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nervous about situation of meeting BM!

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:16 PM
  • 6 Replies

 i have been dating s/o for 6 months. i havent met bm of their 15 year old daughter yet. bm has made it clear she is jealous of my relationship with their daughter.

this sunday sd has an award banquet for track. she wants me and my daughter to come. also she wants me to meet her boyfriend that will be there.

i asked s/o if this would be a bad time to meet BM because i dont want sd stressed or bm to cause a scene. s/o insists that sd wants us there.

i told s/o that he must tell bm that i will be there prior to event. i dont want to suprise her!

i just dont know if this is a good situation to meet bm? but will break sd heart if i dont go!

by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:16 PM
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by Gold Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:20 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you handled it well. I did the same I made sure dh 'warned' bm that me or my kids and I would be there when we first started going to each others kids stuff. It made things pretty easy at the time.
I will say that if bm is determined to have an issue with you she will. Bm here was all good until dh and I got serious and he called dh telling him she would come home and he told her in no uncertain terms they were divorced they were staying that way he was happy and he didn't want her to come home.
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by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:35 PM

You should let mom know there is nothing to be jealous of.  It is always easy to like the woman that you only have known for a few months and who doesn't have to be the bad guy or discipline or do the hard stuff. 

Or dad should.  Because it is the truth.  You're the fun one.  The one she sees when she sees dad.  Mom has been the one to raise her and be the one who has to deal with the stuff teens and kids do and hope that her kid turns out alright.  You just get the joy of knowing a kid who has pretty much already been raised and is probably on her best behavior around you because of the short time she has known you.

by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:45 AM

There is never a good situation to meet BM. Just keep it short and sweet. Don't try to tell her your not trying to make her jealous, because that will make her mad that you are trying to be the bigger person. Try to avoid talks about who has a better relationship with DD or anything of that sort. Just small talk for now. If she does not like you or is jealous of you prior to meeting you, then she will always have an issue with you and nothing you say to her will make her feel better. Short and sweet and avoid long conversations or sitting by each other if possible.

by on May. 17, 2012 at 8:59 AM
How did it go?
by on May. 17, 2012 at 10:13 AM

 Personally I feel if BM speaks you speak. Just as one of the other ladies said, make small talk and that's it. If BM doesn't speak, I wouldn't force the issue and besides when all balls down to it, it's about SD, you are there to congratulate her and show her how proud you are of her. Also, kudos for addressing the situation with SO before hand.

by on May. 20, 2012 at 7:24 PM

 well i first met BM sat. night when we picked up SD from her house. it was very brief. BM walked to my car and i got out and extended my hand and introduced myself. BM just came to car to give s/o their daughters track pics.

today at track award BBQ everything went well. BM came alone so she sat with s/o and me. just a bunch of small talk and some laughs. slightly uncomfortable but not bad. my daughter (8) was there and i told BM how my daughter shadows her daughter and wants to do everything just like her... and BM laughed when my daughter only got chips to eat at BBQ because that is all her daughter got (SD didnt want to eat in front of her boyfriend, lol!).

when SDs boyfriend and his parents came over to meet SD parents i took a few steps back and let it be about SDs parents.

i think BM meeting me finally will make things better from now on.

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