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Haven't been myself lately.... *short edit at bottom*

Posted by on May. 31, 2012 at 3:05 AM
  • 12 Replies

I haven't been myself lately.  I'm moody, to put it bluntly.  Everything SO and SS do annoys me.  I can't stand to be in the house with them.  I wish I could leave but since we share a vehicle, I have to make sure SO doesn't need the car first.  

The last two weekends have been consumed with SO doing things with SS.  Which I don't mind.  However, I'm a firm believer in not blowing money just because it is there, and since we've had more money the last couple months, SO seems to think it's okay to have a "boys' day out" every Saturday.  DON'T GET ME WRONG HERE- I'm all for them having time to themselves to have fun and be dad and son together without me around.  I found out though, that between last weekend and the weekend before, SO somehow managed to spend $200 fucking around mini golfing, riding go-karts, eating out, and going to the mini water park.  

Of course, he's trying to distract SS from being bored and being annoying at the house (I admit- SS is getting on my last nerve lately, as well) but we DO NOT HAVE $200 to just BLOW like that!

I've been wanting to avoid SO and SS.  I do not want to be there when they are home.  I want to sleep late.  I had Tuesday night off, so I stayed up until 6am, went to bed, and slept until after 5pm.  I wanted to go back to bed.  

I haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks.  SO mentions (too late, I add) that we're out of shit and it makes me mad.  So I told him, "Then you better get some after work since you have the car."  If I don't get right up and cook them dinner, he makes them sandwiches and doesn't bother asking me if I want anything to eat.  This pisses me off.  I will make them a nice dinner and I don't get a thanks but if I don't, SO doesn't even have the decency to ask if I want something.  I'm done making dinner for them.

However, I've still been stuffing my face like crazy.  Anytime I'm annoyed or upset, I start eating whatever is in front of me.

I think we're both driving each other crazy and everything is annoying us.  

I also have a question about kids-

When do they start sleeping in on weekends?  SS gets up before the sun comes up most weekends.  But he's a pain in the ass to wake up on school days and he has usually had MORE sleep.  I don't get it.

I just needed to vent I guess.

I'm starting pilates in the morning when I get home from work so I can release some of this tension!

**Thought exercise and meditation by myself would make me feel a bit better.  Wrong.  I managed to get motion sickness during pilates and I now have a massive headache.  WTF?  ....And no, I'm not pregnant.

by on May. 31, 2012 at 3:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nena61978
by on May. 31, 2012 at 6:22 AM
You sound like I did at the start of my relationship.. You and your spouse need a date with just you two and you would feel better if you let him know how you felt about the over spending and that it's nice to take them out at least once a month but
not every weekend.. Next time cook something only for you something small and if he questions you let him know he has to arms that work perfectly fine and that he now knows how you feel when he does the same. You work you also get tired too and sometimes don't feel like doing crap and would like to just zombie out in front of the tv, read a book etc etc.. This money that he is overspending is it from your checking also? If so yeah I would hide it things happen and emergency will occur and wtf you gonna do without the extra money.. Believe me we just spent 5grand on fixing my husband's Damn ssr and that money came out of both our xxx's thank god we both had a bonus and money in our 401k but what the hell would we have done if we didn't have that extra source..
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neverbeamom
by on May. 31, 2012 at 6:32 AM

We do have one night a weekend to ourselves, but I try to budget our money.  And I didn't realize he'd spent THAT MUCH on the last two outings so I spent $50 on us going out.  Then he casually mentions how much he dropped while taking SS out.

We don't share a banking account.  Eff that.  I keep my money separate.  I know he is a spender.  If he's got extra cash, it's gone.  So I pay our bills with my money, he pays rent with his.  I save the rest of mine- and apparently he is not saving his, after we had a long discussion about our situation possibly changing again over the summer (SS is going back to overnights with BM which means he MAY have to pay CS again).

I think he is stressed out, too.  He's so focused on trying to keep SS happy while SS is with him that he's not thinking about the big picture.  Which I ALWAYS do.  He can't see more than a week in advance and it's really getting on my nerves.  He used to fork over his extra money to me, too, so I could hide it.  He stopped doing that and said he started putting it in his savings.  I haven't asked him for a statement because I feel like I'd be overstepping with him, but at the same time, I DO have savings, and it isn't much so if something goes wrong, he better be prepared to put some into the pot with me!  

Ugghhhh I feel like a whiner.  But I'm not 21 and dumb anymore.  I want to build a house, I want to get another vehicle, I want to pay my student loans off (and $80 a month isn't cutting it).  I'm not waiting until I'm 50 to get it all done!  

We're having a talk tonight.

Quoting nena61978:

You sound like I did at the start of my relationship.. You and your spouse need a date with just you two and you would feel better if you let him know how you felt about the over spending and that it's nice to take them out at least once a month but
not every weekend.. Next time cook something only for you something small and if he questions you let him know he has to arms that work perfectly fine and that he now knows how you feel when he does the same. You work you also get tired too and sometimes don't feel like doing crap and would like to just zombie out in front of the tv, read a book etc etc.. This money that he is overspending is it from your checking also? If so yeah I would hide it things happen and emergency will occur and wtf you gonna do without the extra money.. Believe me we just spent 5grand on fixing my husband's Damn ssr and that money came out of both our xxx's thank god we both had a bonus and money in our 401k but what the hell would we have done if we didn't have that extra source..


zannahdeux
by Silver Member on May. 31, 2012 at 7:57 AM
Maybe during the talk you can ask that only a specific amount of money be spent per weekend. He can pack sandwiches, or stop off to eat first. Help him find some free stuff for the boys to do, like parks and a place to hike, etc. You have to understand that if the skids annoys you and you don't want him in the house then dh is trying to make you happy by taking him out. You might want to start a journal where every night you only focus on the good instead of the bad to help change your perspective...

I think it is reasonable to put a clock in their room and tell them when the clock hits x u can get up, otherwise you should be sleeping but depends on how old the kid is. but you going to bed at 6am prob didn't help the situation so perhaps you need to get more regular sleep?
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on May. 31, 2012 at 8:24 AM


Quoting neverbeamom:

However, I've still been stuffing my face like crazy.  Anytime I'm annoyed or upset, I start eating whatever is in front of me.

I do this too. I HATE this. There are some people who clean compulsively when they are stressed. I wish I did that instead of eating compulsively.

As for the rest... I'm sorry you're stressed. And it sucks that they didnt' offer you a sandwich too.

The question about sleeping late.. my kids started that when they were about 12 or so. 

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2012 at 8:28 AM

 When the kids were smaller, life felt discomboulated most of the time no matter how much I tried to organize or reign things in. I think being frustrated like this is pretty normal at this juncture for you.

neverbeamom
by on May. 31, 2012 at 8:34 AM

I work third shift, so 8am is my usual bed time lol.  

I think everything going on is just getting to me and so every. little. thing. is bothering me, no matter how small.  

Quoting zannahdeux:

Maybe during the talk you can ask that only a specific amount of money be spent per weekend. He can pack sandwiches, or stop off to eat first. Help him find some free stuff for the boys to do, like parks and a place to hike, etc. You have to understand that if the skids annoys you and you don't want him in the house then dh is trying to make you happy by taking him out. You might want to start a journal where every night you only focus on the good instead of the bad to help change your perspective...

I think it is reasonable to put a clock in their room and tell them when the clock hits x u can get up, otherwise you should be sleeping but depends on how old the kid is. but you going to bed at 6am prob didn't help the situation so perhaps you need to get more regular sleep?


neverbeamom
by on May. 31, 2012 at 8:40 AM


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting neverbeamom:

However, I've still been stuffing my face like crazy.  Anytime I'm annoyed or upset, I start eating whatever is in front of me.

I do this too. I HATE this. There are some people who clean compulsively when they are stressed. I wish I did that instead of eating compulsively.

As for the rest... I'm sorry you're stressed. And it sucks that they didnt' offer you a sandwich too.

The question about sleeping late.. my kids started that when they were about 12 or so. 

I don't like it!  I lost so much weight when things were calming down and getting on routine and now they're all thrown off and I'm gaining it all back.  I remember when I was younger I wouldn't eat when I was stressed- I'd feel sick.  Now I can't get enough food!  I clean compulsively when I'm pissed off haha.  Despite how I may seem I don't get really mad that often, though.

lmao@the sandwich thing.  I didn't even want a sandwich is the thing- I'm not a sandwich person, really.  It was just the fact that I can just SEE how it would go down if I made myself dinner and nothing for them.  Ya know?

And, I need to fast forward the next 3 years, then.  Because SS needs to start sleeping in on weekends.  He was getting good about not waking us up until his clock said 8:00 but the last few weekends, he has started coming in at 6, OR EARLIER.  It's only one day for me, but I like that one day my schedule is normal because I don't sleep with SO during the week, so Saturday night is NICE for us.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2012 at 8:43 AM

 

Quoting neverbeamom:


Quoting whatIknownow:

 

Quoting neverbeamom:

However, I've still been stuffing my face like crazy.  Anytime I'm annoyed or upset, I start eating whatever is in front of me.

I do this too. I HATE this. There are some people who clean compulsively when they are stressed. I wish I did that instead of eating compulsively.

As for the rest... I'm sorry you're stressed. And it sucks that they didnt' offer you a sandwich too.

The question about sleeping late.. my kids started that when they were about 12 or so. 

I don't like it!  I lost so much weight when things were calming down and getting on routine and now they're all thrown off and I'm gaining it all back.  I remember when I was younger I wouldn't eat when I was stressed- I'd feel sick.  Now I can't get enough food!  I clean compulsively when I'm pissed off haha.  Despite how I may seem I don't get really mad that often, though.

lmao@the sandwich thing.  I didn't even want a sandwich is the thing- I'm not a sandwich person, really.  It was just the fact that I can just SEE how it would go down if I made myself dinner and nothing for them.  Ya know?

And, I need to fast forward the next 3 years, then.  Because SS needs to start sleeping in on weekends.  He was getting good about not waking us up until his clock said 8:00 but the last few weekends, he has started coming in at 6, OR EARLIER.  It's only one day for me, but I like that one day my schedule is normal because I don't sleep with SO during the week, so Saturday night is NICE for us.

 My dd was the same way. Couldnt get her up for school but was up at the crack of dawn on weeknds? WTH? Now when she sleeps in, I love it. I am not one of those parents who force her to get up. She usually sleeps till about 10ish. Which really isnt bad for a teen anyway.

neverbeamom
by on May. 31, 2012 at 9:33 AM

It suuuuuuuuucks.  Not having a "normal" work schedule messes things up even more.  I'm ready for SS to sleep in until one in the afternoon lol.

Quoting baparrot2:

 When the kids were smaller, life felt discomboulated most of the time no matter how much I tried to organize or reign things in. I think being frustrated like this is pretty normal at this juncture for you.


ErinRenee815
by on May. 31, 2012 at 9:51 AM

Sounds like it's time for a talk with the DH. Everyone needs to feel appreciated. 

My kids 12 and 14 were both awake when I got up at 9:30 this morning. This is our second day of summer vacation. I expect that by the end of summer they will be sleeping much later. 

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