My husband recently received Petition or Motion from BM for Custody or Shared Parenting. We cannot afford to hire an attorney therefore he will be representing himself. Does anyone have experience or knowledge in doing this?
Just a little background - he has had custody of the 3 kids for the past 9 years (oldest is now 18) with BM given standard visitation (which is every other weekend and 1 day a week). She started using the weekends about 5 years ago and maybe 4 years ago she would get them for a few hours on a week night (which only lasted a month). SWhe hardly ever comes to any of their sporting events or extra cirricular activities even when they are with her. BM and new husband have just recently bought a house in same town we live in (even though they did not live far away before - but it was in a different county and school district), Two things that I believe are in my husbands corner - are that she does not drive and does not and has never used all the visitation days available to her.
How old are the youngest 2? What is she wanting to modify it to?
The other 2 are 15 and 11. It just says that she wants custody, shared parenting or just more time in general - but let me reiterate SHE DOESN'T USE THE TIME SHE HAS..........
We just no way will have the money because we are the ones that pay for everything (except for her $400 a month - which really doesn't go too far). She does not help with anything above that because in her eyes she is helping us not her kids.........One year she bought them school clothes in exchange for my husband doing some work on her house. Throughout the years her excuse has always been that they dont have money, then come to find out that they do have the money but they were saving up for a new house, new car and apparently an attorney!
Sorry it is just so frustrating. I do resent her and I will admit that - I have been taking care of her responsibilities for years.....
I wouldnt get a attorney at this point. Shared parenting I think you would have to be in the same school district. They may give her more visitation but doubt she would get custody. That stuff is so drawn out I would hold off on the atty part.
THANKS!
She is in the same school district now - and shared parenting would be ok. Maybe then she can pick up some slack for us. Not only are we constantly running the kids here and there, we also have 4 year old together. The 18 year old did not get his license yet so we still have to get him to and from work........
Depends on how good her attorney is, really. If you have documented everything, organize it so that you DH knows what's in it and where it is. Highlight key points. Maybe you guys could settle out of court? Just a thought.
Have DH request mediation. I really don't think it's a good idea to go into court w/o a lawyer if the other party has one. And it sounds like your DH is in a good position. As long as there is not major change, the normally won't make a change like that.
Quoting pseudomamma:Have DH request mediation. I really don't think it's a good idea to go into court w/o a lawyer if the other party has one. And it sounds like your DH is in a good position. As long as there is not major change, the normally won't make a change like that.
I'm thinking.. ur DH's BM is thinking, because now she is in the same school district, the school bus can pick up and drop off the kids.
So if anything changes or on her weekends.. Fridays after school the kids can take the bus to BM's and DH will pick up the kids from BM. research what the age of election is in ur state, the judge may ask the skds what they want.. if they say they want more time with BM.. he will grant it.
He has had his kids for 9 years...unless the skids say that they can't stand their DH and they feel like they really need to be with their mom, I don't see a judge giving her custody or anything. Maybe more time. And if she doesn't utilize the time given to her, document it. Prove that it was her visitation time and she didn't take it and if it ever comes back up, you can show she doesn' t need more custody until she actually uses her visitation time.
As for representing yourself, unless you are sure about yourself and your proof...I would get a lawyer. My SO's ex represented herself when she tried to steal custody and lost because her proof of SO's daughter needing her mom was that she was a girl, she put her in pre-school (which we were in the process of doing) and that she takes her daughter fishing and her daughter loves it. The judge said, in our case, she still would have lost with a lawyer but she would have had better chances of proving things against SO. If you are really worried about losing your skids, I would just get a lawyer. They are usually pretty good about payment plans. Ours told us that we can just pay him only $20 a month if thats all we want to do...
The court is not going to change custody and take the kids out of the stable home they have had for 9 years just because she suddenly decided to play mommy. They may grant her shared parenting but i doubt it will last long. It will lose it's appeal after she gets tired of the back and forth. The fact that she doesn't drive will go against her. What does she expect the courts to do? Order your husband to pick her up for activities LOL.
Would you be insulted? And a second question...
- wenwen6473
on May. 22, 2012 at 8:24 AM