Ok, so there's this whole other post about how men who have 50/50 should be forced to be doing all the parenting. To me, that just seems like a jelous BM. Like they don't like it that their ex husband gets a lot of help from their new wife while they as BM are stuck with most of the responsiblity in their home since their new husband won't help. Because why else would they care so much about how he's getting things done? From what I have seen, no mother out there does things 100% on their own. Most parents would agree an extra set of hands is priceless so why hate on the ex because he has that?
SM doesn't need to say anything to BM. BF should be telling BM, I've got doctors appointments handled during my time. End of story. It's not up to BM how her ex handles his parenting responsibilities.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:THat's right he should be able to.
we are not talking about our own situations. If we were, I would be saying I DO EVERYTHING!!! There is no BM for SK's there is no BF for my bio kids.
we are talking about 50/50...... where BM wants to do things, but SM is saying no...I'll do it.
That is what people are not understanding. LOL
Quoting Mom2Addison12:not a step parent. but i agree with you, if the bio father can get off of work, then he should be able to take the child to the appointment.
now in my situation, i would have my husband do it....bio father isn't in her life, he is in jail, and hasn't seen her at all.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
the point of that post was...
If parents have 50/50.
And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can.
Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?
Quoting happyblue:
The feeling is mutual.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
Okey dokey.......
Quoting happyblue:I think 50/50 is the max you should get once you split. If you get more say then that then you are theoretically taking away from the other parent. It's simple math.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:so a father or mother that wants to be a part of the child's life other than just 50/50 is micro managing?
Quoting happyblue:I'd hate to have an ex that was this anal. In our sitch, we don't meddle into how BM is getting things done, we just let her do it. If we had 50/50, we'd certainly like the same. I think a lot of BMs just need to get a life and realize that their exs are just as much a parent as they are and can handle raising their kids just like they can. Who likes to be micro managed .. eeek!
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:the point of that post was...
If parents have 50/50.
And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can.
Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?
Quoting happyblue:The feeling is mutual.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
letting BM or BF take their child to a dr appointment on the other parents time, isn't a control thing. It's called co-parenting, and it being about the child having mom and dad a part of their life as much as possible.
How is it UP to BM? Just because she says...."oh, I can and would like to take our son to his appointment."
I would love to know your stitch.
Quoting happyblue:SM doesn't need to say anything to BM. BF should be telling BM, I've got doctors appointments handled during my time. End of story. It's not up to BM how her ex handles his parenting responsibilities.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:THat's right he should be able to.
we are not talking about our own situations. If we were, I would be saying I DO EVERYTHING!!! There is no BM for SK's there is no BF for my bio kids.
we are talking about 50/50...... where BM wants to do things, but SM is saying no...I'll do it.
That is what people are not understanding. LOL
Quoting Mom2Addison12:not a step parent. but i agree with you, if the bio father can get off of work, then he should be able to take the child to the appointment.
now in my situation, i would have my husband do it....bio father isn't in her life, he is in jail, and hasn't seen her at all.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
the point of that post was...
If parents have 50/50.
And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can.
Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?
Quoting happyblue:
The feeling is mutual.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
that sm needs to go screw themselves than....it's a sm place to say what the bm can and can't do with her children.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
THat's right he should be able to.
we are not talking about our own situations. If we were, I would be saying I DO EVERYTHING!!! There is no BM for SK's there is no BF for my bio kids.
we are talking about 50/50...... where BM wants to do things, but SM is saying no...I'll do it.
That is what people are not understanding. LOL
Quoting Mom2Addison12:
not a step parent. but i agree with you, if the bio father can get off of work, then he should be able to take the child to the appointment.
now in my situation, i would have my husband do it....bio father isn't in her life, he is in jail, and hasn't seen her at all.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
the point of that post was...
If parents have 50/50.
And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can.
Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?
Quoting happyblue:
The feeling is mutual.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
Quoting Mom2Addison12:that sm needs to go screw themselves than....it's a sm place to say what the bm can and can't do with her children.
LMAO... agreed
oh my, you're nuts
Quoting happyblue:
SM doesn't need to say anything to BM. BF should be telling BM, I've got doctors appointments handled during my time. End of story. It's not up to BM how her ex handles his parenting responsibilities.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
THat's right he should be able to.
we are not talking about our own situations. If we were, I would be saying I DO EVERYTHING!!! There is no BM for SK's there is no BF for my bio kids.
we are talking about 50/50...... where BM wants to do things, but SM is saying no...I'll do it.
That is what people are not understanding. LOL
Quoting Mom2Addison12:
not a step parent. but i agree with you, if the bio father can get off of work, then he should be able to take the child to the appointment.
now in my situation, i would have my husband do it....bio father isn't in her life, he is in jail, and hasn't seen her at all.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
the point of that post was...
If parents have 50/50.
And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can.
Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?
Quoting happyblue:
The feeling is mutual.
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:
Quoting Mom2Addison12:oh my, you're nuts
Quoting happyblue:
SM doesn't need to say anything to BM. BF should be telling BM, I've got doctors appointments handled during my time. End of story. It's not up to BM how her ex handles his parenting responsibilities.
I guess I must have one of the good ones .. (and I suspect he's not the exception) he's got things covered while the kids are here.
Quoting chanizen:
Oh blue....stop letting your husband be a lazy ass. If he's not interested in parenting and mom doesn't think the home wrecker has an awesome view of what is best for the kids.... Perhaps they shouldn't go to dad's house so he can pawn them off.
Go play with your toaster or whatever it was
uhm wow. All I can say is-every situation is different. What works for you may not work for another mom. So....good luck with that!
Quoting Tigress22304:
watch out.....happyblue might sleep with your hubby next.
WHY did I think I could do this?!
SHARED CUSTODY, CHILD SUPPORT QUESTIONS
- happyblue
on May. 30, 2012 at 7:02 PM