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Step daughter in T-Ball.....Mom's shocking way of handling the situation

Posted by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:59 AM
  • 30 Replies

SD lives mostly with her BM and spends 6 weeks with us during the summer (as well as holidays and a minimum of every other weekend) anyway BM felt it was unfair that SD missed out on childhood opportunities so she signed her up for Tball this spring/summer.  The court order says all these decisions are supposed to be made by both BM and BF but as DH is not opposed to her being in extra curricular activities we did not throw a hissy fit over mom not talking to him about signing her up.  We are actually really suprised because BM NEVER communicates let alone well, or follows the court order and she not only gave us the Tball schedule but also invited us to attend the games we could!!!! Im not sure why the change in her behavior but I hope it is the begining of something good.  I am wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that DH and I are expecting the arrival of our first baby this Saturday - maybe mom has realized the reality that he is never coming back to her and is accepting it finally after almost 5 years?

by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 10, 2012 at 11:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't read too much into it OR try to analyze her behavior now.  I'd just accept what happened, thank her for the open invitation, and attend the ones you can attend.  Be pleasant, and if BM throws a fit or is rude, just don't go to any more games unless she's not there.  You're going to drive yourselves crazy if you expect bad behavior from her and then question it when she's nice. lol  It should be the other way around.

SassyMom25
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2012 at 12:53 PM

So how is this going to work? Is it on your time or BM's...both? I'm just wondering how that is all going to work out since it seems to me DH would obviously find out about it had BM not told you and you would need to know the schedule should practices fall on DH's time.

Ms.Gwen
by on May. 10, 2012 at 2:08 PM
I think BM did it so she wouldn't have to go 6 whole weeks without seeing her baby girl. I don't think it's got a damn thing to do with you having a kid, her getting over anything, or her ever wanting to get back together with her ex.
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nikkidunbar
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:23 PM

 I wouldnt get your hopes up darling. been there and done that. maybe her intentions are honerable but most arent.

PROGENITOR
by on May. 10, 2012 at 5:04 PM

Maybe she figures with a new baby you guys will be too busy to participate. She is going out of her way to let your dh know about it only to hope he slacks off and she can come off as the gracious cooperative BM and he as the BD who is too busy with his new family.

Muhahahaha

I think I've been in these online SM groups way too long. LOL

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Quoting PROGENITOR:

Maybe she figures with a new baby you guys will be too busy to participate. She is going out of her way to let your dh know about it only to hope he slacks off and she can come off as the gracious cooperative BM and he as the BD who is too busy with his new family.

Muhahahaha

I think I've been in these online SM groups way too long. LOL




Yes this...but maybe she will stick with this now that she knows you will both be busy with other things
angelmommy2806
by on May. 10, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Glad she did it but I wouldn't get all excited about it.
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packermomof2
by on May. 10, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Ms.Gwen:

I think BM did it so she wouldn't have to go 6 whole weeks without seeing her baby girl. I don't think it's got a damn thing to do with you having a kid, her getting over anything, or her ever wanting to get back together with her ex.

I agree with this.  SM and her child are probably not on moms radar.  She probably just wants to see her kid.  6 weeks is a long time to go without seeing your children for a lot of people.

DixieL
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I hope for your and your husbands sake that's what if is. Bio Mothers are sometimes jealous of ex husbands new family. A lot of men when they get a new family they ignore the family they had before. It sounds like your husband is defineatly not that way. Hopefully she is coming along. Good Luck and Happy Mothers Day

NessGuinness
by on May. 11, 2012 at 9:36 AM

Im sorry I should have clairified - we get her for 6 weeks but we break the time up into 2 week chucks so SD spends 2 weeks here and then goes back to mom for 2 weeks, etc. etc.  And just some background knoweledge about this particular BM - she has a new (within the last year) boyfriend who she has been spending the majority of her time with - enough that maternal grandma who watches SD while BM is out with the boyfriend has gotten on BM's case for not taking care of the child anymore so if it was the whole not seeing her baby girl thing I think everyone in this situation would be completely shocked. And we have done this whole visitation thing the same way for around 4 years and never had any "issues" like this so I do truly think BM just wants SD to have the childhood experiences - she may not think we are going to come with a newborn or with the difficulties in previous communication but we are planning to attend at least one of the games :)

Quoting packermomof2:


Quoting Ms.Gwen:

I think BM did it so she wouldn't have to go 6 whole weeks without seeing her baby girl. I don't think it's got a damn thing to do with you having a kid, her getting over anything, or her ever wanting to get back together with her ex.

I agree with this.  SM and her child are probably not on moms radar.  She probably just wants to see her kid.  6 weeks is a long time to go without seeing your children for a lot of people.


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