Please guys I know that sounds awful and I am sounding like a bad SM but here is why !
I have been with DH for 8 yrs now, My oldest Step DD is 20 and has her own place. The other two are 17 & 12.
The 17 yr old SDS is addicted to video games. He has been this way since I have known him. Dh makes him go outside and it turns into a hudge fight. He gets angry.
Then there is 12 yr old step DD. She is bi polar. She is medicated now but I have put up with so much from her since she was 4. When I was pregnant she came at me with a butcher knife, threw screaming fits. Cut the neighbors son with a knife. It got so bad that the social worker called me and I told them to come and get her. So the cops showed up and was going to take her away and DH mom showed up and got her.
BM is a piece of work. She has moved 8 times since me and DH have been together. 4 different states. She meets men online and just ups and moves them there. Then it don;t work out she calls wanting the kids to come live with us until she gets on her feet. The youngest DD has been to 16 schools since she started in Kindergarden.
Dh has went to court to get her for neglect or taking them out of the state which was contempt of court. He has tried to get custody and the judge says there old enough to choose. The BM promised my SDS a new playstation 3 this past time to tell the judge he wanted to stay with her.
So She moved them to TN and we talk to them on the phone all the time, but DH has not seen them in over a yr. BM would not let them come at christmas when The oldest SDD came up.
So we are going to TN next mth. My oldest Step DD wants us to come see her new place and we want to see the Step Grandbaby. We are planning on taking them all to the nashville zoo. We'll 2 days ago 12 yr old step dd was talking about BM wanted them to come for the whole summer.
We have a parenting plan that was every other major holiday for the week and 3 weeks out of each mth in the summer. That was when she was in PA, Since moving to TN Dh has tried 2 times to go back to court to modify the parenting plan and she has had it postponed because she cannot get back here for court.
My Dh works long hrs . About 80 hrs a week and I would have to take care of my 3 kids who are all under 5, and then the step kids. I am worried about SDD bi polar. Before when she came down I made my kids sleep with me and locked the door because I worried about them.
Me and Dh have argued about this. I know they are my SK and I see DH point but I have children too who are not old enough to defend themselves. I cannot do it. I cannot take the emotional strain.
Do you think I am being horrible? Sorry that was so long!