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I don't know how to feel about this...

Posted by on May. 24, 2012 at 9:48 AM
  • 40 Replies

So my SO has 2 boys, 7 and 8, which are now on summer vacation and seeing as how I don't work I'm left to baby sit them when it's his time with them, which I guess isn't a big deal even though they're disrespectful and don't listen, and back talk to me like it's nobody's business, but thats a story for another post.

So anyways, I'm here with his 2 boys for like 12 hours a day while he's at work, yesterday I texted him and tried to be sweet, and sent him the lyrics to You Are My Sunshine (it's also sort of an inside joke too) all he said back was ":)" and that was all I talked to him all day, of course except when it was almost time for him to come home and he wanted to know what was for dinner and if I had happened to buy him smokes. I just figured well maybe he was busy at work?

This morning as he's getting ready for work I looked through his phone a little bit, and I see that he had been texting another girl all day, nothing bad, just talking about World of Warcraft shit and random shit, although there was a few 'hun' and 'babes' in there, which that rubbed me the wrong way. So he was too busy to try and talk to me, whose at home with his kids, cleaning and cooking and being disrespected, but he can chat it up with some other chick?

I really don't know how I feel about this, I mean it's nothing there was anything bad or that crossed the line really, but it still upsets me. How would you guys feel about this? Am I over reacting?

by on May. 24, 2012 at 9:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2012 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

No, I don't think you are over-reacting.

Not sure what to tell you, but I do understand your frustration, given that you are babysitting his kids for 12 hours a day.

I think I would keep an eye on his texts. That seems kind of  paranoid, but something doesn't feel right here.

LilacGirl1980
by on May. 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM
I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.
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CoochieLibre
by on May. 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM


Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I don't think you are over-reacting.

Not sure what to tell you, but I do understand your frustration, given that you are babysitting his kids for 12 hours a day.

I think I would keep an eye on his texts. That seems kind of  paranoid, but something doesn't feel right here.

Ditto.

~*~ "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art" ~*~

ndirishchic06
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:02 AM

Its shit like that, that makes me feel like all I am anymore is the babysitter/cook/maid. I don't feel like the shit that I do is appreciated anymore, it's expected, and I go above and beyond for him. I deal which his kids back talking and disrespecting me all day, when really, I shouldn't have to baby sit for them, they aren't my responsibility. Yet I know that the minute I tell him I don't want to baby sit for him anymore, he'll get pissed off at me. Which yet again, makes me feel like the babysitter. I love him, I really do. But I'm just not sure how much more of this I can really take. I moved 14 hours away from everything I've ever known, my whole family, everything. For this. And I do deserve better.

Quoting LilacGirl1980:

I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.


ndirishchic06
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:04 AM

What else bothers me, is the fact that I don't even think she knows he's in a relationship. I mean its on his Facebook profile that he's in a relationship with me, and they're friends on Facebook, but who knows if she's payed attention to that, or even cares.

Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I don't think you are over-reacting.

Not sure what to tell you, but I do understand your frustration, given that you are babysitting his kids for 12 hours a day.

I think I would keep an eye on his texts. That seems kind of  paranoid, but something doesn't feel right here.


LilacGirl1980
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:08 AM
You are correct on all counts. So, what 'cha gonna do about it? This is your life..you get one shot. You think its just gonna get better...just 'cause? I dont mean to sound cold....its just really sad and I hope you can hold yourself accountable for making your life what it can be. May I ask how old you are?

Quoting ndirishchic06:

Its shit like that, that makes me feel like all I am anymore is the babysitter/cook/maid. I don't feel like the shit that I do is appreciated anymore, it's expected, and I go above and beyond for him. I deal which his kids back talking and disrespecting me all day, when really, I shouldn't have to baby sit for them, they aren't my responsibility. Yet I know that the minute I tell him I don't want to baby sit for him anymore, he'll get pissed off at me. Which yet again, makes me feel like the babysitter. I love him, I really do. But I'm just not sure how much more of this I can really take. I moved 14 hours away from everything I've ever known, my whole family, everything. For this. And I do deserve better.


Quoting LilacGirl1980:

I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.




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ndirishchic06
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM
I'm really not sure what I'm gonna do about it yet. He's caught me looking at his phone before, and he got sorta pissed at me, yet now looking back why would you get pissed if you didn't have anything to hide? Its hard for me to bring anything up to him when I am upset, bc he always turns it around on me and tells me that I just like to stir up shit and fight. Like I said, I really do love him, but when alls said and done sometimes loving someone isn't enough to keep ya together. I'm 24 and he's 33...


Quoting LilacGirl1980:

You are correct on all counts. So, what 'cha gonna do about it? This is your life..you get one shot. You think its just gonna get better...just 'cause? I dont mean to sound cold....its just really sad and I hope you can hold yourself accountable for making your life what it can be. May I ask how old you are?


Quoting ndirishchic06:

Its shit like that, that makes me feel like all I am anymore is the babysitter/cook/maid. I don't feel like the shit that I do is appreciated anymore, it's expected, and I go above and beyond for him. I deal which his kids back talking and disrespecting me all day, when really, I shouldn't have to baby sit for them, they aren't my responsibility. Yet I know that the minute I tell him I don't want to baby sit for him anymore, he'll get pissed off at me. Which yet again, makes me feel like the babysitter. I love him, I really do. But I'm just not sure how much more of this I can really take. I moved 14 hours away from everything I've ever known, my whole family, everything. For this. And I do deserve better.


Quoting LilacGirl1980:

I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.






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whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you should find a job, because right now with him supporting you, you are really not in a position to stop babysitting. He is supporting you in exchange for babysitting, right? So to free yourself from that, I think you need to get a job and not be dependent on him.

Quoting ndirishchic06:

Its shit like that, that makes me feel like all I am anymore is the babysitter/cook/maid. I don't feel like the shit that I do is appreciated anymore, it's expected, and I go above and beyond for him. I deal which his kids back talking and disrespecting me all day, when really, I shouldn't have to baby sit for them, they aren't my responsibility. Yet I know that the minute I tell him I don't want to baby sit for him anymore, he'll get pissed off at me. Which yet again, makes me feel like the babysitter. I love him, I really do. But I'm just not sure how much more of this I can really take. I moved 14 hours away from everything I've ever known, my whole family, everything. For this. And I do deserve better.

Quoting LilacGirl1980:

I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.



RubyLu
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this

World of Warcraft can be a relationship breaker, as can facebook. Put your foot down. You deserve the best. Maybe let him know that if he doesn't step up and be the man you deserve, you can and will easily find it somewhere else. Don't make it a threat, just an obvious statement.
Life is way too short to be anything but happy.

ndirishchic06
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:23 AM
That's my plan so far, I've started to put in some apps at diff places around here. It just sucks bc we live in a super small town, and there's not much here. But I'm determined to find something, bc I refuse to be his babysitter all summer.


Quoting whatIknownow:

I think you should find a job, because right now with him supporting you, you are really not in a position to stop babysitting. He is supporting you in exchange for babysitting, right? So to free yourself from that, I think you need to get a job and not be dependent on him.


Quoting ndirishchic06:

Its shit like that, that makes me feel like all I am anymore is the babysitter/cook/maid. I don't feel like the shit that I do is appreciated anymore, it's expected, and I go above and beyond for him. I deal which his kids back talking and disrespecting me all day, when really, I shouldn't have to baby sit for them, they aren't my responsibility. Yet I know that the minute I tell him I don't want to baby sit for him anymore, he'll get pissed off at me. Which yet again, makes me feel like the babysitter. I love him, I really do. But I'm just not sure how much more of this I can really take. I moved 14 hours away from everything I've ever known, my whole family, everything. For this. And I do deserve better.


Quoting LilacGirl1980:

I think you DO know how you feel and its ok. Get it out....'cause its bullshit and you have every right to be pissed off. Let it fly, sister...dont edit yourself. You dont deserve to be treated like the free babysitter. You refer to him as SO...is this the life you envisioned for yourself....really? Please look hard at what you are willing to accept...I bet you deserve better.




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