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What can a SM post on here?

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It seems like any time I've posted in this group I get attacked by BM versus advice from other SM.
What is it okay to vent about? What's up with all the negative, self righteous behavior in this group?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 21, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lunakim77
by on May. 22, 2012 at 4:50 PM

 Since you are the group mod can't you do something about all of this?

Quoting KellyReedy:

I have to kind of agree!  It's STEPMOM CENTRAL, but there seems to be a lot of BM's with big mouths that hate that we vent.

 

Lunakim77
by on May. 22, 2012 at 4:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 I say to all you BM's out there, that is fine if you are also a SM. Please only post the point of view from the SM, not the BM. If you do not agree or get upset with the posts then read forums for biological mothers only.

Us SM have to stick together. Not gang up on eachother.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 4:57 PM

 

Quoting Lunakim77:

 I say to all you BM's out there, that is fine if you are also a SM. Please only post the point of view from the SM, not the BM. If you do not agree or get upset with the posts then read forums for biological mothers only.

Us SM have to stick together. Not gang up on eachother.

 Youre kidding right? So you are asking people to throw all common sense out of the window just because we must band together whether it be right or wrong? Sounds like the day the OJ Simpson verdict was read.

GlockMom
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2012 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Lunakim77:

 I say to all you BM's out there, that is fine if you are also a SM. Please only post the point of view from the SM, not the BM. If you do not agree or get upset with the posts then read forums for biological mothers only.

Us SM have to stick together. Not gang up on eachother.

I read with my SM side on and answer with it also.  Being a seasoned veteran status SM (12 years) I see a lot of mistakes being made by the newer SM and I see it much more beneficial to tell them the truth about their mistakes as opposed to letting them think they are in the right when they are very much in the wrong.  I have answered very frequently as a SM here and been told that I gave a BM answer. 

Telling the truth is sticking together.

newStepmom05
by on May. 22, 2012 at 5:08 PM

I'm a new stepmom and taking time to adjust to the harshness of others judging you for what you think should be the right thing versus something else is hard stuff. 

As SM's we walk the fine line as others have said, we give so much with very little recognition. Others just seem to expect that we know what to do, we have the right answers, we are okay with everything... etc... 

I would say post what you want. Weed out what you need. There will be people who agree with you and people who won't. PM people if you need to. 

Support is a HUGE thing. I think we all come here for support in some sense as well as a place to vent and get advice. Being attacked could just lead a person to thinking that the space here is negative, and therefore the SM would go elsewhere or just bottle up frusterations. I personally speak from experience from that. I asked for advice on another website/forum and was attacked for having my own opinions and then now here I am. 

While I think that people should be truthful, I think that being supportive of others in the same situation whether new to the role or veterans also helps immensely. 

YesImMomToo
by on May. 22, 2012 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I read and post as a sm only.

I appreciate the advice I get from the bms and the sms. Sometimes their advice hurts because i dont want to admit that maybe im part of the problem.

Sometimes someone posts something so absurd to my situation that I just ignore it

This isnt a therapy session, there are many of us who speak from been there done that. We dont all have to agree with you nor is this group for stepmoms only.

If you're wanting to debate bm vs sm there is another group for that.

Whats your next post going to say? Please dont respond if you disagree with me? Thats ludacris

Offering advice is being supportive. I think the real issue is you don't like the advise youre getting
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TheStepMonster
by on May. 22, 2012 at 5:18 PM
Wait a minute. I am a SM only. I do not have BKs and never will. I am also a CSM to a SD who sees her mom less than 4 days per month. I was also an active NCSM to SD before DH got custody. I do not have a hat.

But, I also have zero tolerance for the SM who comes in to whine and vent but is unwilling to do anything to help her situation. Some may come across tougher than I or others do. But the message is on point.


Quoting Lunakim77:

 I say to all you BM's out there, that is fine if you are also a SM. Please only post the point of view from the SM, not the BM. If you do not agree or get upset with the posts then read forums for biological mothers only.


Us SM have to stick together. Not gang up on eachother.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 22, 2012 at 5:19 PM

It's ok to vent about anything you like here.  it's a free ccountry.  But it's also a free country to post an opinion about what you think about someone's vent...this is an open forum.

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on May. 22, 2012 at 5:26 PM

Just remember that some of us big mouthed BMs are also SMs - CSM or NCSM lol

Quoting KellyReedy:

I have to kind of agree!  It's STEPMOM CENTRAL, but there seems to be a lot of BM's with big mouths that hate that we vent.


1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on May. 22, 2012 at 5:27 PM


Quoting YesImMomToo:

I read and post as a sm only.

I appreciate the advice I get from the bms and the sms. Sometimes their advice hurts because i dont want to admit that maybe im part of the problem.

Sometimes someone posts something so absurd to my situation that I just ignore it

This isnt a therapy session, there are many of us who speak from been there done that. We dont all have to agree with you nor is this group for stepmoms only.

If you're wanting to debate bm vs sm there is another group for that.

Whats your next post going to say? Please dont respond if you disagree with me? Thats ludacris

Offering advice is being supportive. I think the real issue is you don't like the advise youre getting

I have pretty much dealt with my postings in this manner.

There are times where it is more appropriate to reply as the BM I am... I'm not harsh when the BM comes out. I'm actually more bitchier when I respond as SM. Dunno why...

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