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An observation

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:18 AM
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Why is it when a SM lists things bm has done, there is a comment somewhere along the lines of SM making things up, she's jealous or someone is commenting "bm is always a crackhead, on drugs, mentally ill in SMs eyes".. (Maybe not in that exact wording, but anywho..)

You know, it is possible for this many women to be on drugs and psycho.. just sayin.


by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 11:22 AM

It is possible, but not very believable when it is one of the last things to come out about her.  Just like when SM says BM wants her man back.  Not very believable either.

angelmommy2806
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM
I agree. There are a lot of people with problems.
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jessiesluv
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Why is it not believable that bm would want her ex back?

Ms.Gwen
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:30 AM
BM here is not on drugs. She got her crazy the honest way... From her mom! I couldn't tell you if she's got some kind of diagnosis for it or not? It does sound like she has suffered bouts of clinical depression off and on for years though. I read a book called "the borderline mother" that really seemed to understand BM/ coincide with her actions and parenting choices. That doesn't mean she has BPD. It just means she might. I think it's totally natural to label ineffective behavior as 'crazy' and when there is a pattern of ineffective behavior to label that individual as 'crazy'. As long as no one assumes this is some kind of clinical diagnosis (and I don't think anyone here does) no harm is done. It just helps describe ones POV.
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YesImMomToo
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:31 AM
I wish I was fabricating half the shit Ive said about bm but I havent.

What else am I suppsed to think when she starts whining to my dh about they are supposed to be together he will realize that one day and leave me to go back to her?
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newstepmom61811
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:34 AM
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I think part of it is for women whose situations are smooth they don't need a forum to vent or seek advice. I think on this forum we see more (higher percentage) "broken" people because SMs are seeking help for difficult unstable situations. I think this forum will unmask or bring out the people in those situations. So I think here the percentage is higher than the general population of blended families but may be accurate.
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I see BMs tell some crazy things SMs have done and considering they are all women, it means BMs can do crazy crap too.

CherryBlossom4
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:42 AM

I've seen this go both ways and have even accused someone of it a few times (more about my situation below). 

I don't understand it. AT ALL. It seems like most of us in here have said something out of anger, annoyance or utter tiredness of the situation. I think the majority of us have tried to annoy the BM, SM, BF in some form... whether that was 20 years ago or last week. I think many times we can say that we are justified in our actions or accusations because "LOOK! Look what she said/did!"

The only time I have said it is after years and years of the same crap, different day. And I have only said it because I have moved on AND my ex has moved on. SM has been the only person that seems to NOT have. I don't understand it. Even if my ex is still upset about something or annoyed about something, he is mature about it. He and I both had silly fights years ago, we were both dumb. But now, he and I just deal with what is at hand and the past is just that... the past. It is not he nor I that bring up any past problems. It is her. It is not he nor I that have ongoing issues. It is her. That is when I have said that there might be something going on with her. Truly, I don't think that she has a mental illness. At the worst, maybe an emotional problem. Really though, I just think there is something there that has been left unsaid for years... and because of it, I think it inhibits her from moving on and dealing with any current problems. You can't maturely deal with something in the present if you are still dealing immaturely with the past. I've done what I can to figure out what the issue is, but I can't force it out of her. I just don't let it get to me, because there is nothing to get to me. I am not upset, angry, or leaving anything unforgiven or unspoken. I don't think I could live like that. 

Point being... I was stupid when I accused her of that and should have just said it how it is instead of accusing her of that to annoy her. 

CherryBlossom4
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:44 AM
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Then again, I read about things on here like someones DH's ex getting his name tattooed on her AFTER the divorce, sending an ex nude pictures, wishing miscarriages on women and more... and I think some of these women really are nuts that you guys are talking about. I have not dealt with that.

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 11:49 AM

All  I know is that when I first joined the group I mentioned that Bm is bipolar in one of my posts. Someone repiles to that saying, " you know when SM says BM is bipolar it's like a joke around here".....I was thinking, ok, well she is....am I supposed to not talk about that just because other SM's says the Bm is bipolar too? Admittedely, it does seem like their is a dispraportionate amount of BM's that are labeled bipolar, or crazy/psycho etc. But that does not change the the fact that my skids BM is bipolar, she has literally been admitted to inpatient care twice in the last year. I don't call her crazy though, she is friendly to me and wants to be a good mom, she just has some major challenges to overcome.

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