I found out Saturday that he did something totally inappropriate. We talked and I thought he would be kissing my ass and bending over backward to make this right. But another Stab to the heart. He just told me that instead of celebrating one year tonight his daughter has an award banquet at school. Didn't call to tell me. Told me by text. Granted we are both at work. But WTH.
Yes, it's time to start seriously sitting down and talking with this man...or then it's ultimatum time. I can understand him putting you off one time here and there for something like a banquet that cannot be rescheduled but if he's doing it often, he's not showing that he's putting you/his marriage first. And yes, I believe that a couple has to put their marriage first...in order to put the children first TOGETHER. If couples end up divorced AGAIN, it doesn't do anyone much good does it? Good luck to you! :)
Quoting ec_mom:
I don't want to sound like you need to give him an ultimatum you may not be at that point yet, but I would make counseling a condition of making it work. Of course, go to SD's award banquet tonight then tomorrow privately discuss your concerns & the counseling.
He probably should have called but you can't really fault him for putting his child first. That is what a parent does. As far as him being inappropriate and hurting you, if you agreed to get over it why does he need to be bending over backwards to kiss your ass for forgiveness????
RED FLAG !!!! why would he even be texting an old GF ??? that is not cool at all so you guys have only been together one year ???? I think somethimes men think that kind of behavior is ok and really see nothing wrong with it. I tell you because my SO did something similar but it was to a friend from school and he said the girl was lesbian so he really didnt think he was doing anything wrong. we sat down and told him how innapropriate his behavior was and it has never happened. COMMUNICATION is the key here. you said he texted you about the banquet he might have just found out as well . dont jump the gun find out exactly whats going on before you assume anything. just hang in there things WILL get better just talk it out.
Yelp, Married one year today. Now I get to spend my one year in a horrible mood at SD banquet.
Yea.
I'm with you on this one. The anniversary should have come before going to the movies. Like WIKN said, that can be rescheduled. The awards banquet you've got to go to but I bet he knew before the day of. Sucks that you're just finding out. He is disrespecting you in lots of ways right now. He needs to get his act together!
I'd be more pissed about the GF than the missed anniversary celebration. The banquet should have come first. In 20 yrs, we've never been able to celebrate our anniversary on our anniversary. With 5 kids, something always was going on. Now, if I found out DH was texting an XGF telling her one thing while telling me something else, that is major, major, major. Lucy would have some 'splainin to do.
I agree that Banquet trumps anniversary, and think it's at least possible that the child "forgot" to tell her parents about it until the last minute.
But a text? I think canceling an anneversary dinner at least deserves a real phone call.
Quoting whatIknownow:What did he do that was inappropriate?
I would probably go to an award banquet for my child and postpone the anniversary celebration. I do think anniversaries are important, but so are award banquets. You can celebrate the anniversary a few days before or after, but you only get one shot at the award banquet. Although... its' a little strange that he didnt know about the banquet until today.
Step kids and extracurriculars
- Sharon85
on May. 21, 2012 at 1:06 PM