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Grounded child vs. ungrounded child**update on pg 5**

Posted by on May. 26, 2012 at 11:48 AM
  • 47 Replies
My SO grounded his ydd for the weekend. We are planning on going to an air show this Sunday. He doesn't want to bring her along because she is grounded and this a special day. She was well aware that we were going and still decided to act up. Now he wants to find a sitter for her but feels that if he does she will still get to do fun stuff. Then I said we could bring her but she won't get to do any special stuff.

My question: what do you guys do when you have one grounded child and a special thing planned?
Do you send said child to sitter or do you bring child along anyways? Or do you not go at all?

I feel it's unfair to other children to not go to air show. ( I know this is very trivial but I'm wondering what others do)
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by on May. 26, 2012 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HotMamaRosie
by Member on May. 26, 2012 at 12:58 PM
One person has to stay behind with her. I HATE when they are grounded bc it's like u are grounded too.
cherrywaves21
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Get sitter and let the sitter know she isn't allowed to have fun.

How old is she?
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packermomof2
by on May. 26, 2012 at 1:23 PM

We had a "sit down" one time.  My ex wouldn't do it unless his wife was there, so I brought my husband.  My ex didn't do much of the talking, allowed his wife to do it (it was the only time she had a voice in the situation... not that her opinions were taken into consideration, it was just the only time she was humored). 

My ex was EOWeekend at the time.  The topic of discipline came up.  She thought my kids were liars and wanted to show  a "united front"... ha.  I said I ground them at home from things.  Sometimes we don't go do "fun" things when they are in trouble.  She said it wouldn't work because they may have fun things planned and she didn't want their plans changed.  Which just showed me she wasn't serious with much of what she had said (there was a lot going on at the time and no matter what was said she wanted the opposite done, this included).

She has two kids of her own, maybe she felt it was unfair for her kids also.  Is she had let her man talk maybe he could have said he'd have been the parent and followed through on the groundings while she took her kids out instead of expecting me to be the bad guy all the time.

When I ground my kids someone stays with them or the whole family doesn't do the fun thing, depending on what it is.  I don't make exceptions.  I also don't have to ground very often as there are other more suitable punishments for my kids to get the message across.

My point is sometimes a parent has to do things they don't want to do so that their kid can follow through on the punishment.  You don't have to stay behind, take your kids. 


anabama
by on May. 26, 2012 at 1:40 PM
1 mom liked this

This is what we do. Thankfully we don't have to ground them too often.

Quoting HotMamaRosie:

One person has to stay behind with her. I HATE when they are grounded bc it's like u are grounded too.


andie646c
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2012 at 1:41 PM

Interesting question, I'm curious too.

SS's were grounded at their moms house once ... SO didn't really follow through with the grounding though. They weren't grounded from EVERYTHING, just video games. If he did follow through with groundings and they were grounded from everything then I'd go by myself (with whichever kid(s) were allowed). If it were DS who were grounded (he is 3, we have some time, lol) then I guess I'd stay behind while he takes his kids.

If it were our daughter together ... hmm. Something tells me we might end up in fights on who stays behind, lol.

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2012 at 1:44 PM
3 moms liked this

I used to say that the grounded child had to stay home, but DH would say no..they get to go. It used to be a fight.

Now...

 I actually like them going when we do fun things. It makes memories. Loosing that, isn't worth having the child not go due to be grounded.

So, this is what I do. I tell the grounded child they have to do some extra work around the house in order to go do the fun event with the rest of us. It works so much better.

1. child is not sitting on their ass

2. I get extra help with stuff  inside or outside the house

3. child still feels,and is punished for the crime

4. we get our family memory

Ask DH if  he would consider having his DD do some work around the house. 

drowning in laundry

trust me as they get older and want to be with their friends every weekend, he is going to wish he had more fun time with her. Don't miss out on it now, it's not worth it.

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on May. 26, 2012 at 3:10 PM

I am so going to use this with DS! (And the others as they get older!)

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

I used to say that the grounded child had to stay home, but DH would say no..they get to go. It used to be a fight.

Now...

 I actually like them going when we do fun things. It makes memories. Loosing that, isn't worth having the child not go due to be grounded.

So, this is what I do. I tell the grounded child they have to do some extra work around the house in order to go do the fun event with the rest of us. It works so much better.

1. child is not sitting on their ass

2. I get extra help with stuff  inside or outside the house

3. child still feels,and is punished for the crime

4. we get our family memory

Ask DH if  he would consider having his DD do some work around the house. 

drowning in laundry

trust me as they get older and want to be with their friends every weekend, he is going to wish he had more fun time with her. Don't miss out on it now, it's not worth it.



Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
                                         Marilyn vos Savant


1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on May. 26, 2012 at 3:11 PM

I personally don't believe in ground a child from going anywhere. I will take some privileges away, and even send to room until dinner (as long as it isn't HOURS away...). I completely agree with Ethan about making sure you can make the memories.

shekyram
by on May. 26, 2012 at 3:30 PM
We get a sitter in cases like this. It's a wierd situation but you have to stay firm with the punishment without punishing the other children or the family. We have one that acts up all the time and we had to start getting him a sitter because he figured he would be able to do by default.
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2012 at 4:02 PM

Love and logic. great stuff

I actually get excited inside when the kids eff up. I'm like.."oh, my weeds are so getting pulled this weekend!" Tehe

Of course on the outside I give them the mom look, but on the inside I'm full of glee.

I have a massive tree in my front yard. When we 1st moved in, the tree was surrounded with ivy!! This shit went all the way up the tree. It was really bad!! At 1st I was just going to deal with it being there, but after a while I hated it!!! However, I didn't want to pay someone to pull it all out. Well...lol, My brother ( I have custody) was around 16/17. He got into some major trouble. So, guess what he got to do. YUP.... pull the ivy. I told him when he was done he was a free man. His friends even came and helped. It was great! AND...he still talks/laughs about it to this day. If I would have just grounded him, it would have been hell for days. 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

I am so going to use this with DS! (And the others as they get older!)

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

I used to say that the grounded child had to stay home, but DH would say no..they get to go. It used to be a fight.

Now...

 I actually like them going when we do fun things. It makes memories. Loosing that, isn't worth having the child not go due to be grounded.

So, this is what I do. I tell the grounded child they have to do some extra work around the house in order to go do the fun event with the rest of us. It works so much better.

1. child is not sitting on their ass

2. I get extra help with stuff  inside or outside the house

3. child still feels,and is punished for the crime

4. we get our family memory

Ask DH if  he would consider having his DD do some work around the house. 

drowning in laundry

trust me as they get older and want to be with their friends every weekend, he is going to wish he had more fun time with her. Don't miss out on it now, it's not worth it.



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