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Ok, so there's this whole other post about how men who have 50/50 should be forced to be doing all the parenting.  To me, that just seems like a jelous BM.  Like they don't like it that their ex husband gets a lot of help from their new wife while they as BM are stuck with most of the responsiblity in their home since their new husband won't help.  Because why else would they care so much about how he's getting things done? From what I have seen, no mother out there does things 100% on their own.  Most parents would agree an extra set of hands is priceless so why hate on the ex because he has that?

by on May. 30, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Replies (31-40):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:


Quoting Tigress22304:

popcornuhm wow. All I can say is-every situation is different. What works for you may not work for another mom. So....good luck with that!

watch out.....happyblue might sleep with your hubby next.

That's ok-I got the bedstraps setup from the other day-and my cuffs and whip's still out. It'll be interesting to see just how far she'll make it into MY house before I catch her ass.


happyblue
by on May. 30, 2012 at 8:31 PM

Oh I don't know first hand how I would feel but my first thought is it sounds rather intrusive.  My BM isn't interested in doing DH any favors - and I rather like it like that.  We hardly ever hear from her.  During his parenting time, he has to figure it out just like she has to during her time.

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

letting BM or BF take their child to a dr appointment on the other parents time, isn't a control thing. It's called co-parenting, and it being about the child having mom and dad a part of their life as much as possible. 

How is it UP to BM?     Just because she says...."oh, I can and would like to take our son to his appointment."

I would love to know your stitch.

Quoting happyblue:

SM doesn't need to say anything to BM.  BF should be telling BM, I've got doctors appointments handled during my time.  End of story.  It's not up to BM how her ex handles his parenting responsibilities.   

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

THat's right he should be able to. 

 we are not talking about our own situations. If we were, I would be saying I DO EVERYTHING!!! There is no BM for SK's there is no BF for my bio kids.

we are talking about 50/50...... where BM wants to do things, but SM is saying no...I'll do it. 

That is what people are not understanding. LOL


Quoting Mom2Addison12:

not a step parent. but i agree with you, if the bio father can get off of work, then he should be able to take the child to the appointment.

now in my situation, i would have my husband do it....bio father isn't in her life, he is in jail, and hasn't seen her at all.

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

the point of that post was...

If parents have 50/50. 

And lets say the kids are at BM's house. The kid has a dr appointment, but mom can't get off work. However, dad can. 

 Should dad be able to take his child to the appointment or should BM tell her DH to do it?

Quoting happyblue:

The feeling is mutual.

Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:

banging head into wall









sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 30, 2012 at 8:36 PM
2 moms liked this

I did everything for my son up until he graduated high school...hell, I'm STILL doing a lot for him since he has a disability.  His dad lived in a different state and only saw his son a handful of times...all on my dime because I wanted our son to have some sort of relationship with his dad. 

One thing that my ex didn't do was throw all the responsibility of taking care of our son while in his care on his wife.  He was in the military, but never used the excuse that he didn't have time.  SM said that HE did everything and took vacation the few times our son went to visit him.  HE understood that it was important for him to pitch in and take care of his own and let me tell you my ex isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.  My son's SM and I never saw eye-to-eye, but I commend her on making sure that her DH, my ex, made time to parent our boy.

I don't know where I was going with that, but, yeah, extra set of hands IS priceless when they're HELPING you, not doing the work for you.  That's like pairing up with the work-horse kid for a lab experiment because you know they'll do all the work if you don't.

Also, the only time I've seen the ladies here get on an SM about doing the lion's share of taking care of her stepkids is when she's complaining that DH does nothing to help, does nothing to make sure the kids respect her, and does nothing about disciplining the kids for disrespect, and then gives SM shit for trying to discipline the kids herself.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:38 PM
1 mom liked this

This never happened to me.

But if - that is IF - during my Ex's (very limited) parenting time, let's say there was a doctor's appointment, and his wife thought she should take my kids to that appoint instead of me, simply because it was "her husband's parenting time"... holy hell no to the fucking way would she be taking my kids to the doctor if I could muster the strength to do it myself. From his house. I'd drive there, pick them up, take them to the appointment, and bring them back to his house afterwards to continue their visit with "him."

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting whatIknownow:

This never happened to me.

But if - that is IF - during my Ex's (very limited) parenting time, let's say there was a doctor's appointment, and his wife thought she should take my kids to that appoint instead of me, simply because it was "her husband's parenting time"... holy hell no to the fucking way would she be taking my kids to the doctor if I could muster the strength to do it myself. From his house. I'd drive there, pick them up, take them to the appointment, and bring them back to his house afterwards to continue their visit with "him."

 ahhhhh! Where's my sunglasses!!!!! The glow of your uterus is simply blinding!

 

LOL

chanizen
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:41 PM
I don't qualify man who cheats on his wife.... And then breaks up a family as a good man.

Actually pretty much it's the definition of a jerk.


Quoting happyblue:

I guess I must have one of the good ones ..  (and I suspect he's not the exception) he's got things covered while the kids are here.

Quoting chanizen: 

Oh blue....stop letting your husband be a lazy ass. If he's not interested in parenting and mom doesn't think the home wrecker has an awesome view of what is best for the kids.... Perhaps they shouldn't go to dad's house so he can pawn them off.



Go play with your toaster or whatever it was



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 30, 2012 at 8:45 PM


Quoting baparrot2:

 

Quoting whatIknownow:

This never happened to me.

But if - that is IF - during my Ex's (very limited) parenting time, let's say there was a doctor's appointment, and his wife thought she should take my kids to that appoint instead of me, simply because it was "her husband's parenting time"... holy hell no to the fucking way would she be taking my kids to the doctor if I could muster the strength to do it myself. From his house. I'd drive there, pick them up, take them to the appointment, and bring them back to his house afterwards to continue their visit with "him."

 ahhhhh! Where's my sunglasses!!!!! The glow of your uterus is simply blinding!

 

LOL

Is that what that is?!?!?  Damn, I just thought we were having an early sunset or something!  The colors are FABULOUS!


 

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:49 PM

intrusive!? How dare a mom..... wanting to take HER child to the dr. *GASP*

BM is not interested in doing DH any favors....

I'm starting to see where you are coming from, and it's NOT about the kids. 


Quoting happyblue:

Oh I don't know first hand how I would feel but my first thought is it sounds rather intrusive.  My BM isn't interested in doing DH any favors - and I rather like it like that.  We hardly ever hear from her.  During his parenting time, he has to figure it out just like she has to during her time.



E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on May. 30, 2012 at 8:51 PM
3 moms liked this

Quoting sandeeyo:


Quoting baparrot2:

 

Quoting whatIknownow:

This never happened to me.

But if - that is IF - during my Ex's (very limited) parenting time, let's say there was a doctor's appointment, and his wife thought she should take my kids to that appoint instead of me, simply because it was "her husband's parenting time"... holy hell no to the fucking way would she be taking my kids to the doctor if I could muster the strength to do it myself. From his house. I'd drive there, pick them up, take them to the appointment, and bring them back to his house afterwards to continue their visit with "him."

 ahhhhh! Where's my sunglasses!!!!! The glow of your uterus is simply blinding!

 

LOL

Is that what that is?!?!?  Damn, I just thought we were having an early sunset or something!  The colors are FABULOUS!


 


newwife1
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2012 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Uhhh does someone have a kid I can borrow to take to the doctor or something?

Apparently it's some great honor and so much fun that SM's are just aching to do it instead of the parent.

I must be missing out on some good times at the Pediatrician's office. Do you they give you cotton candy or vodka or something?

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