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Guilt trip

Posted by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:38 AM
  • 46 Replies
My SD11 has been staying with me for 2 months now and everytime she talks to her BM on the phone BM gives her a guilt trip (it could be about anything) last night BM told her that she's getting a divorce and started talking about how much it would cost to live on her own (in full detail) what 11 yr old needs to know this?? Then BM asked how she was doing in school and about her attitude SD said "I'm doing great" BM got pissed because she is doing well...shouldn't she be proud??? Then to top it off BM tells SD that we (DH) is fighting for custody and BM will be all alone to work and pay bills...again what can an 11yr old do to help her??? I just get so annoyed that she puts so much burden on a child!!!! She's a kid let her be a kid!!!!
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by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MomHH22
by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

We dealt with alot of this with my SS.  Just take the high road.  Never say anything negative about BM to SD.  The custody issues are not things a child should be involved in.  Even at 11 years old.  Maybe DH can talk to BM about not laying guilt trip on SD, but it likely won't change.  Eventually, hopefully, she will see BM for what she is, but in reality she is still her mother and that means something.  Not sure there is anything you can do to keep BM from telling SD stuff though.  Best of luck!

maof1andhalf
by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:46 AM
We role play with SD on handling BM's guilt trips when she starts her crap we teach her to change the subject or act like she has another call coming in.
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LilacGirl1980
by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:49 AM
Unfortunately, this is more commom than you might think...and completely assholeish. Not much you can do other thanthe teach SD kindness. Why is she living with you? Just curious.
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maof1andhalf
by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:53 AM
BM said "I can't handle her". She rarely went to school and had a major attitude problem...She moved in with me, I show her that I'm her parent , not her friend, and wala she respects me...lol
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ErinRenee815
by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:12 PM

What did she do to give the impression that she was pissed SD was doing well in school? Did she literally say, I'm pissed that you're doing so well? 

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 23, 2012 at 12:19 PM
2 moms liked this

Your best bet is to go into another room so you don't have to hear these conversations. Then they won't bother you.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 23, 2012 at 12:21 PM

So, where is her father? I take it he does not live with you?

ErinRenee815
by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:26 PM


Quoting maof1andhalf:

We role play with SD on handling BM's guilt trips when she starts her crap we teach her to change the subject or act like she has another call coming in.

If DH and SM did that to my kid I would raise holy hell. Pray BM never finds out what you are really like. Hell hath no fury like a mom who is REALLY pissed off. That is a whole new level of crazy. 

BluDog
by Member on May. 23, 2012 at 12:30 PM
Even after nearly 5 years bm still lays guilt trips on sd 13. "Oh, we are so poor"...well bm is a financial advisor so I guess she's crap at her job. "Oh, I'm so lonesome when you're gone"...bm rents out spare rooms to boarders so go vent to a grown-up. "We are going to have so much fun when you come home"...sd has 2 homes and ours is way more fun so leave sd be.
maof1andhalf
by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:54 PM


Quoting ErinRenee815:

What did she do to give the impression that she was pissed SD was doing well in school? Did she literally say, I'm pissed that you're doing so well? 

Yes, those were pretty much her exact words

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