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"Sleep with me, sleep with me!"

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Hi guys,

SO needs some help.  Little Man (3) is back and forth every few days from BM/SO. Since this has begun, every night he screams bloody murder when he goes to bed. He says he hates his Thomas the Train bed (his favourite character, ever) and screams that he wants somebody to sleep with him, bawling and crying. The words he screams repeatedly have been "sleep with me" and "my mommy would sleep with me". It's really becoming an issue, he does fall asleep pretty quickly as kids do but the kid is clearly upset and Boyfriend doesn't know what to do. He reassures him that it's okay and that he'll see him in the morning but it still is tough on both of them.

It is probable that BM sleeps with him, they likely share a room where they are staying right now but that's not really any of SO's business.. 

Any advice? 

by on May. 16, 2012 at 8:14 PM
Replies (11-15):
workoutmom2b1g
by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:42 PM

He's 3. He's not really crying it out IMO. He's trying to manipulate you into sleeping with him. I'm sure it works on someone else and thats why he keeps doing it! CIO I think is in reference to newborns etc. He will be ok. Be consistant and he will be ok!! Good luck! 

good

Quoting daddysgf:

Thanks, we're just learning!
It's never been an issue before here and SO's mom keeps calling it abuse to let him cry after saying no to him. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

this is pretty typical for the age.

your boyfriend should either sleep wtih him, or firmly tell him no and ignore the requests.

Those are basically the same two options that every parent in the known universe chooses from.



andie646c
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 10:52 PM

I wonder if this is normal in 8 yo's too ... interesting :p

YSS has been begging SO to sleep in his room with him every time he comes over. Strange thing since SS's have eachother AND no one else sleeps in their room with them at BM's ... 

DS is 3, his dad lives in a camper trailer so of course DS sleeps in bed with ex. At home he sleeps in his own bed. It helps to have a routine. We put on a night night pull up, then I hand some control to DS by letting him pick two night night stories, we read them. If DS sat well through the first 2, he gets to pick one more from the bookshelf. Then he "needs" something (a drink usually), he gets his drink. I cover him up, give night night kisses and hugs, say I love you and go to bed.

It didn't work immediately. He was terribly upset about it when we first started doing it. He has gotten used to the routine though. He feels better when I say, "I'll come in and check on you in a little bit" ... for a while I had to explain EVERYTHING I was going to do, "Mommy has to take a shower, then put on night night clothes, then clean up the living room and then I'll come check on you" and that made it better.

The point is, consistency. At 3 they seem quite capable of understanding that things are different at mommy's house than at daddy's house. As long as you and your SO stay consistent on routine at your house, SS will get used to it and eventually fuss less and less. 

ROBIN-C
by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:59 PM

 get na consistant nighttime routine. turn off tv at least and hour before bed so he can calm down. at bedtime read to him while cuddling. turn on music, calming music or cd.. or stories on cd (can get from library or $1 store!). s/o can stay in there as long as child doesnt talk and has eyes closed. if he talks or plays etc then s/o needs to leave.

goodluck... my 8 year old daughter still whines about wanting to sleep with me... and right now since her dad just left for rehab i am letting her!

daddysgf
by and that's all on May. 16, 2012 at 11:09 PM
Shes a different kind of individual.. Shes been known to "pop in" to see if hes in bed... No, im not joking.
They had a long chat tonight, she is now much more his ally in the situation... She coslept with her kids until they were much (much) older and didnt understand how this is a very different situation.

Quoting whatIknownow:

Then don't tell her. Tell her he went right to sleep. He's 3... he won't rat his father out.


Quoting daddysgf:

Thanks, we're just learning!
It's never been an issue before here and SO's mom keeps calling it abuse to let him cry after saying no to him. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

this is pretty typical for the age.

your boyfriend should either sleep wtih him, or firmly tell him no and ignore the requests.

Those are basically the same two options that every parent in the known universe chooses from.



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daddysgf
by and that's all on May. 16, 2012 at 11:13 PM
Thanks,
We have actually always had a very consistent bedtime schedule here: jammies, puffers, teeth, pee, story from daddy, story from lully, kisses for all the animals and a kiss for the most special animal of all..
Bedtime was never an issue before, but there has been a huge change in visitation.. It was two weeks/two weeks and is now two or three days/two or three days. He isnt adjusting to it well (who would?) and BMs bedtime routine is different from ours.. I can see that being a major player in the whole issue!

Quoting ROBIN-C:

 get na consistant nighttime routine. turn off tv at least and hour before bed so he can calm down. at bedtime read to him while cuddling. turn on music, calming music or cd.. or stories on cd (can get from library or $1 store!). s/o can stay in there as long as child doesnt talk and has eyes closed. if he talks or plays etc then s/o needs to leave.


goodluck... my 8 year old daughter still whines about wanting to sleep with me... and right now since her dad just left for rehab i am letting her!

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