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Stepmother on Mother's Day

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:51 PM
  • 24 Replies

I hate being a stepmother on Mother's Day.  My husband and I have no children and after 22 years of marriage his daughter sill will not acknowledge me on Mother's Day or my birthday.

Still frustrated.

Judy

by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Moms2NTwins
by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:53 PM

I have bios but my skids have never, ever acknowledged me on Mothers Day...it's never bothered me though. Im sorry it hurts your feelings (((hugs)))

pseudomamma
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 12:57 PM

I have no children either.  What kind of relationship do you and SD have?  Perhaps she's just being loyal to BM.


Sept-babies2
by Ashley on May. 9, 2012 at 1:18 PM

im sorry. that doesnt sound like any fun and i know i would be hurt but my husbands daughter is only three and she doesnt even know what mothers day is all about yet..but i hope when she gets older she thinks about me on mothers day. but i also have 2 of my own kids but still would be hurt if my sd didnt care

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:22 PM

How old is his daughter?

Were you involved with her when she was younger?

Have you told your DH how you feel? 

lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:35 PM

I am the same as you. I have a SS he is 3 and been in my life since birth, and 2 of my own. It would probably hurt my feelings if he didn't think of me on Mothers Day as well.

Quoting Sept-babies2:

im sorry. that doesnt sound like any fun and i know i would be hurt but my husbands daughter is only three and she doesnt even know what mothers day is all about yet..but i hope when she gets older she thinks about me on mothers day. but i also have 2 of my own kids but still would be hurt if my sd didnt care

 

inadequate33
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:40 PM

I have 4 adult SD, and in the 3 years I've been in their lives, I've maybe gotten a "Happy Mother's Day" from one of them.  Last year, one of the SD asked to borrow some of my scrapbook stuff to make cards for MD...did I get one?  Oh no...her excuse was, "she forgot".  So this year, I'm saving myself the heartache.  DH bought me a peony bush from our BD, and he wants to take me out to dinner.  I told him that was fine - only my BK and our BD...not the skids...I'm not their mother. 

angelmommy2806
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:53 PM
I'm sorry. This is our first year with the skids. If my Mil wasn't here I'm not sure how it'd go.
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sidelinesally
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:58 PM

I understand the hurt feelings - I get little pangs myself - but really, we (SMs) are not technically their mothers. So unless BM is really removed from the picture it makes sense that SMs are overlooked. Apparently Stepmother's Day is on May 20th. Why not drop an oh so not subtle hint to DH*/SO that it would be nice for the SKs to recognize you on your own special day?

spereira
by on May. 9, 2012 at 4:00 PM

 I know how you feel. I don't expect to be acknowledged on Mother's Day because I am not their mother. BUT your birthday?? That's just common courtesy! I have known my step kids for 7 years, and I have never been acknowledged for my birthday from their own accord. My husband, their father has always prodded a reaction, but I hate that. I expressly do not want him to do that becasue I would much rather have an acknowledgment if it is truely coming from them. It  hurts because I have always bought them presents and said happy birthday to them! It thinks its just so rude.

5monkeysplus1
by on May. 9, 2012 at 4:17 PM
You're right. You are not their mother in any form or fashion. They are adults & you've been around 3yrs. I can understand the op's pain as she's been around 23yrs. I got a stepmom as an adult. There was no way after I was already an adult that she would be anything more than a friend. I gave her mothers day cards & said thank you for making my dad happy. I like her a lot. But she is not a mother to me. It's nothing personal.


Quoting inadequate33:

I have 4 adult SD, and in the 3 years I've been in their lives, I've maybe gotten a "Happy Mother's Day" from one of them.  Last year, one of the SD asked to borrow some of my scrapbook stuff to make cards for MD...did I get one?  Oh no...her excuse was, "she forgot".  So this year, I'm saving myself the heartache.  DH bought me a peony bush from our BD, and he wants to take me out to dinner.  I told him that was fine - only my BK and our BD...not the skids...I'm not their mother. 


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