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Do you feel it's easier being a single BM or raising child with a BP?

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:50 AM
  • 58 Replies
Hi. BM of 2 dd's 9&10. SM of 2 SS 12&16.

I have my dd's full time. Bd is CO'd to 1 wknd per month(we chose Time) plus holidays Are between us.

My Dh has his sons 50/50. Every other week and after school.

As hard as it was/is being a single mother,It Looks easier then what my Dh has to go through. I'd rather be in charge of all things,financially and every other way,then have to have all these strings attached w co parenting.

I wish dad was involved but he's not. Now that I see the other side,BM and Bd involvement,I feel I got the easier of the 2.

What do you think?
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by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
looneytunes290
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:57 AM
I agree- I don't know that it's always better for the kids- but I don't believe it's easier to parent alone than with someone you don't get along with.
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:03 PM
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Quoting looneytunes290:

I agree- I don't know that it's always better for the kids- but I don't believe it's easier to parent alone than with someone you don't get along with.

I agree with this. 

However, again it depends on the stitch.

For my kids, it's better that I parent alone. Well I did until DH. Shit, I still do! lol

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 16, 2012 at 12:09 PM

In my case, it wasn't easy, but way better than having to parent with my ex and ds's crazy stepmom! lol

MommySabs
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Until the past year I would have persistently insisted it was better for the kids to have their dad at least as a presence in their lives with dh having a parental role in our home . However at this point bd is doing so much damage with his choices I honestly wonder if it would be better for everyone if he moved back to his home state and see the boys a couple times a year.
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pristine729
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Depends on the day...but wouldn't be nice to say ”I have a doctors appointment, can I drop our son off for a couple hours? ”
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM


Quoting sandeeyo:

In my case, it wasn't easy, but way better than having to parent with my ex and ds's crazy stepmom! lol

heck no, being a single mom is so effing hard. I could write a book. 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 16, 2012 at 12:48 PM


Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:


Quoting sandeeyo:

In my case, it wasn't easy, but way better than having to parent with my ex and ds's crazy stepmom! lol

heck no, being a single mom is so effing hard. I could write a book. 

I feel your pain!  There were times when I wanted to just throw my hands up and give up because dealing with his disability and trying to get the schools to not penalize him was SO HARD!  But I couldn't imagine having to deal with that AND deal with my ex husband and HIS issues (namely his wife...LOL).  That would for sure have driven me over the edge.

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 16, 2012 at 1:15 PM
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I wish my dd's dad was involved. That would be great. I work nights and there's no politics at all. It reminds me of being a single mom,you just donwhat you have to do to get the job done. Am
Shift,there's tons of politics and it reminds me of conparenting w someone that makes it seem like when you were married. Hard,not fun,always drama and noone agrees.

I agree 2 parents in a household triumphs 1 parent by far. But when the kids see the same amount of fighting it seems like an on going divorce battle:/

This is from my Friends POV also. Not just my own life.


Quoting looneytunes290:

I agree- I don't know that it's always better for the kids- but I don't believe it's easier to parent alone than with someone you don't get along with.
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 16, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Lol. For my Stich,it's Wierd to me. My ex was very abusive ESP after drugs and alcohol came in. He never stepped up and helped himself have a better life. He's actually quite easy to talk to and agrees w my parenting and even my dh's role. It's weird. Yet he's a sucky father.

BM is around half the time and it feels she does more damage emotionally then an absent parent.

Family dynamics really trip me out. I'll never understand but it's very interesting to learn everyone's Stich.

My Dh also helps me out a lot w my
Dd's but it still feels like I am A single mama like you said:))


Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:


Quoting looneytunes290:

I agree- I don't know that it's always better for the kids- but I don't believe it's easier to parent alone than with someone you don't get along with.

I agree with this. 

However, again it depends on the stitch.

For my kids, it's better that I parent alone. Well I did until DH. Shit, I still do! lol

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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on May. 16, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Thats what I find odd. I've grown up in an intact family. Even my bro has been married 17 years now. My aunts and uncles are also intact.

You would think more parents would be the Biggest help in the world,and when you get them, you want them to go away bc they are toxic! Lol. It's weird To me.

Parenting is never easy,is it?lol.


Quoting sandeeyo:

In my case, it wasn't easy, but way better than having to parent with my ex and ds's crazy stepmom! lol

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