ok so my SO and i are expecting our first child together and i am not sure how to handle the whole stepkid and new baby thing..... my 4 year old step son calls me by my first name, and it hasnt been a problem. he calls his birth mother mommy and for now until he is old enough to understand that he has a mom and a step mom we are keeping it that way. but now with a new baby on the way i wonder how this will work out, clearly the baby will be calling me mommy and his father daddy, but i think that the son will be confused a little about why that is and why i am mommy to the baby but tracy to him.... so for all the other step mothers out there that also have bio kids, how did you handle this? i dont want to make him feel left out or that he is different. is 4 years old too early to explain that he has a different mommy and how do you do that?
see my step daughter is 3 and she calls me by my first name..and i also have 2 kids of my own..one is 2 and one is 8 months...and we tell my sd that that is her sister and her brother..but she just understands that she has her own mommy and my son also calls my dh daddy because his isnt around..and he picked it up from her..i dont think its early at all..my sd understands it completly..and she doesnt feel left out at all..when we first got together she was very jealous that it waasnt all about her..and now she is all about her baby sister and her brother..it might take time for him to get used to it but i think u can explain it to him and he will understand also
You aren't giving the kid enough credit ;)
My 3 yo knows that he has a mommy, she has a name (that's me). He also knows that he has a daddy and he has a name (my ex). He knows that SS's have a different mommy and daddy as well. He also knows that each of his friends at school has their own mommy and daddy.
All the kids at DS school know that I'm DS's mommy (ages 2-3) and when they see me they yell, "There's Charlies mommy!" and "Charlie, your mom is here!".
Your SS will do fine. If he slips (as all kids do, even the 8 and 9 year old here will slip occasionally) just gently correct it and move on.
My SD has slipped once or twice by calling me mom and once I had my son he calls me mommy and dh daddy(they share the same father) My sd calls my GG because I use to call her GG as a baby so now she calls me that it doesnt bother me I just answer to it as if she is calling me by my 1st name. When she get older I do not plan on her calling me by my 1st name when she gets older im going to sit down with her and come up with a nick name she can call me but not my 1st name
No one is confused. I don't think ss feels bad about using my first name. He tried the mommy thing for a while but I didn't encourage it... And it didn't stick.
Don't worry, momma. It will be fine..
U just tell him that since this baby comes out of your belly, you are mommy. He didn't come out of your belly so your not his mommy, just his stepmom. This is how i explained it to my SS and SD who were 3 and 5 at the time i had my DD. I had a few issues with SD wanting to call me mommy, but now she know it hurts her moms feeling so she doesn't do it anymore. She is 5 now.
( I didn't tell her it hurt her moms feelings, she accidently called me mommy in front of her mom and her mom took a nice swing at me.)
Very Proud!!!!!!
- piratepixie
on May. 24, 2012 at 2:11 PM