pressed etc

the squaws didn't like that one bit-until I brought BM into it-she had a right to know what was going on-she sided with me.

she has issues with MIL and SIL with how they treat SS and didnt want them around him-that's how we stopped that behavior.

SD11 is BM's mini me-she's a beautiful girl if I ever heard MIL disrespecting her like yours did with your SD-she's be shitting teeth

melisa123
by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

i have the same kind of issues with my MIL...she doesnt think im a good mother because i dont spend every waking minute cleaning my house like she does...im wondering what shes cleaning in her house when she lives alone...we are currently not talking to her because of the shit she tried to pull due to us not being able to pay her back money we owe her...when our taxes came in hubby was out of work and needed surgery...we were behind on our bills...so we paid up everything we owed and a little more and saved the rest to live on until hubby was able to return to work...man was she p***ed...she threatened to have me and my hubby arrested for stupid stuff and left a message on my phone saying she will do everything she can to bury us...we didnt let her see the kids at all...we finally gave in to that only cuz she has a pool and i felt bad hearing my nieces talking about going swimming (we live in florida so of course its hot)...to me it is so selfish of her to want us to lose everything we have just to pay her back...im sorry but my family comes before her...and always will...it would not hurt my feelings at all if i never saw her again...

Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2012 at 11:33 AM

This is not a question of possession or fairness.  Your MIL is mentally unbalanced.  I am not sure your DH is much better as it seems he is mostly on her side.  I'd get counseling for you and DH before this affects your marriage.  Good luck.  I wish you all the best.  I feel for your SS having to grow up around his grandmother.  

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